Got the idea for this today when, not for the first time, I had to tuck myself back into the one I'm wearing today. Why can't they make one that is comfortable, pretty, and will fit me?
I want to pull my hair out! AAAAHHHH!!!! Bra makers are evil! Buy an ugly one, it won't fit. Buy an expensive one, it won't fit. Buy a sexy one, it won't fit. If it isn't the straps that fall off all the time, yes I know they adjust, one or both of my 'ahems' pop right out. I am jealous of small 'ahemmed' women. (I am using ahem because I find this amusing.)
Sports bras suck! They flatten you, which is painful. They do NOT work. Your 'ahems' still bounce. More painful. I have to say though, they are less painful than regular bras if you run. That time of the month makes it worse. The 'ahems' are so much more prone to pain. Am I the only woman who expiriences this?
If you're pregnant, no bra will ever fit properly. They lied to you when they said on the label, that bra would support your extra heavy 'ahems'. (O.K. Now I'm giggling, I like this ahem thing.) I don't know why women say they loved being pregnant. For me, it sucked. Besides the whole miscarriage thing (see the about me post) baby was heavy, my back hurt, my hips hurt, couldn't lay on my back. I spent so much time in the obgyn's office, cuz other women were having their babies. Not Fair! I was crying after 15 minutes. My bones hurt! My husband and I were there for an hour and a half. Poor guy, he tried to feel bad for me, he just didn't understand. This is why I have stripes on my 'ahems' now. Because they were too heavy and I could not find a bra to fit. Popped out of everyone I bought. Can you say 'let's rip off pregnant women, it'll be fun', they charge $50 per bra.
I even tried Victoria Secrets' bras. Okay, only one. Advertised as their most comfortable one. I don't wear it. Pop out. I don't even wanna see my 'ahems', no one else needs to. Have you ever tried to find a non-underwire bra that you don't pop out of? Impossible. I hate underwire. They dig into my skin.
I can hear it now, those evil bra makers. (evil accented voice)'Ha Ha Ha Ha, Suffer fool. How you like me torturing you every day. You should have been smarter than that. Why you think women didn't wear them way back when.' Of course back when was corsets. Ever wonder why the ladies fainted all the time? They couldn't breathe.
I think I'll start using the word ahem just to confuse my husband. It'll be fun.
Drop a note, tell me your worst bra horror story, besides the one where you buy your first one. |