Before I get to the complaining part of the unofficial start of tourist season here...
I will do what memorial day implies. So many people these days only know that memorial day is a holiday on the calendar. It is so much more. It's like Veteran's Day, only so much more. It is a day 'we' official honor and remember our lost loved ones. Think of it sort of like the Mexican Day of the Dead (which I believe is the day we in America celebrate Halloween), in which ancestors are honored by placing food and flowers on their graves and remember them. So...in honor of some of our lost ones...

In memory of Bill's Mom and Dad. I know they were divorced a very long time, but as they are both gone, I don't think they'll care. He says this was taken after they were first married. For now we'll focus on his mom. They divorced when he was 9, and he and his other 2 siblings who were still at home chose to live with their father. She died when he was about 19, I think. She went in for a hysterectomy and died 'on the table'. He never forgets he broke her heart when he chose his father. We've been to visit her grave on mother's day, it's something I don't wish to repeat. He never forgets. He never forgives himself either.

This is the most recent pic we have of his father. We lost him last year, I think. It seems so long ago. He was diagnosed and died of cancer within 2 months. It was really just too late to try chemo and radiation. So many of his family were broken after this loss. The woman with him is his widow. We still check on her, and I make sure she gets mother's day stuff anyway.
I can't find my pics of our next pair. They were Bill's nephews. Andy and Josh. Andy was going to graduate that summer, and Josh was just a couple years younger. It was a car accident. It was in no way their fault. It was a combination of rain, bad roads, and a curve. Apparently there's a few uneven spots along that curve that has caused even the most careful of drivers go off the road on a sunny day. The boys went out to rent a video game, and never came home.
I thought I had a pic of my cousin Aaron, but I can't find it. He died when he was 25, I think. He was the first person I ever actually knew that died. Also was the first dead body I had ever seen. He didn't look dead, it was creepy. His sisters still miss him. Janelle's youngest son was born on Aaron's birthday, the year after he died. He was out partying with friends. Apparently he fell off the back of a barely moving pick up truck and hit his temple on something. He did not look in any way bruised or scratched, so they only thought he passed out. Poor guys didn't know until he turned blue or something I guess. He was also the last boy to have our last name. Unless one of us girls give a son our maiden name, which we haven't, it will pass out of our generation.
Then there's Donny. He died of cancer also. It took him about 6 years to die of it. At first he had colon cancer. He was in his early 20's with his first diagnosis. It was taken out and thought beaten. About 2 years later it showed up again and no matter what they did, he died. He was fairly close to my age. One of the few family friends we had. He was 24. He only got to attend college for a couple of years.
Those are my lost loved ones. Yes there were aquaintances who died, but that's different. There is also Bill's grandma. I hear she was an awesome lady worth knowing. I think we would have gotten along really well. He does miss her too, but not quite like he does his parents. Now my kids really have no grandparents with the exception of Connie, Bill's stepmom. No, my father is not one I consider responsible enough to fill that role. As my mother is in no way anywhere near us, that does not matter either. Oh well, my kids have loving uncles and aunts to more than make up for what they have lost. Maybe, if I'm lucky, they won't even notice what they will be missing. Especially as they have a couple of uncles old enough to be their grandparents. Bill was a surprise and wasn't born until the oldest was already out of high school.

And now my bitching about the unofficial start of tourist season. It'll have to wait. I don't feel like it anymore. See ya'll around. Take a little time to remember your loved ones who are no longer with us. I know I miss mine. |

I let the kids fingerpaint today. Amazingly, it's Mikel the 4yr old that I can't get to say it properly. Also his 'painting' isn't very pretty, but Steven's is. Well, as much as a 2 year old can do anyway. I did help him a little, but most of it is his 'art'.


One day, I'm sure they'll get better. Right now it's more fun for them to get all messy and play in the shower trying to clean off. The top one that's pretty much a solid color is Mikel's. For whatever reason that's what he did.
He told me he was gonna 'pinger faint' tomorrow. LMAO! |

I can't believe it! I have been shaving my legs since I was 13 (don't laugh, stepmom was a vindictive bitch) and have NEVER cut myself. EVER! Tonight...I laid in the bathtub for a while, then turned the shower on. I always have it on barely warm and by the time I got to shaving...it was COLD! Good thing I brought in hubby's shaving cream, much easier when you can't keep your legs under the ice water. In case you're wondering, my hair's so thick it takes forever to thoroughly soap, rinse, condition, rinse my hair. Water was cold by the time I got to the second rinse. Oh well, it's not like the shower head was working properly anyway, damn thing had a stream instead of a spray. I didn't even notice I cut myself until I got out of the shower. I'm rather clumsy with the kids toys all over the house. I get bruises and cuts all the time. Never notice when they happen, only when the color properly. So it's no surprise I didn't notice, although I did feel a sting when I rinsed my leg off. Get out and dry and I am checking to see if I missed a patch and I'm bleeding. FUCK! Didn't even hurt until I walked downstairs. It's on my shin. About an inch and a half vertically and maybe an eighth wide. I'd take a pic of it, but I'm too lazy and it's late. It looks like I peeled the top layer of skin off. It's really not that surprising why it happened when I think about it. From marching band all those years...a whole of 3½...I have shin splints. That means when walking I have to do it softly or it hurts. Also, can't walk for long periods of time or run without pain. I've also noticed that running my finger up the shin...There are a lot of dips in the bone instead of one smooth level. With shaving cream hiding the skin it's easy to not notice, I guess. It looks like 'road rash'. Like the time I skidded my bicycle down the gravel road for about 100 feet or so when I was younger. Actually I landed on my knee and fell on my left upper leg/hip -ish area and skidded on that, while never actually falling off the bike. I hate those, they always look yellow and gross until they heal. Maybe it won't scar though, I still have the one from my bike wreck.
Ah, well just thought I'd share another good reason I now have for not wanting to shave. Besides the it's a pain in the ass and to look nice has to be done ever couple of days thing. Somebody please explain to me again why we do this to ourselves?? |

I can't think of anything to write today, so I'll post another song. This one is by Metallica. I'm fairly sure this song is on the black CD. For me, it speaks volumes.
Artist: Metallica   Song: Holier Than Thou

No more!
the craps rolls out your mouth again
haven't changed, your brain is still gelatin
little whispers circle around your head
why don't you worry about yourself instead
who are you? where ya been? where ya from?
gossip is burning on the tip of your tongue
you lie so much you believe yourself
judge not lest ye be judged yourself

holier than thou
you are
holier than thou
you are
you know not

before you judge me take a look at you
can't you find something better to do
point the finger, slow to understand
arrogance and ignorance go hand in hand
it's not who you are it's who you know
others lives are the basis of your own
burn your bridges build them back with wealth
judge not lest ye be judged yourself

holier than thou
you are
holier than thou
you are
you know not

Lyrics @ Lyrics 007
Nothing like a little heavy metal to make an angry song sound better! |

In honor of the movie I got yesterday, I'm posting the lyrics for it. Find lyrics @ Lyrics 007. I got the extended version of 'Robin Hood Prince of Thieves'. It has quite a bit more than the regular one. Columbia House DVD club had a special of buy 2 or more for $9. We got this one and the Patriot. I have the Bryan Adams cd with this song on it somewhere. Right now, I'm replaying the credits in order to listen to the song LMAO!
'Everything I Do (I Do It For You)' Artist: Bryan Adams (I'm unsure who actually owns this song. There are a few different lyrics. These are the words to the song on the movie itself. If you want the song, you can buy the Bryan Adams cd it's on. There are quite a few good songs on it. Or buy the movie soundtrack.)

Look into my eyes - you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart - search your soul
When you find me then you'll search no more
Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for
You know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you

Look into your heart - you will find
There's nothin' left to hide
Take me as I am - take my life
I would give it all - I would sacrifice
Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more
You know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you

There's no love - like your love
And no other - could give more love
There's nowhere - unless you're there
All the time - all the way

Oh - you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more
Yeah, I would fight for you - I'd lie for you
Walk the wire for you - Yeah I'd die for you
You know it's true
Everything I do - Ohhh, I do it for you

This is one of my favorite songs. One of those 'it speaks to me' songs. Enjoy! |

Well, I finally got me a workaround to get the music up. Apparently I can't really link directly to the file. It's just not working that way. However, I was able to make the My Music folder in the Briefcase Yahoo gave me public. My briefcase/My Music Folder. No matter how you're logged in or not, you can just click on the my music folder and it will show the songs I have put in there. Just click on the song you want and it'll play. Sorry I couldn't get them up any other way. The particular file is called cumonnoize.mp3. As you can see, I'm not all that creative :) I'll see if I can rename it.
Please note that this particular clip is mine. I bought it. This is not up for you to download for free. It is ©1983 Sony Music Entertainment Inc. according to the booklet in the Rockin 80s cd case.Remember these songs are property of the copy right holder and artists. If you want it, go pay for it! The only reason I am putting these up is to allow ya'll a small taste of my favorite music. I'll post a new song every few days and let you know the file name of the featured one with links to the lyrics and a place to download for MONEY...aka not free(which is illegal).
lyrics for this song @ Lyrics 007 Warning! This site has popups. Unless you have firefox or a good popupblocker. There is also a link for downloading the song. Looking at the link, I wouldn't trust it to be legal.
song download @ mp3.com This site is from Cnet. It has 3 options. Happy song hunting!
*Note: Sorry for all the trouble, you'll finally get to hear the song by following the My Music link above.* |

I told ya'll a while back about my secret 'passion'. Remember?? I said I like to draw. I have lost my art folder, but today I drew again. Had to gather some stuff first in order to have something to draw. This is the hummingbird from Pocahontas. The disney movie. The disney characters are my favorites to draw. I colored it with crayons. Crayola has some nice colors in it's 96 pack. I was disappointed that they didn't have the 120 that I usually get, but these are fine. The green is a gel crayon. I haven't messed with those before. The pinkish/red color is a metallic crayon: "big dip o' ruby". I love these names they come up with. The gel crayons have no actual color name. The label on the says Gel FX. Not many of those either...just the basics. All in all I am happy with the colors. I'll be shopping around for some 12 packs or so of these gel crayons. They go on smoother than the regular ones. Very nice!
This drawing is the first I've done in over a year. I've missed it. Without further ado:

Outlining the drawing with the crayons hides the pencil marks. I use only very sharp pencils to draw with. I actually use a light touch. This allows me to almost erace the pencil marks prior to actually tracing with the crayons. I didn't do that this time, I was impatient and wanted to color him he was so cute. Then I lightly shade with either crayons or colored pencil. I did this all in crayon. Combining both crayon and colored pencils gives a drawing extra color. The dark crayon outline and a small hint of color shaded with the pencils. I'll have to do one at another time. Right now, I'm rather fond of my crayons. Have fun! and don't forget to guess Steven's word of the day below. |

Steven's word today is 'weh'. Remember...he's only 2. The e has a soft sound...like eh.
Good luck...clues later if ya'll can't guess! |

Quiz stolen from Restless Angel The questions I found a little odd. Some of the answers weren't quite the options I wanted, but all in all I found myself satisfied with the card I got.

You are the Strength card. Strength occurs when we are able to work with our primal instincts. In Aleister Crowley's Book of Thoth, this card is called Lust. Lust can be thought of as the source of our inner power. Our desires, when firmly held, provide us with the energy and direction we need to achieve our goals. Strength relates to the practice of magick. Magick is the ability to use the will to alter reality in some way. In the strength card, we see a woman, by way of her gentleness and will, tame a wild lion. Her own inner capabilities have enabled her to perform this magickal feat. This is the kind of spiritual or primal strength that is indicated by this card. Image from The Stone Tarot deck.

All possible results for "Which Tarot Card Are You?"

Which Tarot Card Are You? brought to you by Quizilla |

Now that I have pulled myself out of my doldrums, there are new things I have found to say. As you all now there are many blogs I visit, and there are some on the sidebar. The sidebar ones on my site, like others', are there because they are my favorites. Which reminds me, there are a few to add. I haven't gotten around to it because I choose to put them in by hand. I know I can do the free blogroll thingy. Personally, for me, it's a little too impersonal for my favorites. Putting in the HTML myself allows me to put fun stuff with them. If you'll mouse over your own site, you'll notice that words pop up. There are words specially chosen. Now not all of them have words, but I'll find the right ones eventually.
I've got to say, there are some that just demand their place on my blogs to visit list. Not the people who own them of course, but my desire that others can enjoy the benefits of reading them. Many of them have helped me keep my sanity and sense of humor. I will be adding Lois Lane soon, and some of ya'll know who that is. I don't comment, but I get so much laughter from her every day. Truth be told, that one is the one that has helped me the most. Laughter is the cure for everything. Once I get the links up, I'll have to think of catchy words to describe them. You know, to represent why I feel others should visit also.
Another thing I wish to say is that I have found myself to be not so different from other people. In my likes, my dislikes, pet peeves, etc. Thinking about it, maybe the title should read: I am not alone. I am not the only person with bad parents. Of course I 'knew' that, but I didn't. That doesn't make sense, but oh well. I am not the only one who hated being pregnant. I love and wanted my kids, it was the pregnant part I did not find fun. Anyone telling you different is either in denial or never had morning sickness, back pain, stretch marks or a very long labor. I am not the only one who despises make-up, dresses, all that girly stuff. I may be a woman, but that doesn't mean I need war-paint. Nor do I need to wear skirts or dresses and have to worry about keeping my legs tightly closed all the time. I am not the only one who finds men's jeans not only more comfortable, but easier to buy and wear. It's so much easier to just grab a pair of pants of the shelves and know they fit. Ever try buying women's clothing? The size alone varies from label to label and style to style. A pair of size 12 that fits, just grab one of the same brand with a different style and find you need a size 18 or 8. Why do the clothing designers assume that all women are hourglass shaped. They're not. Besides, when we gain weight we don't all gain it in the same place. Some need a bigger butt in the pants, wider hips, smaller waist. AAHH!! The headache! Nor am I the only one who hates that her body bleeds once a month. I will be relieved when that's gone. It's not exactly cheap, you know. I am also not the only one who cannot wear a tampon, being too small for any brand to be comfortable. If I had had a natural birth with either of my boys, that might have changed, but it wasn't to be. Don't get me wrong, I like being a woman. I don't like being pigeon-holed into the place society likes for me to be. I am not the only woman who finds it very hard to find a bra that supports and fits and you can't 'pop' out of. Thanx to Tina for helping me find a place to buy those. Target is awesome! It's sad that it took me until I was 27/8 years old to find a bra I can wear. I'm not the only woman who wonders why some people like to have a string up their butt. I spent years as a girl trying to keep my underwear from riding up, I don't need something to wear something that does it on purpose now. I'm also finding that unless I'm wearing jeans or sweats I don't need underwear. Talk about freeing. Why is it that it's no big deal if men don't wear underwear, but if women don't they are considered...well we'll use the word wanton. I like that word, it's in a few of the new books from the library. Of course since I don't generally go anywhere, I'm almost always in my jammies. I love jammies. They have the best ones in the men's section at wal-mart. Yeah, I said men's section. They make flannel jammy pants. They are soooo soft and comfy. When I was pregnant, I wore them everywhere. Hell, nothing else fit. They only make maternity clothes for the stick people. I am not and have never been a stick people. My waist, from buying men's jeans, used to be 32", now it's 34". That's not really so bad, especially since I was over 200lb. after both boys. I need to find some kind of exercise that isn't quite like exercise. I detest exercise, it's boring! Need something fun for that. Anyway I guess I'm saying that there are many people out there that can relate to just about any aspect of my life I feel like writing about. Even if they don't understand, or have the same problem they can still understand.
Friends. Let's talk about them. True friends are hard to find. They like you for who you are. You don't have to pretend to be someone you're not. That is so very rare. I've been thinking. Most of us, probably, choose friends who are not like us. Each one will bring something different to the relationship. I mean how often do you see a group of friends that all of them are alike. I don't think that happens. Usually with a group there is a shy one, an outspoken one, one who takes no shit, one who can be a doormat. You get the idea. They all bring something different. It's not that they choose that person because of that, I think it's instinct. Also I think they help each other be more adaptive to their environment. The shy person will come out of their shell. The outspoken one will learn when to keep their mouth shut when appropriate. The one who takes no shit will learn that sometimes they need to. And especially, the doormat learns from the others to stand up for themselves and be who they need to be. Everyone benefits. All without knowing. They are all kindred spirits, they have many things in common, yet all have a different type of personality. In truth women do not have many true friends. They have a handful. A handful with which they can be their true selves. Able to share their worries, sorrows, happiness. No fear of any of them to be revealed. All is secret within that small circle.
For those who have never had this, I'll give you a look. My friends are now spread apart, but it is the same. There are no secrets in this little circle. All know each other's fears, trials, etc. There is never a fight over a boy. A boy cannot break this bond. If he ever tries, he is doomed. There is no future for him. Any good man would recognize this, for he has a small circle of his own. I guarantee all of these women have atleast once seen each other naked. Get your mind out of the damn gutter! There is sometimes comparison of size. Sometimes it's look at these stretch marks. Other things. It's nothing sexual at all. They get together and if one needs to change, there goes the group into the room so they can still talk before one has to leave.(like for work or something) Of course there is talk about boys. I know, I'm using the word boys, but for me these girls/women were there when I was a girl. Who's cute, who's interested. If ever a boy wanted to know if a girl likes him, all he has to do is ask her friend. Of course she won't answer, but the expression will give it away. There is talk of sex. This is where they actually get their sex education. Gotta realize that parents don't do very well for that. There is only speculation while they are still 'innocent', and then as expirience is recieved it is relived in all it's glory, or not so glory for all. Any boyfriend, husband...the girls know if he's a good kisser, if he pays attention to her 'readiness', if it's good for her. It's not a blow by blow detail kind of thing. It's more the ability to read her friends' expressions, words, and reading between the lines. This bond is something special. No one can put it together. No one can break it. If ever she needs it, they are there. No matter how many miles, how much time away. Not even death can break that bond. She will still be there in the memories they share. In the birth of their children. In all the achievements and sorrows. In their minds, they know what her advice and wisdom would be were she there to share it. They know. This small group of girls/women could be made up of sisters, of childhood friends, of schoolmates, of complete strangers who know each other only through writing. This special bond is something I wish for all of you to have. If you don't, one day you will find it. Everyone is special. Some people just take longer to see it. But first you must see it for yourself. This is what my group of friends did for me. No, not all of them are my sisters. My sisters are different. Each one with her own special place in my heart. My first group of friends are those who made me realize that I am special. They are my childhood friends and my classmates. I miss Billie most of all. I lost her damn cell phone number again! I know she needs me. I think the paper fell out of my pocket or something. I hope she looks in the phone book for me soon. I was never her 'best' friend, but that never mattered to me. I am not a jealous person by nature. God I wish she was here. Well, she kind of is. She lives about 30 mins away, I think.
For Billie: I'm sorry I got so caught up in my own life, I wasn't there when you had your babies. I'm sorry I wasn't there when Mike decided to be an ass. I'm sorry he wasn't the man we both thought he was. I'm sorry he's decided he doesn't want his children. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you figured it out. I'm sorry I wasn't there when your mother threw you aside in favor of him. Your sister too. You should have called me. I would have come. I would have put everything aside for you. I am sorry you are alone now. I wish you were here with me. I will be waiting for you to decide you're ready. I will help you. |

This will be the second post of the day. These thoughts won't leave my head. I need to write them down and maybe it'll help. Make sure to read the post below too. It'll help you understand.
Besides the reasons I have already given for the rejection of my father, there is another I have yet to voice. I need to give it a voice. Maybe then the voice will leave. I am afraid. Every encounter leaves me that much closer to being broken. There have been many, many times I have been too close to that edge. Each encounter only encourages me to go off the bridge into the lake. You see we had, until they remade it, a bridge with low sides. This is my rock bottom place. This is my fear. That I will one day find the courage to let go. Every time I leave I have been drug so low I feel that if I go, my husband can find a better wife, a better mother for my children. I am not good enough. I hate this feeling, but I can't shake it. I come away with shame. Not because I have given serious consideration to the idea, but that I am too cowardly to follow through. That my family deserves better. Someone stronger than I can be. I feel so alone. I can't shake it. It follows me everywhere. Into my nightmares. I have many. Too many. I am so afraid. I am shaken to the very core of my being. You can't imagine what it takes to pull myself from that hole. It's so hard to do.
You see, I'm afraid that the next encounter will leave me so shaken I'll find my courage and end it all. That is the power my father holds over me. I have no one to understand that. My husband thinks I'm silly to let him do that to me. I can't help it. It's not my fault. I feel fragile, cold and alone. I've spent so long being the one they bring their problems too, I can't find my way to release mine. I need it gone. Just this latest antic of my father has brought all of this back. I know I need to be strong. I don't know how to be. I have lost myself again. I'm so afraid. I lock myself up into my house. I won't even go check my mail. I am too afraid that my father will end up angry enough to show up at my door.
I feel guilt and shame. I did the best I could and still it wasn't enough. I don't have the strength left in me to help my sisters. I feel so lost. I don't know what to do. Not even my books can help me with that anymore. I'm afraid this will never end. I really do wish he would die. It'd be such a relief. I wouldn't have to be scared anymore. I know he can break me. I know, deep down inside, it would take just one more time. I can't go on like that. It needs to end. I wouldn't need to fear anymore. It would be such a relief. I wouldn't have to protect anyone from him anymore. It would be over. I know it's bad to think like that. Yes, I do feel guilty about it. It doesn't matter. That's the way it is. Knowing something doesn't change your emotions. I need to be strong again. I need this fear to go away. I don't know how to fix it. I don't think I can anymore. I've done my best. It's out of my hands.
I think I'm broken. |

What to say and how to say it? Grandma wrote me. She explains in her letter how she understands, but thinks I should forgive and forget. I guess I didn't make it clear enough. There have been only a few times in my entire life that I wasn't put down, etc. When my children were born, and when my father's family were within earshot. How can I make her understand that he has never stopped his behaviour? Even at Christmas I got the 'You're a bad mother' routine. What the fuck is that shit? I refuse to put my son in daycare, and that makes me a bad mom. Just because he's not around other children. My son is ready to now, but he wasn't before. I refuse to go get a job just to pay for daycare. My children will be in school doing work soon enough. Now is the time for them to play. They don't need daycare or preschool. They need to be babies. They need to run and laugh and play. My son knows a lot of things that preschool/daycare kids don't. Granted they know things he doesn't. I don't deny it. My children are healthy and happy, that's all that matters at this age. I called the Kindergarten where he will be attending. They told me he doesn't need daycare. They just ask that he knows how to hold a pencil and use scissors. My house may not be spotless, but it's not a health hazard.
The visit before Christmas I got the 'You're a bad wife' routine. How he would know whether or not it was true is beyond me. Just because I refuse to bow down and worship my husband's feet. I am not a slave. I refuse to be one. I won't be controlled or dictated to. My husband knew that when he married me, and doesn't wish me to be that way. I do take care of him. I know his needs before he does. Sometimes I have to push gently in one way or the other, but it helps him.
I won't put myself back into that. Throws me into a depression nearly everytime. It's not good for me. It's not good for my husband and kids. They don't need that, I don't need it.
I told my father what was required before I would come anywhere near them again. Something I have never demanded before. An apology from that woman...to my sister, and a guarantee that it would never happen again. I know what I did has far reaching effects. They were quite calculated. First and foremost either my sister would get an apology and a guarantee, or it would lessen her feelings of guilt. Why she's feeling guilty for removing herself from the situation, I'm not sure. I've done my best to lessen it anyway. It has forced both of them to actually be nice to little sister. She is the only one left that allows them near her. Grandma wrote that I probably don't realize that she has pain buried fairly deep. That's not true. I do know. I know the extent of it. I know it's buried. She will let me help her when she's ready. Not until then. This is the very best I could do for her. As far as I can tell, it's working. If it wasn't she would have called me in tears by now. My oldest sister does that too. She doesn't need me as much, but when she needs it, she tells me what she needs me to know. I help her with her pain. The effects for littlest sister, I'm not so sure of. I was hopeful that it would help her be a little braver and stand up for herself. To stop answering his phone calls and visits. She never had what the rest of us did. Close friends during our school years who accepted us for who we were. They had her so screwed up, she was unable to make friends. I am sorry for that. I couldn't help her. I didn't know how. I still don't know how. I am very sorry for that. It hurts. I had so many problems and ran interference for everyone else, I didn't notice as much as I should have. It's no excuse, it's just the way it was. It took me too long to realize what was going on. It took me until this incident with my oldest sister. I am ashamed. I should have known. My lie detector was going off in spades. I'm sorry. So very, very sorry.
I can't write anymore. I need a distraction, the kids are up and don't need to see me like this. |

Steven said this today and I had to seize the chance. I think I might be able to stump ya'll with this one. Word of the day is: ni-ee. Note: he stresses the last half with a higher pitch ;)

Hint: it's only one syllable. It can be used. (What it's used for I may say later, get crackin') |

My first ever Mother's day cards from the boys!

Happy mother's day to ya'll too. |

After my cartoons...guess where I'm going. {singsong voice}I'm going to the library...goin' to the library{/voice}.
Winx club showed the episode where bloom kicked darcy's butt. I hope they have a new season soon. They've rerun it all the way to the last episode.
They switched the order of my cartoons around. That was mean. Got up this morning and power rangers was on. AAHH! I detest that one. I can't believe kids like that one. Surely they would require a better show than that! I need my brain scrubbed after that.
W.I.T.C.H seems to be interesting at the moment. Tonight's cartoons will be better. Yeah! Full Metal Alchemist! New episode!

Mother's day is tomorrow. For those of you who have mothers who care...don't forget! |

Steven's word of the day is 'toi-eh'. It's one word, two syllables. It's an object. I'll give it a few guesses before the first clue.

Remember: Steven is 2 years old. You get to guess what he means when he says it. |

Se7en has a wonderful new haloscan comment thingy. Check it out. For those that don't know what I'm talking about, scroll to the bottom of his newest post and click on comment. He has a skulls thingy background and extra text on it.
I asked how he did it. I wonder if I should have asked. View source is only helping so much. Oh well, I really do need to figure out how to do this stupid CSS thing. I am also not good at tables. I think that's how you get the comments posted. I've gotta figure that one out. I have a perfect tile for the background to put in. I'll probably resize it to be smaller. I'll have to have someone test it for me. I have all popups come in tabs, so haloscan comes up in full screen for me. I suppose I could use IE. UGH! If I figure this damn thing out, we'll have a new comment box here. That and how to get it uploaded to haloscan too. Their directions confused me.
Off I go to try again. Sorry se7en...I so dearly love to learn. Otherwise I'd ask you to do it for me!

If at first you don't succeed...try, try, TRY AGAIN!
Damn that CSS crap! |

  First I'd like to say that the letter stuff was mailed on Tuesday sometime, so it should arrive today or tomorrow. If she chooses to tell my father about the letter, I'm fairly sure he's going to react. Hubby has assured me as long as I have the deadbolt locked he can't break down my front door. I'd feel better if I had a baseball bat. I have some knives though, they just don't have as far of a reach. Enough about that.
  I have a gifted nephew. By marriage...on my side they are far too young. He programs computers. He's gonna build me a speedy gonzalez one, I think. Just have to talk hubby into spending the money. I haven't been able to get any of our 3 games to play on here without freezing my computer. Risk II, Age of the Empires II, and Diablo II. You get so far and it just freezes. He was checking my RAM today. Apparently there are a few processes that are taking too much memory for what it shows or something. There's something not right in the CPU usage or something. Whatever, it's not like I know anything about this stuff anyway. He's gonna fix me up with extra RAM and a fast processor. He rolled his eyes at me over my reasoning for Firefox. Oh well, I love my tabs! He thinks I have a program running that's not showing up or something. Hooked me up with Spybot...got it from download.com, I think. Apparently it's the best for spyware and stuff. He says my ad-aware is a spyware item. Oh well, I need a gaming system! Gonna have a CD burner with Nero. Maybe I'll be able to burn pics. Something's up with my burner now. The drive takes forever to read whatever disc is in it. It's either going out or needs cleaning. I'm just gonna save this tower for when the kids need computer access. I'm sure XP will be outdated by then, but it'll be good enough to surf the internet and use Word. It's all they will need for schoolwork. Nephew graduated HS last year. He builds his own computers. Apparently has for years. Very smart kid. I'd have him teach me, but he's still a kid. Has a lot of 'stuff' to do. I won't ask him. Maybe I'll find some tutorials or something and learn on my own. |

And the winner is...Tina. She guessed Gown?Golashes?Glasses? Now, why my son would say golashes when I don't is beyond me. However the word is glasses. Every morning when I put my glasses on, he points, puts his little fingerprints right on the lenses and says 'gah-eh' 'aw'. Which means glasses on. LMAO!

Steven's word today is 'gah eh'. I'm not sure how easy this one will be to translate. So...a hint: it's an object.
Good luck!
Well, I did think I should give you both a chance to guess before I gave it away :P
Clue...He points at (said item) and says 'gah-eh aw' Which of course, I'm sure isn't that great of a clue.
Ok, now I'm laughing at ya'll. It really does start with a G. 'aw'=on. Oh and to try and give the word away...Steven doesn't pronounce the letter s. He can't make the sound of it yet.

This is getting hilarious. Ok, lets review. It is an object. He points at it and says 'gah-eh' (two syllables here) on. So we can presume it's something that can be put on. He doesn't pronounce the letter s. So he just skips them. We presume there is atleast one S in the word.
I'm gonna try one last time before I tell you. It's something I wear. It's not girl stuff, though. I put it/them on every morning. After I do, he points or touches said item and says 'gah-eh' on. This is so much fun for me! |

...to Harry Potter. With the first three books, I was merely fascinated. After reading numbers 4 and 5, I'm very sure I'm now addicted. With number 4 I was fighting sleep to keep reading. It's so hard for me to get sleepy, yet I was still trying to read. After finishing number 5 about an hour ago, I wanted to throw a tantrum. I want book number 6! And...I want it now. These things get better and better. I'm sooo addicted to Harry Potter books, it's not funny. I'll be searching Amazon for the next one. I'm fairly sure it hasn't been released yet, but I haven't checked. I hate paying full price for a book, also, I want my collection to be the same. I have the paperbacks. I wonder if I can contain myself to wait for it to be released or go for the hardback anyway. The agony. My shannara series are all different sizes and it drives me nuts. Oh well, the price I pay for my obsessions.
...to Disney movies. I thought I'd add this in case you didn't know. I watch them all. I do wait for them to come out on video and rent them on $1 night at the store. Mulan2 was the last one I saw. It was awesome!
...to cartoons. Many many cartoons.
and so on and so forth. I want the next Harry Potter book, right now!!
*update*Harry Potter book 6 isn't going to be released until July 16th. UGH! I'd preorder and get it delivered that day, but I want it in paper back. Anyone know what library binding is? |