This Sunday is the Chiefs game we will be attending. Front row, slightly left and behind one of the goal posts. Nice spot, really. The players bend and stretch before the game. That's always been my favorite part of attending a game since I was in high school. *sigh* They are playing the Broncos at 3:15pm central time. I restrung one of the football necklaces and need to do the other one before then. I haven't decided exactly how I want to do it. If my damn computer were working properly I'd use the scanner, but it would kick the boot file off again. Kids are gonna stay with their aunt. Depending, they may stay Saturday night. That would actually be better, as the quickest way is down 7hwy rather than across town where my sister is and have to take I-44(I think). 2 hours to Karen's house and probably take 2 hours to get to the game and parked. Damn traffic sucks! So many ppl attend the game, not to mention there's some car race track near there. People in the parking lot that do the tailgating thing and watch the game on their tv's. I think that's amusing, a warm house would be nicer. Must be a die-hard fan thing or something. Atleast we get to visit Karen for a bit before the game, which reminds me, we must call her. And gotta call sweetpea to remind her she's taking my kids. LMAO!

Her birthday is in about 2 weeks. 5 days after Steven turns 3. I have no idea what to do for his birthday, mine were never much the thing so I have no real desire to make any birthday 'the thing'. My house is too small to throw a party with his aunts, uncles and cousins attending. Even if only half come. 3 uncles, 2 aunts and plenty of cousins makes lots of ppl. Not to mention I hate crowds, no matter how well I know them. Makes me wanna hide. Have to ponder that one. Aunt sweetpea will be 20 something, I never can remember, only that she was born in 1991 I think. Hell, I still have the 'present' I made for Dalyna. I am sooo bad. I forget to send things. Have to re-string anyway. I've found the damn crimp beads end up slicing the wire and/or string eventually and they come apart. Which reminds me, I suppose I could give up a set of my turquoise/dragonfly things. The only colors I have are red, white, blue and turquoise. I only work with things I like, so I don't have many choices. I'm thinking I need some baby blue seed beads and matching bigger glass beads. Maybe a pink also. Hmm. Oh, yes, forgot sweetpea is gonna have a proper party for her birthday, and if I find a babysitter, I can go get drunk. Been quite some time for that. Atleast before Steven was concieved, if not before Mikel.

Where was I? Oh, yes the bead colors. Actually I have a rich red that matches the Chiefs color, the blue is more a dark but not navy that matches the Royals color (don't ask) and plain white. I think I'll get some that aren't opaque, meaning not shiny or pearlescent(sp?). The seed beads are smaller than I could wish, they are too small for some of the bigger beads I have. Instead of 4mm, I think I will check out 6mm or 8mm. I can't really tell the size though, there are only pics on the web and that isn't all that accurate. I have a baaad sense of size anyway so I'd have to string some to decide what size I want. I have a lovely flag set made up. Hubby asked me to make one when we were in Wal-Mart and saw the nice wooden flag beads. I had red, white and blue beads anyway, so that was simple. I also strung myself a new turquoise dragonfly necklace. I found some marked down sterling silver charms a few months back. Very pretty silver dragonfly, apparently I'm fascinated by them, I'll show it to you when I manage to get this damn computer fixed. It ended up smaller than I intended. I had decided that 20" was a proper size. This one ended up being 16 ½". It fits like a choker, so I know eventually I'll give it away. Can't stand things on my neck like that. It wouldn't be symmetrical or a 'proper' looking pattern if I added more beads, so Oh well. I did however, decide 18" is a better size, it fits to above the neckline of shirts, so no hassles of them being under a shirt and trying to put it over a collared one. All's well that ends well. A skinny person, I should think could wear it. Hmm. Problem is, I make them to please myself, and you never know if someone actually wants one of them and aren't just being polite. They are made to be worn, not accepted then put up to never be used. My insecurities are showing again, I think.

Well, with luck my nephew will order and get the new motherboard soon and all will be well again. We decided that the one I do have is most likely 'bad' as his is giving him fits too. It'll be fun to mess with my pics again. I miss that. My need to create is getting too stifled, I can't do it at this point. My programs even being on the hard drive seem to make it break all the sooner. Even if they aren't running. Not to mention it doesn't really take any space on my hard drive. Last time I put them all on, defrag said I still had 98% free space. That is without the games. No point in loading them when you lose your characters. UGH! I miss Diablo, it's a fun game.

See ya'll later. |

Preconcieved notions. Filtered glasses. What have you. Went and did the 'thing' with hubby's brothers (and families) yesterday. Wasn't near as bad as I thought. Actually it was fun. Everyone was nice. Even the 'preachy' ones didn't get all 'preachy' this time. I think maybe I colored my own judgement a little too far.

So, my activities: I taught my sister-in-law, many years older than me, how to thicken drippings from the turkey and turn it into gravy. That amused the hell out of me. Add a little cornstarch! Unfortunately, I used a glass bowl for the cold water, it was a little slick, didn't have a proper hold, and dropped the bowl into the gravy pan. *BIG SPLASH* Oops. No big deal though. Seasoned it a bit and we had a nice, richly flavored gravy. Also, she used her roaster thingy for the turkey. The lady in-laws were a little dismayed that the turkey was done, yet the skin was pale. More amusement for me, as the youngest of the ladies is over 10 years older than me. I shocked them with the suggestion to put it under the broiler, on Lo, and they were amazed that in 5 minutes the damn thing browned. I never knew the ladies didn't know the tricks and cheats of home cooking. LMFAO!

Chatted with the ladies for a bit, but no one had any suggestions that I hadn't already tried to convince Steven to want to use the potty for number 2. Oh well. The guys decided to play Texas hold 'em after dinner. I didn't want to play. The thing is, I always win, take their money and whatnot. I have noticed they don't really appreciate it. Can't say I blame them though, Why play if you can't win? No, not bragging, it just happens. One of the nephews says, 'You wanna know a secret? My mom won't play poker if you do, since you always win.' I says, 'That's not really a secret, I already know that.' *giggles* So the guys needed another player, only played with chips not money, and no one else wanted to play. They told me I had to. So I showed them my 'stay in with some crappy hands' thing I do. Then when I got a good hand, I took them for all I could. Got hubby for $6000 before he folded, then I showed them all my pair of deuces. Got down to me and brother-in-law, not the ones that brag about their 'awesome' playing, and got bored. I think he was too. He took my money with a pair of 5's, I had a pair of 3's. I was done. It was pretty priceless when the poker players were shocked to find out I went all in on a pair of 3's. Sooo sweet. Love to fuck with their heads, it's great.

Came home to find Mikel had 103° fever. He was done with that by noon today. Steven has been 102° since 4am and still going strong. Oh well. No idea why they have/had fevers, no other symptoms. Steven usually takes about twice the amount of time Mikel does so, he should be done sometime tomorrow. The motrin actually isn't working for him, tylenol is little better. Cold washcloths have been controlling it better. Just pisses him off. Sick babies are fun!

Ya'll have a nice weekend. See ya'll later. |

Even though ya'll haven't been by to visit, and probably won't before thanksgiving, I thought I'd let ya'll know I dug out my favorite turkey recipe and posted it on the recipe site. Ya'll should try it, it's very good. The gravy it makes goes really well with homemade mashed potatoes.
Recipe site
Have a nice holiday, hopefully I'll only be forced to 'visit' family once. I don't think that's possible as his brother from AZ is coming, but oh well. Atleast he's very nice and non-judgemental. Other than that, I'll probably have a weekend with judgemental hypocrites. *sigh*

See ya'll later. |

Since my computer has seen fit to stay working, I have decided on a song for ya'll. I do so like Metallica, well their 'black' cd anyway. Almost every song on that one speaks to me. Tell me what ya'll think.

'Nothing Else Matters' Metallica

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
and nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters

never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
but I know

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters

never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
but I know

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us, something new
Open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters

never cared for what they say
never cared for games they play
never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
and I know

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
No, nothing else matters

As always, the lyrics are from Lyrics 007. Click on the special button I made for them on the sidebar. This time it's animated!
Happy holidays, see ya'll later! |

This stupid computer keeps fucking up! Boot file keeps getting kicked off. I'm sure it's the processor or something like that. No specific program running crashes or causes the same thing over and over. Just the same damn result. My favorite saying for these times: Well, fuck me running. Atleast I have my books. They're great. I'll be on and off until I get this damn thing fixed. New Quote! Look up.

I noticed my visitors are starting to search for my pics. Odd. My tattoo seems to be a favorite. It is very nice and I am rather attached to it.

I did have a nice visit with my sister and nephews. We had fun. The Chiefs lost. Oh well. I fixed her computer a bit. She had spyware from hell. There was around 100 or so with some in the system32 files. Oops. Peyton is adorable. Soooo soft. Nothing in the world like a baby's skin. He has two teeth and drools...A LOT! Born six weeks early and is already a few sizes larger than his age. Nothing unusual there, our boys seem to be big, though we ourselves aren't. Mikel is a couple inches taller than Ethan. Very funny! They are about a month apart in age. Ethan used to be the bigger one. I missed him. I'm gonna steal him for a movie weekend sooner or later. I did promise him. Such a sweetheart, and the boys did miss him.

If I don't see ya'll next week, have a nice Thanksgiving. I think it's next week. I'm cooking a turkey sometime this week. See ya'll later! |

Generally I amuse myself by checking out my statcounter. The searches that find their way here are rather humorous. Today, one was 'winx+club+porn'. LMFAO! I watch the winx club cartoon, but don't have any porn here. That's the search used most. What's worth mentioning about it though, is that the porn searcher stayed at my site for 18+ hours. Now, the question is: Were they searching for porn on this site for that long, or were they reading? Cuz they were only on the front page, no search in the archives. It doesn't take that long to read the 3 whole posts on the front page. That's my amusement for the day. Oh, how I love my statcounters. Future reference: if ya'll feel a real need to find the cartoon porn you're looking for, you need to refine your search. There are a few places you can do that kind of search and it won't kick out anything other than what you're looking for. I'll help you out if you need it. ;)

More to come later. It is the weekend, therefore we're gonna have some randomness in a bit. Only cartoon I watched this morning is Winx Club. It was pretty good. The good cartoons aren't on until later, after 6pm on Cartoon Network. Full Metal should be awesome tonight, and I'm looking forward to Inuyasha. We're going to the library too. Lots of excitement for me today. Going to little sisters tomorrow. We're gonna bbq. Making the 'men' bbq in the cold. Watching the Chiefs game too. It's really nice to be going somewhere to visit and be able to be myself. You know, accepted for who you are, no one minding all your little idiosyncracies. (Sorry 'bout the big words, been reading a lot again.) Haven't seen my new nephew Peyton since he was born. Should be fun!

See ya'll in a bit. Have a good Veterans Day weekend. Thankx to all our soldiers past and present. To my favorite soldier (was) Oldest sister, I miss you. Hope you call again soon. |

I went through quite a few songs to find one to 'represent' the holiday. Today we are supposed honor those who fought in wars past and present. Maybe we should honor the future ones too. After all, the ones in the future will be our children.

'Bang a Drum' Bon Jovi
I went to see the preacher
To teach me how to pray
He looked at me and smiled
Then the preacher turned away
He said if you want to tell him something
You ain’t gotta fold your hands
Say it with your heart
Your soul and believe it
And I’d say amen

Bang a drum for the sinners
Bang a drum for the sins
Bang a drum for the losers
And those who win
Bang a drum bang it loudly
Or as soft as you need
Bang a drum for yourself son
And a drum for me

I called upon my brother just the
Other day, he said: john I’m gonna
Die if I don’t start to live again
I work each day and night like clockwork
Just trying to make ends meet
I could kick this bad world’s ass
If I could just get on my feet

I’d bang a drum for the dying
Bang a drum for the truth
Bang a drum for the innocence
Lost in our youth
Bang a drum bang it loudly
Or as soft as you need
Bang a drum for you brother
And a drum for me

I don’t know where all the rivers run
I don’t know how far, I don’t know how come
But I’m gonna die believin’
Each step that I take
Ain’t worth the ground that
I walk on
If we don’t walk it our
Own way

No I don’t claim to be a wiseman
A poet or a saint
I’m just another man who’s searching
For a better way
But my heart beats loud as thunder
For the things that I believe
Sometimes I wanna run for cover
Sometimes I want to scream

Bang a drum for tomorrow
Bang a drum for the past
Bang a drum for the heroes
That won’t come back
Bang a drum for the promise
Bang a drum for the lies
Bang a drum for the lovers
And the tears they’ve cried
Bang a drum bang it loudly
Or as soft as you need
But as long as my heart keeps on bangin’
I got a reason to believe

Anyway, for me, this seems appropriate all around. See ya'll later! (My computer is still breaking on me, so we'll see) |

I'm in the process of changing colors. We're gonna look funny until I edit my graphics. Bear with me. Thanx.

*update 1* Well, I'm not sure about my BGW button. I think it looks weird. I'd like to change the color of the dragon bar graphic. I'm not sure I can. I did try. Maybe when I reload photoshop, I'll be able to. Hmm. I'm unsure about the header too. I think it's too fast. As soon as I find out where I got the other graphics, I'll put the site onto each part of the header too. I'm almost done for the moment. I'd like some better dragons for the bars. The larger graphics don't translate all that well when you resize them to teeny-tiny. We'll see. Opinions please!

*update 2* I've decided I don't like the dragon bars. It looks funny with the 'blue' background under it and I don't like the white. UGH! Damn computer kicked off the boot file ...something something setup/config so had to reload xp and lost everything I did here. The templates anyway, I still have photobucket. I think I like the header though. Hmm. |

While listening to my YIM launchcast, this song came on. Did I ever tell ya how much I love Lita Ford. This ballad done with Ozzy is awesome. The flow of the music just goes with the lyrics. As always, any song I'll post here is one that I relate to/speaks to me.

CLOSE MY EYES FOREVER
(Lita Ford/Ozzy Osbourne)
Baby
I get so scared inside, and I don't really understand
Is it love that's on my mind, or is it fantasy
Heaven
Is in the palm of my hand, and it's waiting here for you
What am I supposed to do with a childhood tragedy
(Chorus)
If I close my eyes forever
Will it all remain unchanged
If I close my eyes forever
Will it all remain the same...
Sometimes
It's hard to hold on
So hard to hold on to my dreams
It isn't always what is seems
When you're face to face with me
You're like a dagger
And stick me in the heart
And taste the blood from my blade
And when we sleep, would you shelter me
In your warm and darkened grave
(Chorus Repeat)
Will you ever take me
No, I just can't take the pain
But would you ever trust me
No, I'll never feel the same...Ohh...
I know I've been so hard to you
I know I've told you lies
If I could have just one more wish
I'd wipe the cobwebs from my eyes
(Chorus Repeat)
Close your eyes
Close your eyes
You gotta close you eyes for me

As always, I got the lyrics from Lyrics 007.
I'm not sure at the moment how it speaks to me, but if I look over the lyrics a bit, I'll figure it out later. Maybe I'll say, maybe I won't. See ya'll later! |

At this point, I'm fairly sure that my wacky computer problems are over. So, we are back to random shit that doesn't really matter. It's much more fun!{new quote! look up!}

Did I ever tell ya'll how much I love Saturdays? The cartoons are awesome! Winx Club is the only a.m. show I've been watching lately. Dragon booster and witch are still re-runs...UGH. Cartoon network has new cartoons lately. Did I ever tell ya'll how much I like anime? As long as there's some sort of magic, I'm game. Full metal is getting better and better. There's a new one called Naruto...it's a ninja cartoon. Odd story line, yet still amusing. s-CRY-ed is just odd. It just ended. There's a new one I just saw today. Called IGPX. Think nascar+robots. A little demolition derby, some skates, well it's interesting anyway. I'm gonna reserve judgement, no magic.

Books are awesome. Julie Garwood is my new favorite author. Her books are quite funny, yet have great sex. I found a few new authors this last round at the library. Books are due back next saturday. I get to borrow more!

I'm frustrated with my bead stuff at the moment. It seems the wire isn't as sturdy as it thought it was. I'm unsure exactly what's going on with it. I think maybe the crimp beads manage to weaken it. Problem to be solved then pondered. It's only my anklets that got broken. That could be because I never took them off. Hmm.

I had the urge to draw today. Unfortunately, I couldn't find anything I wanted to draw. I have decided to do some dragons next. All my dragon pics are on a disc waiting to be reloaded. We'll see. They should be fun to color. Especially since I now have gel crayons. They're very smooth. Reminds me of oil paints. I have some canvas paper I'd like to draw on, but I need to figure out what to use for color on it. I don't think crayon would look nice on it. Even though they are my favorites.

I'm looking forward to messing around with graphics again. We'll see. I have yet to have the chance to actually mess with that photoshop program. I got to open it once. Had no idea what was going on. Trial and Error here we come. I'm hoping to figure out if it does animations or not. I think I'm gonna draw the dragons I'll use to re-outfit my page. Could be fun. You never know. It's either that or ya'll will get stuck seeing carebears. I do sooo love them. My newest one is a latchhook kit thingy of luck bear. He's my favorite. Don't panic, I won't torture ya'll with that. I think I need to stretch the header. It looks kind of weird at 200px. Like I smashed it or something. Think I'll go for 400px.

I have to clean my house. Not looking forward to it. I've been out of sorts for the last month. Not sure if it's because I didn't have my computer for distraction or if it's something else. I've been withdrawing a bit more than usual. I need to figure that out. Haven't been able to yet.

The kids missed halloween. It rained. Mikel has a cute little dragon costume and Steven has Tigger. They got to wear them, just didn't go anywhere. Once I've got everything up and running I'll be taking pictures.

Not looking forward to Thanksgiving. Ever felt like an outsider at a family holiday? Yes, that's me. They disapprove of me since I 'let' my kids get into things at my house. They are well behaved elsewhere. For some unknown reason they are under the impression that one person can watch 2 kids 24 hours a day, nonstop, without them getting into any kind of mischief. Pleeeeeeeze! The kicker....hubby agrees with them, then admits to me that even HE can't keep them out of stuff when he watches them by himself. He's a mite to agree-able sometimes. Ah well, I'm not perfect either. I also have to start organizing reunion stuff too. That's gonna be iffy. I'll do my best though.

Haven't talked to grandma since her last letter. Still not ready to either. My father is apparently divorcing the bitch. Not my problem. I don't care. Makes no difference to me. Doesn't change my feelings one bit. Forgiveness just isn't in me. Can't do it. Can't go back there. I don't like that dark place. No one will force me or guilt me into going there. I do mean NO ONE! Reference to all that shit is in the archives...somewhere.

Well, on that happy note, we'll end. Have a nice 'rest of the weekend'. Talk to ya'll later! |

Well, here's hoping everything is fixed! Still can't get YIM yet. Gotta see about fixing my pics up too. However, I'm gonna wait a bit to hook up the scanner and printer just in case. I've been foiled so many times it ain't funny!

I have to tell ya, I missed my computer. Oh soooo much. Going online at the library isn't the same. Couldn't visit everyone. Very few have the same blog address as the title of their page. I lost my entertainments, my links to the outside world. Frankly, I was bored. If I can get this all worked out, I'm looking forward to messing around with my page again. I may even get rid of the maroon. Of course that means I have to change all of my buttons and banners! I may be going with dragons next. I got those ones a gorgeous blue color. I think, if I fade them enough, I can make them a tiled background. That may be fun. Either that or I'm gonna have to learn how to do the table crap. I don't wanna do that. I'll be redoing my pics below, I think. They're too big. Maybe I'll make them a post and a link. Hmm.

I'll be visiting ya'll soon. If you don't see me, well it means the computer is broke again. See ya'll later! |