I got my book! I got my book! {visualize appropriate happy dance here.} What this means to me: I have all three books of 'The Voyage of the Jerle Shannara' by Terry Brooks. I had the first and the third. It aggravates me greatly to read out of sequence. Zooba took 'Antrax' off their book list before I was to get it. {visualize appropriate rage dance here} So I read the third and last book 'Morgawr' and was thoroughly confused. I had read 'Antrax' once, and can generally remember. I have a photo-like memory, but I only read it once, not 10 times as I usually do. At the time I read it, the library didn't have 'Ilse Witch' the first book. Now I will re-read to my hearts content. So, by the weekend, probably all 3 books each day, sometimes twice. Book Report probably going to be up sometime this weekend.
What this means to you: I won't be posting or reading my usual blogs as often, probably just once a day. I am compulsive about some things. MUST READ is one of them. See ya, will let you know how it progresses.
Oh, Bill's day at work was, quote 'fine'. I'm interpreting for you. 'I had a good day at work. No one was rude or gave me dirty looks. I like my new job, a lot.' Ooh, I may become a decent housewife yet. I might just be able to drag my ass out of bed by 6am each morning and maybe fix him breakfast. LMAO! I did do dishes today, yeah! me. Laundry maybe tomorrow. Have fun with my new quote. |

New job day! Husband gets to start his new job today! In fact, he's already left this morning. No more restaraunt, dock installing/building (i think). He is going to a place where he will be respected with no snide remarks and dirty looks.
Upside: He will be coming home happy. He will actually have a job he likes again.
Downside: I have to get up earlier. Get paid 8/hr instead of 11/hr. Not much to it here. Only real downside is mine, so who cares? His well being matters a whole hell of a lot more than my getting up a couple hours early. Yes, I was awake at 6am. I actually fell asleep at midnight last night instead of 2or4am. I got 6 hours of sleep, I should be wired!
Oh my, starting to make it about me. We can't have that today now can we? If I didn't think he'd roll his eyes and be embarassed, I'd be tempted to throw a party for him. It's been so long since he enjoyed his job. When I met him in July 1998, we married in October (we decided to get married in August. LMAO), He loved his job. He loved to cook. He loved to be on the line. Even though he knew he would never make great money at it, he still did it because he loved it so much. Well, it's 2005, I think that's 7 years and a few restaraunts later, he hates to cook. So much so, that this last one, he wasn't even trying. Nor was he bothering to make the plates look nice. He no longer cared. I feel so bad for him. He had a passion for cooking for others. Every (mexican) restaraunt he would go to he was hired on the spot always for a high price. Everywhere he went he had some customers follow. Some didn't realize he was there until their food tasted and looked better. Amazingly enough, they went back to the kitchen to say hi to Bill. Yes, they could tell from the food on their plate that he was there. There was this one couple I remember. We used to fix their food and go out and chat with them at the table. My husband worked at that restaraunt longer than I. (I stay home with my kids, other reasons too.) This same couple still is excited to see him even if it's at the store. When we went to the Chiefs game last year, we had to stop for gas on the way. The husband of the couple was at the same gas station, out of town, he was very excited to see my husband. The wife of the couple used to order rellenos. She didn't like the outer coating. So, Bill is always the one to make this kind of thing, when he made his four cans, he stuffed them with the cheese and laid 2 or 3 off to the side. Depending on what time of year it was. Just for her. It's not like they were daily customers, just good ones, regulars. She drinks rum and coke with a lime twist, I still remember. One of the restaraunts begged him to come back, the cook he trained for them had left to go to KC, he asked what was to be paid. They said same as before, 600/wk salary, year round. They fired him after 1 paycheck. He 'screwed' up their kitchen. Yeah even the customers, purveyors, distributor reps knew better. Even the guy who services all the dishwashers in the area was shocked. He was angered on Bill's behalf. This guy, we've met a few times, is very funny, hyper, but fairly laid back; like hard to piss off. I found that one funny. We figured they just didn't want to pay him 600/wk. Hell they could have paid him 500. Idiots. So, now he doesn't enjoy cooking. This saddens me. I hope I gave you a look inside of who he is. At least as far as work goes. This way you can understand why I feel like there should be a celebration today. |

Getting to Know me. (Stolen from inky's site today.)
1. What time did you get up this morning?
• Husband let me sleep in, around 9am. He's so sweet.
2. Diamonds or pearls?
• Neither, I don't wear fancy stuff
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
• That christmas train one, it was bad. I wanted a cartoon, it wasn't
4. What is your favorite TV show?
• Medium on NBC
5. What did you have for breakfast?
• I don't eat breakfast
6. What is your favorite food?
• Anything that requires dipping in my homemade Hidden Valley Buttermilk Ranch dressing
7. What foods do you dislike?
• I'll eat anything. But, I don't like liver, cooked bell pepper or onions, cranberry jelly
8. What is your favorite CD at the moment?
• The one I mixed from my Bon Jovi cds, With all my favorites on it of course
9. What kind of car do you drive?
• 2000 Neon
10. Favorite Sandwich?
• Peanut butter with pickles, honey, and chips on it. NO JELLY!
11. What characteristics do you despise?
• Hypocrites! Those idiots who want to force their religion down my throat. News Flash! I've told you many times, there is no god! (not knocking other peoples beliefs, it's just not mine)
12. Favorite item of clothing?
• My Mickey Mouse shirts
13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation - where would it be?
• Never thought about it. Probably will never get to
14. Ever unwrapped a starburst with your tongue?
• I'm not that talented. I am very good with my hand though ;)
15. How many keys on your keychain?
• I have more key rings than keys, I collect them religiously
16. What did you do yesterday?
• Same thing I do everyday. Visited my favorite blogs, watched cartoons, read a book, played with my kids.
17. Last time you cried?
• When my dad was an ass, whatever day it was I posted my assholes post.AAAHHHH! still want to scream.
18. Is your house clean?
• No
19. Favorite time of the year?
• Fall. Down here after the FTs leave the trees get gorgeous colors on them
20. What color is your bathroom?
• Plain
21. Where would you retire?
• Never thought about it. Somewhere nice with no humidity
22. Favorite time of day?
• When my kids nap, or when my cartoons are on around 11pm central time take your pick
23. What did you do on your last birthday?
• Cried, yet another day no one noticed and showed me how much they don't care. Been happening my whole life, I suppose I should be used to it by now
24. Favorite sport?
• Softball, hands down. I was very good as a teen. I was a catcher, we got to steal bases. I threw the ball from being on my knees in a beeline to second base. The pitcher had to throw herself on the ground or get hit. I got tendonitis in my elbow, because I was doing it only with the first half of my arm. I can also hit the ball exactly where I want it to go, it's just a matter of adjusting your feet. Ahhh the memories. We do have a women's league, and I would like to join. My kids would need a babysitter and their daddy home at x-time though. Maybe when they are older.
25. Who do you least expect to send this back to you?
• Tina will probably do it on her site, I assume this went the e-mail route for this question to be on here.
26. Person you expect to send it back first?
• see above
27. What fabric detergent do you use?
• Tide
28. Coke or Pepsi?
• Gross...Mountain Dew, coke and pepsi burn my throat.
29. Are you a morning person or night owl?
• Night owl, I think I just wasn't meant to be awake before noon
30. Do you have any pets?
• just some fish, my kids like to watch them
31. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with your family and friends?
• No, my life is boring. My 2yr might finally start to potty train though
32. What book are you reading?
• My whole bookshelf. (about 40 books) I read fast and I need a new book. I should go visit the library again.
33. Where is your second home?
• nowhere, I stay home and for the most part I'm happy to do so. I can't wait till the kids go to school. Then I can get a job and be productive again.
34. Favorite flowers?
• Plastic, I'm allergic to most flowers. Except roses, besides plastic/silk flowers last longer
35. Who do you miss most?
• Mouse, I wish she would visit again.
36. Last place you visited?
• My grandparents in Scott's Bluff, NE. Kids were sick, so I didn't get to visit much
37. What are you listening to right now?
• Stupid movie husband rented. TV is next to my puter. UGH! Atleast I'm not whining about it right?
38. Last person you talked to on the phone?
• My sister, about what a jerk my dad was to her. Grrr I'm still pissed
39. Are you in love with anyone?
• Well, my husband of course. He's so sweet. I'm spoiled and don't do near the housecleaning I should. How can I not?
40. Favorite thing to do on the weekends?
• Talk my husbands ear off. It's my only means of adult conversation. He tunes me out, but I do it too. He listens when necessary :)

|

In general, I'm healthy as a horse. I don't get sick. Once a year I get the flu. I don't even catch my kids' colds. My punishment for this is my year 'round sinuses and later in life I will get type 2 diabetes. It runs in my family, there is no avoiding it. (A side note, I made a comment over at Jay's. No I didn't mean I have what you have. I can't sleep at night because my brain refuses to shut off. I thought maybe caffiene works for some with add, and their brain does that, so maybe it would shut my brain off. Otherwise, I focus well and am definitely not add.)
Medicine works differently for me than it does most people. I drink coffee in the morning. One would think, like everyone else, it wakes me up. No, I drink it in hopes that one day it will do so. So, in my search for sinus medicine, I've tried pretty much every thing on the shelves. I don't usually buy it. Wouldn't you like to know why. No? I'm going to tell you anyway. Daytime sinus makes me sleepy. Night time makes me zippy, yes zippy frantic, kind of like speed. I've never actually done speed, it's been described. I have an awesome immune system. So much so, in fact, that I am immune to any sinus medication by the third dose. As I have year 'round allergies, you can imagine this sucks. Once in a great while I do come across one that will work for a week or two. This is why I won't go to a doc and try to get a prescription medication. It's expensive, and it probably won't help me for more than a week. Right now, Tylenol sinus has been working. Alavert works better.
A little background. Since I was 11 or 12 I've had sinus allergies. When I was pregnant with Mikel, my first, my sinuses suddenly stopped acting up. Your body changes with and after each pregnancy. This was a great thing. A whole year and a half with only occasional sniffles. Then comes Steven. While I was pregnant, my sinuses did act up, but not all year 'round. Steven is born, lo and behold my sinuses run amok again. However, since I have found Tylenol and Alavert to still be working at the end of the boxes I am hopeful I won't develop an immunity to them.
It's weird to have to explain to people that my sinus medication isn't working. They think I'm nuts. I'm like look, I took that shit not an hour ago. It ain't working. I almost always finished the stupid box, in hopes it would start working again. I don't know how many times I used to walk into the kitchen I worked in, and they asked me if I was high. I was 16 and never touched anything until 19. Those days are over, I did my partying in 2 years and was done. My eyes were almost always bloodshot. So were their's, but that is a whole 'nother story. Maybe I'll start telling antecdotes about being all you can be in a restaraunt. I'll probably tell you the one about that night I really was all in the restaraunt, except owner and bartender. Man, that was one crazy, frantic night. I don't know how not to work, if I'm being paid.
I think I'm weird. I'm probably not the only person who's ever developed immunities to sinus medication, but I haven't ever heard of one. Benadryl aka diphenhydramine still doesn't work. There was another but I don't remember what it is. hmm. I hope I never have an allergic reaction. I'll probably be screwed. They'll try giving me benadryl. LMAO! |

So, today I'm bored. Almost no one is putting up new posts. Shame on you all. LMAO! Yes Tina, my morning cartoons are over and I have to wait until 4:30pm to get a decent cartoon! Makes me want to pull my hair out. I remember the days when I could get cartoons all Saturday long. (This is after age 18, we didn't have tv growing up. It probably explains why I watch Inuyasha every night and am obsessed over my Saturday night Cartoon Network ones.) Sundays are for football, I want to catch them on saturday, not have to watch reruns. So, in my boredness, I have reread blogs atleast twice today. No one is posting, but there are many new comments. I have to say they get funnier as they go on. The ones over at Jack's are, by now hilarious. I keep rechecking to see how much funnier it will get. I know Jack's not dead, I know he's ok. I found that site, through jay, and ended up at trahsman's site. So after the one post that hinted at the possibility of losing his job everyone got worried. However, jack posted in comments over at jay's that night I think, and I thought it was very funny. The comments on jack's site are very funny and worth the read. Not the ones where everyone tells him, yadda yadda come back please (I did it too.), the ones with Mitch and Big Sexy's names. What I want to know, is if it really was them. It could have been anyone. I think if it wasn't them, it probably was jay or trash or even jack. This is what keeps me going back to the comments even though the site's been shut down for so long. I've noticed some of the commenters there think he's not ok. Obviously they aren't jay or trashman readers. Getting to the point. So I need more reading material. I've been systematically visiting the people on Restless Angel's list. So, I've been to the site of the lady whose father died. I do feel bad for her, it does look to be a promising blog for my dose of funny. I also went to 2 more. I'm not going to start naming names, because most don't even know I visited. I usually wait a while to comment. I tend to obsess and dole out advice where it's not needed or wanted. I have to restrain. That and I don't really like to echo what other people say. You know, that was a beautiful poem, nice painting. That one site did have some nice paintings. I actually did start to comment on seven's site. I've actually been a few times. It's fairly amusing. I don't get the 'poink' thing though. I have yet to dig through the archives. Another day maybe. Point to the story, I found a funny quiz. I didn't even have to steal it from tina! So, I'm gonna die at 69? It's fairly unlikely. My family generally lives well past 90years old. I did find it amusing though. |

So, I have a lot of time on my hands when the kiddies are supposed to nap, but don't. I have been back and forth between a few blogs today. (I really need a new book.) Last night there was a post on Restless Angel's blog about giving her friend words of support. Her friend's dad died of cancer. I want to say I'm sorry for your loss, it sucks, it'll get better. There's nothing really you can say to make things better. I really want to say, I'm so glad you had a father who loved you. Feel special that he wanted you and didn't make you feel worthless. Tina know's what I'm talking about, I've posted a few times about my father's assholeness. This last time it was the last straw. I will not allow him to treat my sister in that way. I refuse. I've only really said something about my mother in the About me post. It's in the January Archives, for the curious. I didn't really expand on it as well as I did with my father. This is because I have no contact with her.
When my parents were together, my mother did almost nothing to take care of us. I have memories of around age 5. My dad threw a cast iron skillet at her head, he missed and no, I don't know why he did, I was 5. My dad also threw our tv out the front door. Yes, he really did and yes it broke. Never again was there ever a tv in our house. He says she was lazy and didn't do anything. I was too young to really remember much from that time. A good friend of the family, who doesn't lie, was telling me she used to cringe at the thought of visiting us. My mother didn't change our diapers until right before dad came home. (Remember, people can't lie to me without me knowing it.) Thus, diaper rash from hell.
Next, one day we were met at the end of school by mom. We were taken to a motel. We asked where dad was and when he was coming. She lied to some people to get us into a free hotel room about him beating us. Trust me, even that young it's something you can remember. I was around 9, older sister is 2yrs older than me, little was 4, littlest was not yet 1. I think I'm fairly accurate for the ages. I was in 5th grade and my b-day is at the end of the school year in April. Hell, maybe it was 3rd or 4th. It was the start of my 6th grade year that I clearly remember being at dad's. Little sister started kindergarten that year, her birth year is 1981. Littlest would be turning 1yr when we lived with dad full time. A lot of stuff went on during that time. Before the divorce was final we were living with dad in the summer before the start of the next school year. When we were with mom, this was before dad got custody, She had no job. She really is lazy. We were in HUD housing. We had no food. Oldest remembers this period of time the most clearly. She remembers feeding the rest of us flour and water pancakes most of our meals. I remember I got so sick that I couldn't walk or stand up, I never saw a doctor. I have since then figured out it was a bad ear infection and lost my balance for 3 days. Dad showed up every weekend to take us to visit him. My mother had us so damn scared we didn't want to go. This is before he started his crap with us. We used to stand at the window crying telling him we didn't want to go. He did insist that we tell him not her. He turned around and left, showed up the next weekend. I am aware, that every time the custody had to be refiled, he'd race to the courthouse and try to beat her to it. This is how we ended up with him. After that, she came to visit us one time and called us one time. The only time she called was to tell us that 'God' told her she must give up custody. 'Bullshit' detector goes off like crazy. The one time she came to visit, was to visit older sister, cuz she was having a hard time. She was a teenager, we all know what that's like. After that we had no phone calls, no cards. Littlest sister was around 1yr so it wasn't so bad for her. Little sister was old enough. She cried for a FUCKING year not understanding why her mommy didn't want her. Cried herself to sleep every night. My dad went around calling mom a cunt. That word is not allowed around me. I'm cringing even as I wrote it. That is the last time you will ever see it here. I did finally tell him to stop, and he did.
On with the story, a little background with dad is needed. That's the purpose of this paragraph. The stepmom is the only mother I knew. She was a bad mom, and a bad stepmom. My father has no excuse for what he did. He worked his ass off to feed all 9 of us, and was hardly ever home. He didn't notice things even when he was there. This has since been pointed out, forgiven stuff done. Repeated it with new wife this christmas and will no longer be tolerated. My father, my whole life, told us we were stupid, dumb, worthless, not good enough. He is the reason I learned to lie through my teeth while looking someone in the eye. That is also the reason it's hard to lie to me without my knowledge. There was some beating going on during this time. Nothing that scarred for life. Not near as bad as a lot of kids who are beaten. I make no claim there. Enough about that, you'll have to scour the archives if you want a better picture, I don't want to talk about it right now.
During my life my sisters and I have tried to keep contact with my mom. One year for mothers day my littlest sister made something. She wanted dad to deliver it to real mom so he did. During that time, she actually had a job. So, come to find out she's pregnant. Yeah, I said pregnant! Enough to be very noticeable. He's honest and tells us. What's so shocking about this, is I had a friend, who died when we were in HS, that knew about it. She promised my mother she wouldn't tell us. Her daughters were not supposed to know we were going to have a little brother. On with the freak show. In jr. high school mouse and I occasionally attended a football game. This was more an excuse to be in town than at the game. Mouse is stepsister, not real, doesn't matter I miss her. We found out through other people where my mother was. We visited. My mother told me her boyfriend and father of the child, Kevin, did not want her kids around. Yeah, she said that. After a couple of visits, Kevin was there once. I asked him about it. He looked at me like I was nuts. He said there's no way he'd do that. In case anyone wants to know, Kevin is dead and his 2 kids by my mother have no father, we're getting to that. Fast forward, I've had enough of dad's shit and move out around 16-17yr old. Don't make enough money to rent while I'm still in HS so I end up living with mom. She is a terrible house keeper. Dishes would pile up with mold on them. She would get food and eat it all, not sharing with anyone. Yes, I mean her kids too. Reference for you, I refer to my half brother and sister as her kids. As she has no idea of our birthdays and doesn't care to acknowledge us unless we come around. So we are what ever and those are her kids. Quick point, my mother frequently gets pissed off at oldest sister if she is late with chris' b-day. Now, chris was born on oldest sister's 16th birthday. For the life of her, my mother cannot remember that she had her fifth child on the same day that she had her first child. One cannot really understand this, I certainly don't. At the time I was living with her I did graduate from HS. All my graduation money she stole. She took it to walmart and bought toys and games the kids didn't need. This was around $800. I wouldn't have cared if she would have bought the kids clothes or food. Most of my money from work went to car insurance, car payment and groceries. I wanted the kids to have food. Never mind how I got out of the mess, but I did move out. Before she'd get anything that resembled something her kids needed she bought her weed for the month. So, not enough money for weed, no food/clothes for the kids. She was on welfare. She lived in HUD housing. She went to food drives, there was one every sunday. I forgot to mention, when in my senior year, Kevin died. His kids did not go to the funeral. My mother did not tell them he was dead. I had to tell this 3 and 5 year old their daddy died and wasn't coming back. See, Kevin was on the road a lot, so it's entirely possible the kids wouldn't know for a very long time.
Fast forward a bit. I got married. The next summer, husband and I arranged to have the kids for the day. He had a seadoo, we live at the lake, wanted the kids to have fun. Went to pick them up. I have a key, but front door was open. Push the door open. Place smells, looks abandoned. There was dog shit dried in piles on the floor as far as the eye could see. No one in sight. Go across the way to Jenna's. Jenna tells me stuff. Jenna, who is working and on welfare has no money, is feeding my mother's kids. She is making my little sister stay in that dog shit filled house, for doing stuff. Sometimes it was something she wasn't supposed to do, most of the time it was something her brother did. You get the idea, the house is trashed and a health hazard, the kids have no food, they aren't allowed to bathe unless she feels like running a bath, they aren't allowed into the downstairs bathroom so the little 7 year old isn't even allowed to brush her hair. Anyway, we did pick up the kids. They had lice and filthy clothes. My 7yr little sister peed her pants in my car because she was afraid to tell me she had to go. We stopped at walmart. These kids have enough trouble, you know how kids on a bus can be cruel to kids that can't help their situation. So I stayed in the car with them. We got new clothes, new underwear and socks, lice shampoo and the spray stuff for upholstery. I showed each child how to run the bath water. At this age, kids can run their own bath. Poor jessi, she really did want to be clean and have combed hair, she just wasn't allowed too. Chris had an infected cut on his toe. I have no idea why he hadn't seen a doctor, they have free medical care, she just has to walk a little ways to get them seen. I am very angry, I still am at this time. I still want the beat the holy fucking shit out of her. I want to kill her, actually, the kids would be better off. Yeah, I said that shit about my own mother. I mean it too. Sad isn't it. DFS has been out there since. She never lets them in, they never bother to try. I was pondering taking them away, but without DFS to back up the story and I had no pictures we were pretty much screwed. Even my laid back, never gets pissed off, husband was shaking with rage over this. She's lucky I gave her fucking kids back. The only reason I did is I didn't want to go to prison. My mother knew about the birth of my kids. She has never seen them. I will not expose that woman to my kids. She doesn't believe any of that stuff happened. She makes up her own realities. To this day I want to do serious harm. I know myself, I'd lose my temper. I have lost my temper only twice. When it happens, I have no control over myself. In fact, I don't even recall what happened each time. I have been told though. Since I have no control once my temper snaps, I figure it's wiser not to have any contact with her. And I'm ok with that. She never acted like my mother. She has on occasion tried to tell me I owe her because she gave birth to me. She has lied to me ever since I can remember. The truth is beyond her. She doesn't tell truths. She only tells lies. I won't allow that kind of influence on my children. She will never see them, until they are old enough to be able to understand about lying. And maybe be able to withstand the many disappointments that come along with her lies.
It's sad, my husband's parents are dead. He has a stepmom, and she's very nice. My kids' only grandma. Yes, I will still let my kids see my father. With supervision. I want to make sure they are safe. No I don't trust him. So they aren't completely without grandparents, but I fear the day that he tells them they are stupid and worthless. I know he will. He still does it with every one of his daughters. All of us. I can only hope my husband can prevent it. Now I really want to cry. I'm not sure I will. They are there, but they aren't falling. Maybe I can't cry over it any more. Sad. |

About me and what made me who I am today. I can't sleep, I can't seem to shut my brain off. This is why I have trouble sleeping most nights, scenarios run through my head and I can't seem to make them stop. So now, if you wish you get to read a little about me.
My first memory of life is hiding under a blanket with my little sister in her car seat. My mom had to go get my sister at the bus stop. She was in kindergarten and we had a long gravel driveway. That and there was a supposed to be a tornado coming our way. I'm sure there never was one, we lived in a valley and they skip them. So my father says. My older sister loved school. She came home and taught me what she learned. I pissed of my 3rd grade teacher because I refused to do long-hand division. It made no sense to me why I must do this, since there were no flaws in my short hand. We came to a compromise: she quit getting mad over it and accepted that I was a little ahead of my classmates. More on school later. When I was in 2nd grade, I think, my mom picked us up from school one day. We went to a motel. We were confused. Where was daddy and why can't he come get us? My mom is nuts. She has her own reality life. More on this later also. Fast forward. We start to live in an apartment complex in town. You know the kind, one of those the government pays you to live in. My mother had us so scared of our father, we would refuse to visit him. Never the less, this man showed up to bring us to his house every weekend. Without fail and respecting our decision not to go. I have no idea how this happened, but fast forward to living now at dad's. Get a phone call, it's mom. She said "God spoke to me, I must let you all live with your father." Bullshit! (This is where you'll get an idea of why I hate bible thumpers, the ones who want to force their religion onto me and everyone else.) Years later, I saw those divorce papers. She fought for my older sister. My sister got every weekend, holiday and all summer. The other three of us got the standard every other and 2wks of the summer. I'm not and never was upset with my sister over that, just my mom because she lied yet again. So, here we are the 4 of us moved in with our father and his new girlfriend. First time I met her son, he hit me with a wiffle ball bat. Yeah, he's lucky they saw me chasing him, I got punished. Man, that woman was as good a liar as my mother. We were taught to eat our food, all that's on your plate, and be thankful we had it. One time I remember clearly, I got in trouble for throwing 'my' pbj sandwich on the ground because I didn't want it. Yeah, you know, those 2 in my stomach. What really happend was her spoiled daughter and son threw them on the ground and my dad saw it when he got home. God forbid these children ever do any wrong. This woman actually had 3 kids, but she never paid much attention to the middle one. Let's call her 'Mouse', I still call her that, if she ever reads this she knows who wrote it and who she is. I love her, wish she was here, I miss her. Let me define 'in trouble' for you. Picture in your mind very clearly: shovels, picks, anything that can be construed as a digging implement. (missouri's ground is made of limestone and very little dirt, hence the picks.) We dug a pond. Yes it was pond size until it rained enough to fill it back in after most of us had moved out. We also dug underneath the house when it was cold. It isn't a crawlspace anymore, you can almost stand up straight under there. When you were in trouble, you woke up, had 30 min to eat breakfast and your ass better be done with your chores and started on digging. You were allowed 5 mins there and back for potty breaks. (Good thing she could jump back fast, or I would have broken that woman's nose. She smacked me once cuz I wasn't taking her shit. I know it takes no more than one minute to pee, but I refuse to have to wipe with dirty hands. She never raised her hand to me again.) Guess what your meals were. Oh yes, we had very good reasons not to be in trouble. Yes the 5yr olds were expected to dig too. It was ok, we made sure that when the nosey ones were looking the little ones couldn't be seen. Meals: anything they could think of that a kid wouldn't eat. Like broccoli, brussel sprouts, okra. You had 30 minutes to eat. If you finished your bad meal, you were allowed to eat what was on the table. I still eat 2 plates of food in less than 10 minutes. I got the last laugh on that stupid woman. There was nothing I would not eat. Let me tell you frozen okra heated in the microwave is gross if you don't drain the slimy stuff of it. Guess who figured that one out. Me and my step brother were in trouble a lot. I was no angel, but I did not do even half the stuff I was said to have done. We did go to school and stuff. We were allowed to do our homework after dark. Some scenarios: The woman's Oldest daughter could do no wrong, therefore, whenever she did something it was my, and if it was within the sister's power her little sister Mouse's, fault. 6 girls one bedroom. 1 boy in another. Yeah it sucked. I did so much laundry. I cleaned so much house. Our chores were go outside, feed the animals get back in wash up go to school. Come home, go outside feed the animals clean house do laundry do whatever was on that woman's mind. In summer came the garden. I will never have one. I will not weed. I refuse. To this day I will not clean my bathroom, my husband understands it, he's great about it. Yeah, I wasn't beaten. So what, that is not the only thing that can scar a kid. You should be careful about what you say to your kids. Your kids worship you. Nothing will make me go off faster than somebody saying I'm stupid. I grew up hearing it. I'm smart. I can spell almost any word sight unseen. I took 3rd place in my school spelling bee in 7th grade without ever looking at the list. No, I wasn't the smartest kid in school, I didn't even try out, it was an english assignment and the teacher insisted. I am shy, I do not do well in front of people/large groups. It did get me out of working my ass off that day though. Thank god for sports, I may never have survived. If you tell someone they are stupid long enough, they start to believe. I made life long friends in sports and school. I don't see them much. There weren't many. Like maybe 7. The friends I did make didn't care how much my family didn't make, what clothes I didn't wear, and forgave me for all my stupid moments. Yeah I said stupid moments. I am not stupid but I have done a few stupid things.
Apparently this story isn't gonna be as linear as I thought it was going to be. Back to my mother. Can you guess how many times she ever called us? Just that once to tell us she was giving up. Those were her words. She came by to visit twice. Each time for my older sister. My littlest sister was around 1yr so she didn't really notice. I am very resentful for this as that stepmom was her only mother figure. She could never be good enough. She was really screwed up. She still is. She got so bad she was sent away to live in a home for troubled kids. She wasn't doing drugs or crimes. She just pissed us off so bad, we'd probably would have beat the crap out of her. Many, many times. There's nothing like someone who knows how to push your buttons and delights in doing so. My father has an explosive temper. This is dangerous around him. He never did beat her though. I will give a little background on his quirks later. My sister is now married, but I can see she's still affected, I still remind her she's not stupid. Next sister: She was 4or 5. Kindergarten the next year. She broke my heart. She cried for a year, not understanding why her mommy didn't want her. I don't understand her, she has forgiven my mom and even lets her baby sit. Me: I was around 12 or so. I know it seems like gaps, but I'm unsure about the times. I was just angry. My dad was always calling her the 'c' word. I actually had to be very angry to my husband once to get this point across, you do not say that word. Dad finally figured it out, to this day that word does not come out of his mouth. I am not exposing this woman to my children. There will be enough disappointments in life without her helping. I am relieved she moved back to Minnesota. My oldest sister: this was hardest on her. she was in jr high. Missy, yeah that's her name, is stepmom's oldest daughter(I almost broke her nose, but she turned her head. She knew better than raise her hand to me.) My sister and Missy never liked each other. I guess they had met previously in school. Missy went out of her way to make my sister's life hell in school and everywhere else.
We all had jobs at 14, this was required of us. Great way to get out of the house. I remember one time, when I was due at work by 5pm. Stepmom had no one to bitch at that day, she had done something stupid and pissed my dad off. Yep, it was me I did it, whatever it was. That was the day I mowed the front lawn with a pair of scissors. They left to go do something and the neighbors across the street showed me how to work their weed eater and how to refill the gas. (They had noticed what I was doing and asked me what the hell I was doing.) Boy did I get in trouble for using that weed eater. Hey if it would have kept me out of her hair, I would have been more than happy to use scissors. I had to go to work, I wasn't allowed to go till I was done with the lawn. You can't cut that much grass with a pair of scissors in 2 hours. I was not going to lose my job over this. I'm lucky those people liked me so much. I had to call the restaraunt on a saturday night and tell them I couldn't work. They were already busy and couldn't call anyone else in. When I go to my job I work. I refuse to get paid to stand around. If there's no customers, I clean. People hate me because of this. I have taught each of my employers the value of not paying people to stand around. In that place I went from busser to dishwasher to cook to waitress. I did all of that one Saturday night. I would have made real good money too, but one of those witches that think they know how to wait tables stole my money. Hey, I couldn't keep a close eye on it, when I wasn't taking orders or taking out the food, I was cooking them. Customers have this amazing ability to be patient if you are upfront with them when they are first seated. I have never worked at a restaraunt and worked only one job there. I was paid 6.50 an hour to bus tables. (not that place though) The other bussers got 4.00. We all got tips. I took half the floor, the other 2 took the other half. Hey, when I work, I work. I was no stranger to making 200 on a saturday night when you count the pay and tips. I never did tell those waitresses I was making as much as some of them.
Let's talk a little about Mouse. We got into fights. We got into trouble together. But she was my sister, you do not fuck with my sisters without serious consequences. Case in point: mouse was in special ed for reading. becky was in special ed also. So was mouse's new boyfriend, as much as a 13yr old those days actually had a boyfriend they kissed once or twice I think. Becky decided to intimidate mouse because her ex-boyfriend was now mouse's boyfriend. Mouse was scared. It took some prodding but I got it out of her. Took my happy ass down to the jr high, I was in high school one whole grade ahead, and 'met' with becky. Told her we needed to talk. She ran into the girl's room. I am a girl, I go in there too. She was trying to excuse it, pissed me off. Made me so mad I saw red. When I see red, I have no control, and lots of 'where the hell did that come from' strength. See, she had continued to intimidate mouse that morning refusing to believe I was coming to visit. Next thing I remember seeing, my hand on her neck and her feet were off the floor. Yeah one hand, mouse didn't need anymore trouble at school. She was working hard in all her other classes because she had trouble reading. Needless to say Becky never bullied anyone else at school, my job was done. I had a reputation at school only because of a couple of friends I hung around with. They got into fights, did drugs, etc. all while respecting my wishes to do none of these things. I never did have peer pressure with that, I think that was unique though. That was the first time I had ever earned my 'reputation' and I never did anything like it again. I would have felt ashamed, but it was something I felt was necessary to protect my sister. You know my stepmother never cleaned house, did dishes, laundry, etc. We did it. Mouse and I. Anything missy was told to do mouse and i did. We were not allowed to not listen to missy. I learned that lesson the hard way. Tell me something. Why would you teach your kid to stick up for themselves and then you punish them when they do?
School was my escape. I loved to learn. There was not one book in either of those libraries I had not read, except for the non-fiction. I did however refuse to do homework. This is why I got a c/m in both my science classes with this one teacher. 9th and 10th grade. He still likes me. He was a very understanding man. He knew some kids freeze up on tests. He worked his grading out for 1/3 test 1/3 homework 1/3 end of year project. (Almost no one failed his class.) Anything I did not finish in class, I did not do at home. It was a waste of my time, I had too much work to do. I had 9 people to cook, clean and do chores for with one person helping me. He asked me one day why I didn't finish my homework on a regular basis. (This was after he started a policy on signing your name on a piece of paper and giving a reason why you didn't finish your homework. Some kids lied to their parents and he was tired of getting crap from them about it.) I told him if he could make a test I couldn't ace, I would forever do his homework. I never did homework, but I did still sign that paper. He understood that. I don't know what it is about tests, I have no problem with them. I slept through our whole grass section in landscaping. This amused my teacher. We had a good laugh over it. All because I was never awake for those movies and the boring book stuff but I still aced those tests. We took 3rd place at state FFA that year. We identified grasses, plants and flowers. That was another great teacher who understood kids. We would do the hated book stuff, then go out and identify stuff around town. It was a 3 hour block class. When it was cold, he occasionally bought us hot chocolate and donuts at this little place that had no name in the back streets somewhere. I amazed my accounting teacher. I was through that whole book the first semester. This amused her. She let me work at my own pace. I got to do the cool computer stuff the second semester. The other kids weren't even done with the book at the end of the year. Trigenometry was great. The teacher for that also taught physics. That man was so smart he talked over people's heads. (I will always honor him for teaching us the difference between fission and fusion. He explained in such simple terms everyone understood.) There were two of us in our class that understood what he was saying. I don't know if he noticed or not, but after the lesson the two of us would proceed to interpret for everyone else. Some of the smartest girls in our graduating class did not understand him. This amused me. I hate popular girls. I hate smart girls who pretend they are dumb because they think it will make guys like them. That is not going to get you anywhere in life. Who's gonna hire you if you can't do the work?
About my father. He has an anger problem. I kind of understand it though. He was in vietnam. not by choice. He refuses to talk about it. He says he was a mechanic that worked on radios. From his reactions to some things makes me wonder. He does have a story he tells about that time. The ASFAB, he took it. They all do. I am still unsure exactly what it is, but I think it's a kind of aptitude test. West Point wanted him. In a really bad way. He had 2 very amusing weeks with them, pretending he was interested. He didn't want to be in the Army. He was forced into it. I have no idea what he would have done if it had been a choice for him when he turned 18. You must always make loud noises when entering a room/area well before you actually get there. His reaction is not funny if you forget to do this. If you have to wake him up for something, you must get a broom or something with a long handle. You do not touch his shoulder. Again, the reaction is not funny. It's hard to describe, he's startled, I'd swear his heart races, and I think there may even be a hint of fear in his eyes, that and he would swing at you automatic reflex and all that. Like I said, not funny. This man supported 9 people. As a construction worker. 10/hour does not go far. Squirrel hunting, deer hunting and fishing were food options not hobbies. I am pretty sure of this as now, he only goes fishing, and that only once in while. My husband is not allowed to bring fish into my house. I had to scale, filet and clean 2 5gallon buckets full of fish atleast 2 or 3 times a week. My father worked his ass of to raise/feed us, so I have forgiven him for not noticing what a bad person the stepmom was. We have talked about this. My grandma still hates her. My grandma has never hated anyone and has always given people a chance to change. Stepmom and missy will never have well wishes from her. Remember when I said you don't fuck with my sisters? Dad's new wife, I used to like her, went off on my oldest sister. I will paint the picture for you. Oldest was an MP. She got out about the time she had her first baby, that was last Feb. They wanted to send her to Iraq when he was a month old. She and her husband, also an MP, were and still are stationed in Germany. She had no one to take care of her kid. Her husband is deployed right now in Iraq. One of those places where bombs are daily, not telling you where for a reason. He has been deployed a lot. He would not have been available. He managed to be there for the birth, and has been home a couple of times on leave. My sister flew down from Germany to be with us for Christmas. This was to be her expense, they chose to pay for her plane ticket. She wanted to stay at a friends, they chose to insist she stay at their house. That was obviously not a good idea. New wife went off on her for not using the call waiting. She was on the phone with her husband. She will not use call waiting, if a bomb goes of he has to report. If she had done so and clicked back over and he was not there, she would have freaked. When someone dies, NOONE calls home. She would not know if he was ok until the family knows about the death. This can take significant time. My sister has been for all intents and purposes alone with her baby since his birth. No one to baby sit, take him off her hands, when she is so stressed, she needs time to herself. My sister called me in tears. I was pissed. I called new wife and said she need to be calmed down and if had problem discuss calmly so no misunderstandings. I knew she was still mad so I knew she needed to be calmed down before she pissed my sister off. My sister was first woman ever in SWAT (i know it's not the proper name for it) at Ft. Leavenworth. She's also qualified as a sniper with every gun she was supposed to qualify with. My sister is hard to piss off, but I'm sure that woman could have made her mad enough to atleast break her nose. I didn't get to see my sister for Christmas. I only got to spend a couple of days with her. I have no idea when I'll get to see her again. They are due to come home around april, but stays have been getting extended. It may be a while. That and she's going to live in VA. If I had known, they would not have seen me and my family for christmas either. My father thought it would be smart to ask me what my problem was. Bad mistake, especially when he got that damn condescending tone in his voice. Little misunderstanding my ass. Did everything for her my ass. Yeah, you'll see me when I see her. You don't mess with my sisters. I have a long memory.
Let me tell you about the stupidest thing I have ever done. I had sex. Without a condom, because he didn't want to wear one. STUPID. I don't know why I did it. I didn't really enjoy it. He wasn't even my boyfriend. I was 15, not a virgin though. It ended around late Jan early Feb that year. I turned 16 that April. In june we attended my cousin's graduation. I had never missed a period. Stupid me, I believed my preposterous sex education step mom gave me. (When your are pregnant, you automatically quit having periods. This is not true. I had never missed one.) I was having a heavy period. By heavy I mean lots of blood and cramps. I had never had cramps before. Got some stuff from the store for that. A few hours before we were due to go, I sat at the table. I told grandma I wasn't feeling well. Proceed to throw up. I remember that, I think I passed out too. Apparently I was also very white. Went to the ER. Asked me if I was pregnant. No not possible. Told them it had been at the latest early feb. last time. This of course out of earshot from my dad. Doctors are smart. They made me pee in a cup. Misscarriage. You do not know the pain of this unless you've been through it. I didn't even know. I blamed myself. A lot of things. I took benadryl for my sinuses. I carried bus tubs on the waist of my jeans because it wasn't as heavy that way. Do not ever tell someone you feel their pain unless you know it personally, you don't know. This is different than losing a child that's been born. It's a different kind of pain. I don't claim to know it. Later you wonder can I ever have children? If you get pregnant, you wonder will this one survive? All the way up to delivery it's in the back of your mind. Never have sex without a condom just because it doesn't feel good for him. Fuck him, he don't know shit. I cannot believe the courage of some of the women on the webmd bed rest board. Some are there after losing a baby(some more than 1) to the conditions they are on bed rest for now. I need to go cry now. |

My father showed up at my door a few minutes ago. He wanted to 'talk'. When he wants to 'talk', it means he wants to treat me like I'm a child and I have to do what he says. So, an explanation is needed, also you'll need to refer to the about me post. Also, when my sister was down, there was a fight in which he refused to listen to her side of the story. The list of not believing the kids vs. the woman who is having sex with him is a very long one. Trust me. Why is it he cannot believe she didn't feel welcome? Could it have been the dirty looks, the yelling, or the snide remarks? Of course not, his current sex object wouldn't do these things. Of course, their relationship has been on and off. During the off times he called her a crazy bitch, and said stuff about her doing the exact things she was doing to my sister. Reality Check! Take the damn blinders off already. This is one of the main reasons my sisters and I are so screwed up. Of course, it's not all the womens' fault. He did his share, calling us stupid worthless etc.
So I says, no, I don't want to talk. I know myself well enough I'm just going to scream and argue, I'm so pissed off about this. I also pointed out that he's let all the women in his life treat us like shit. This is where I drew the line. There was no misunderstanding. You can't misunderstand someone yelling about not answering the phone or wanting to baby-proof the house for an active 1yr old. Plus, the dirty looks and snide comments. My sister cleaned up after herself and kept the baby's stuff picked up; pretty much just stayed out of their way. They insisted she stay there, she knew it was a bad idea but was willing to try it. He asks me what gives me the right to cut him out of my life. Duh! It's my life, not his, MINE. If he cannot do what is right for my sister, how can I trust him with my kids. He also claimed I, personally, ruined his relationship with his son-in-law, aka my husband. They were friends before me. He should know better. My husband has his own opinion. I do not give it to him. I use my husband as a sounding board. I can trust him to tell me when I go overboard about something. He has always told me when I do. He is not of the opinion that I'm in the wrong. I trust this. He never liked dad's new wife in the first place. He saw this coming before I did. As my dad likes to make up his own reality when things don't go his way, it's going to be all my fault my husband is also pissed off about this. That said, my husband has chosen to stay out of it. No big deal, that's his choice. I respect it. Therefore, when my kids need to see grandpa, he will accompany them. My kids will never be alone with him. I can't trust him to keep control over that woman to not go overboard with them.
One of the last times I was over there, we were leaving and my 2yr threw up all over the car. So I took him out, back to the house and cleaned him up, then cleaned the car just enough for him not to sit in puke in his car seat. She told me not to worry about it, I cleaned it up as best I could. They were going to bed, I didn't want to keep them up. I came over as soon as I could the next day to clean it up. Apparently I take too many liberties. I should have bleached the house or something. Also, apparently I should have left my puking child in his carseat and proceeded home. No matter that his carseat leans back at a slight angle and he was choking on his puke. Nope, should have went anyway.
Another thing! My father thinks he has the right to 'talk' to me about my marriage. Ummm....EXCUSE ME! He has no business in that. It's my marriage, I didn't marry him! Sure we have problems, we deal with it. Everyone does. So, once again, I'm not good enough. Well, I'm fucking sick of it. I'm never going to be good enough for him. This is one of my main reasonings for my decision to make sure my kids are never 'alone' with him/them. My kids don't need that shit, life is hard enough. So no, he will never again be invited to my kids' birthday parties, xmas, etc. If he wants to celebrate with them, I will send them with someone I trust to look out for their best interests. It's time that man learned a hard lesson. The world does not revolve around him. He cannot have his way whenever he wants. No matter how big a fit he throws I will not give in. AND if he's stupid enough to appeal to my grandma, I will have no choice but to tell her the truth. She's not stupid, she knows things about him. He really doesn't want that to happen, she's seen the many things he did to us as kids. I know she'll tell him what he needs to hear. Not what he wants to hear.
*update* I just got off the phone with my sister. He lied yet again. I supposedly shooed the kids into their room before I answered the door. It was their nap time, they were supposed to be sleeping. I thought they were the ones knocking, that's why I was in their room. They do it a lot when they don't want to nap. I didn't know anyone was knocking til I went back downstairs and heard it again. It didn't sound like them, so I looked out the window. It was an unfamiliar truck, so I answered the door. If I had known it was him, I would have told him to go away and not even answer the door. I probably would have called the cops if he had refused. I'm tired of the lying. I'm tired of it all. You know, he never once asked to see my kids. Of course I didn't let him into my house. I didn't want to talk to him. I'm getting out of here before too long. I want to leave. It probably won't be til after the kids go to school, and I get a job again. Save the money to get the hell away from him. Force us to leave my husbands family behind too. Most of them live here. It's gotten to be too much. I shouldn't have to put up with this. I'm not even sure I'm going to let him see my kids now. I don't trust him. I just 'know' he's going to treat my kids like he does us, even now. I'm done. I'm not dealing with it anymore.
I know I'm not perfect. I know I can be wrong. I also know I'm not wrong about this. 27 years of expirience has told me this. |

Enough news! Let's have some fun. What genre of books is your favorite? Who is your favorite author? Do you have a secret passion for racy romance novels? I ask this because I do.
My favorite genre by far is Sci-fi/Fantasy. I like the idea of unicorns prancing around. I like the idea of witches and warlock, magic all around. I like the idea of being psychic, however I don't believe there are many out there. Medium has become my new tv show fascination. I love the idea of dragons, especially ones that talk back. Hence my passion for Anne McCaffery's Dragon Rider series. I have yet to read any of her other books. I like the idea of vampires. I have watched nearly every vampire movie made. Anne Rice is by far my favorite Vampire Author. I did not like what they did to her stories when converted to movies. They butchered her unique view of what a vampire is and does. Terry Brooks' Shannara Series' have given me unique views of magic, elves, and humans alike. He sets the books in a period of time after we have destroyed our world with nukes. A few have survived and adapted. Magic takes the place of science. I am currently in his 'The Voyage of the Jerle Shannara' series. I am missing 'Antrax' so, I haven't got a good view on the series. I have read it and always remember what's in my books, but I only read it once. It will take starting the book to kick in my memory.
As we all know by now, my secret passion is racy romance novels. Yes, I do like the sex part. I do not like crude words. I like the hinting and the euphemisms used by some authors for sex and various body parts. That's because I like to be allowed to use my imagination. The more hinted at, the more I come up with awesome 'pictures'. Hence my use of 'paint the picture' for you when I describe various things about my life. I also like to use big words. I don't really know why, I just do. Maybe I'm just showing off. I'm not trying to. I do require other things of my racy romance novels. My heroes must have a certain personality that evolves into something deeper as the book progresses. He must be somewhat arrogant/jerkish at first look and a teddy bear by the end. Otherwise, the book goes. My heroine must be somewhat feminine. She can be a warrior, in fact I really prefer she be one. Warrior, to me, does not mean fight with weapons, it means she fights for what she believes in. She must be fierce in protecting what she sees as her's. Like family and friends. I guess it's because I'm like that with my family. Johanna Lindsey has been, by far, my favorite author for this purpose. She writes historical and modern day romances. I prefer historical, but there have been a few futuristic that I like also. Sexy cowboys with their hats make me weak at the knees. As do Indians. Knights in shining armor can be, but are not always, included here.
Enough about me, how about you? |

As we all know, many cash strapped cities and towns are using eminent domain to condemn their residents' homes. All for the sole reason of selling it to a company that potentially will pay higher taxes. Sold to said companies at cheaper prices than the homeowner would. Some of these companies have also insisted on being exempt from said desparately needed taxes for the first x-amount of years. Excerpt:

The controversial case pits the rights of property owners against the efforts of government officials to revitalize depressed communities, and the justices in hourlong arguments appeared divided on which side of the issue they fall.
Their decision could have far-ranging implications and, reflecting the high stakes, the courtroom was packed with lawyers and government officials, as well as the group of homeowners from New London, Conn., who are at the heart of the case.
Lawyers for the homeowners say the case is the most important property rights dispute to reach the court in 50 years, because it could limit the government's ability to condemn property for economic redevelopment under its power of eminent domain.
Governments have relied on that power to condemn land for traditional public uses, such as railways, roads, public utilities, schools, waste treatment plants and the like. But they also have used condemnation powers to assemble large parcels of land for redevelopment--be it for an automobile manufacturing plant or a speedway or a baseball stadium.
Justice Sandra Day O'Connor asked a lawyer for New London, "For example, a Motel 6. The city thinks it should have a Ritz-Carlton, [to] have higher taxes. Is that OK?"
"Yes, Justice O'Connor, that's OK," attorney Wesley Horton said.
"You can take from A and give it to B, if B pays more in taxes?" a dubious Justice Antonin Scalia asked.
"If it's a significant amount," Horton said.
The 5th Amendment provides that no private property shall be "taken for public use, without just compensation." At issue is whether New London's proposed private economic redevelopment, designed to add jobs and increase tax revenue, amounts to a "public use" that would permit government officials to take a person's property after paying its fair value.
"You're leaving out that New London was in a depressed economic condition," Ginsburg told Bullock. "The critical fact, on the city's side, at least, is this was a depressed community, and it wanted to build it up to get more jobs."
Souter also pressed Bullock throughout his argument, suggesting that the redevelopment amounted to a legitimate public purpose because it would boost the struggling city's future.
But Scalia provided a strong counter argument to Souter. He made clear he agreed with Bullock and believed that New London had gone too far.
"What this lady wants is not more money. No amount of money could satisfy her. She lived in this house her whole life," said Scalia, speaking about 86-year-old Wilhelmina Dery, one of the residents.
She and the other homeowners, including Susette Kelo, see no reason they should sell simply for private redevelopment, Scalia said.

I think that what has really 'caught' the attention of many is that some 'towns' are taking little old ladies' homes. For no better reason than to put in a mall, hotel, whatever. I can understand the need to do this for a road or school, something which benefits all. However, just to put in a business is ridiculous. Make the business pay 'fair market value' for everyones' homes/land. In order for some small towns not to lose what little citizens they have, many choose to exempt major business from taxes for a set amount of years. I have seen a few stories of them up and leaving after the moratorium of taxes are over. One that sticks out is a Wal-Mart pulled up stakes when the 5year business tax exemption was over. If no towns would exempt businesses, then maybe they would get the money they want. And handing a business the right to condemn someones property for saying NO, that's just wrong. How do they know the business asked first? They could have just condemned without asking. There is something very wrong with this picture. This could potentially affect millions. There are many more small towns than there are big cities. Gives you a 'what's next?' feeling if this is allowed to go on by the Supreme Court. They are the last word in our court system. It can only be bypassed if Congress passes a law, and the President signs it. Even then, it can be appealed all the way back to the Court. Where are we then? They've already set a precedent by that time. Maybe I'm just seeing 'doom' where there's no reason to. What do you think? |

Oh my. The title of this article and synopsis caught my attention. Why would a court allow a man to sue a woman for emotional distress of her having his child? So, I clicked the link; you can too just click the title and it'll take you to the article. I'm pulling some quotes, so this is my view and not the article in it's entirety.

CHICAGO - An appeals court said a man can press a claim for emotional distress after learning a former lover had used his sperm to have a baby. But he can't claim theft, the ruling said, because the sperm were hers to keep.
Phillips accuses Dr. Sharon Irons of a "calculated, profound personal betrayal" after their affair six years ago, saying she secretly kept semen after they had oral sex, then used it to get pregnant.
He said he didn't find out about the child for nearly two years, when Irons filed a paternity lawsuit. DNA tests confirmed Phillips was the father, the court papers state.
Phillips was ordered to pay about $800 a month in child support, said Irons' attorney, Enrico Mirabelli.
Irons responded that her alleged actions weren't "truly extreme and outrageous" and that Phillips' pain wasn't bad enough to merit a lawsuit. The circuit court agreed and dismissed Phillips' lawsuit in 2003.
But the higher court ruled that, if Phillips' story is true, Irons "deceitfully engaged in sexual acts, which no reasonable person would expect could result in pregnancy, to use plaintiff's sperm in an unorthodox, unanticipated manner yielding extreme consequences."
The judges backed the lower court decision to dismiss the fraud and theft claims, agreeing with Irons that she didn't steal the sperm.
"She asserts that when plaintiff 'delivered' his sperm, it was a gift — an absolute and irrevocable transfer of title to property from a donor to a donee," the decision said. "There was no agreement that the original deposit would be returned upon request."
"There's a 5-year-old child here," Mirabelli said. "Imagine how a child feels when your father says he feels emotionally damaged by your birth."

I wonder, why is this man paying child support? You can't sue for child support for a child who was concieved from sperm obtained from a sperm bank. I don't see this as any different. He didn't have 'normal' sex with her that could possibly result in a pregnancy. He got a blowjob. There is no way this man should have to pay child support. I can only speculate why he's suing for 'emotional distress'. I think it's entirely possible he wants his child support money back. I cannot believe a court made him pay child support. What right did she have to use his sperm to have a child? Hell, what right did she have to tell her child who the father was. I mean, she didn't even tell the guy. She didn't slap him with child support until 2 years after the child was born. What right does she have to fuck with her kid's head about it? She's gotta know that since this made headlines, eventually her kid's going to find out she was lying. Nothing's been said about whether the guy wants the kid or anything. I can't form coherent thoughts about this. This is Outrageous. This pisses me off. The guy's not a deadbeat dad, he never consented to any form of sex that could result in pregnancy. Opinion on this anyone? |

Reading Zelda's blog, Sleeping Ugly, directed me to her political site. It reminded me that I should pay attention to what's in the news. We all know that each media outlet has it's own biases. So, I'm going to post links for the ones that grabbed my attention.
*Note: I split up the posts and each article has it's very own. I see this as making it easier to see which news article you want, and commenting on it specifically if you should wish. I am also going to change the time on this so it appears above the news articles. The budget post will take quite some time for me to get an informed opinion. I feel that before I pass judgement I should know what each program is for and why he thinks it should be axed. I don't agree with very much of what Bush does, but it's only fair. If I expect you to give me respect it must be returned. Even to someone who does not seem, to me, to merit it. Also, let's all remember that the President passes no laws on his own. He cannot invade a country for more than 14(I think) days all by his lonesome. Our system is one of checks and balances. It is the truth when I say that no president can possibly pass any law that he promised in his campaign sheet. Congress introduces and writes bills to be passed into law. In that sense the president can only veto or sign it. Congress can then pass it anyway. Lets all get a very real sense of what the president actually can do by his little ole self before we start accusing him of not keeping promises. Hell, you should have known that before the elections. This lesson is basic Civics. I learned it in 7th grade. Pssst, You do KNOW we don't actually vote our president into office right?, The electoral college does. If you want to know more about that go to CSPAN. They had a special on it before the elections, I'm sure there's some information about it on the page.*
That's it for now. I haven't read all the links I posted. Kids are wanting attention. Research must wait until bedtime. Anything said here is my opinion. I have not had time to research properly. When I do, it will be either a new post or updates to this one. These are what caught my eye. I will endeavor to post anything on the Yahoo News Site that catches my attention. and give my opinion. You are welcome to post your own opinion in the comments section. However there are rules. I respect your opinion, therefore I expect you to respect mine. Hatred and you're wrong will not persuade me to change my opinion. Anything nasty or threatening will be forwarded the the 'crew' at the hatemail site you see at the top of my page. If you wish to voice your opinion and attmept to change my mind, feel free. I always welcome a differing point of view. Always give reasons and facts to back up you opinion, unless you wish it to be taken as only your opinion with no supporting facts. That is what I have done here. My opinion with no supporting facts, yet. I have said so. I expect you to do the same.
Thanx. |

Martha Stewart is coming back to our tv's! I think this is great. I liked her show. I can't help but respect her when she takes crap from Conan O'Brian and giggles. She gives as good as she gets with him. I don't think she did anything wrong, to merit prison. I think they couldn't get her on what they wanted so they tried a different charge. As I'm not educated in law, I think obstruction of justice means anything the DA wants it to mean. |

Atlanta Subway gets TV! This is amusing. They say tickets to ride won't cost more. We'll see. Not that I'm anywhere near a place with a subway let alone Atlanta. |

Ashlee Simpson and her misguided attempts to keep singing. I don't pay much attention to pop stars let alone wanna-bes. I did catch a bit of her singing on Cnn I think. It was bad. Some people should not be allowed to perform. If that's her lipsyncing, I'd hate to see how bad she butchers when she uses her voice. |

Contender (reality show yet to air) Contestant commits Suicide. Not much to add here. It's sad and makes you wonder. |

Link to today's Supreme Court News Articles. Going to leave it to you if you want to see.
I am going to take a look at this later. More details to come. |

An article on Social Security Reform. Looks to be against Bush's plan. I'm reserving judgment. |

Lawmakers Using Retreats to Raise Money. This is just wrong. I have always considered the lobby money stuff to be wrong. I really can't blame them for taking the money. It isn't free, but man everyone is doing it. Both freakin' sides. It reminds me of high school. Everyone else is doing it, there must not be anything wrong with it. |

Programs Bush Wants to Reduce or Kill.Safe and Drug Free Schools state grants<---I pulled this one of the list. I don't know exactly what it is, but a safe and drug free school program on the chopping block? I'll probably google later. Women's educational equity. Higher education demonstration projects for students w/disabilities. Administration for Children and Families Community Service Programs. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention congressional earmarks(I do know what the CDC is and what it does for us, this is ridiculous!). CDC Preventive Health and Health Services block grant. Health Resources and Services Administration emergency medical services for children. HRSA Healthy Community access program. Health Resources and Services Administration universal newborn hearing screening. Rural fire assistance (Bureau of Land Management, National Park Service, Fish and Wildlife Service, Bureau of Indian Affairs). That one seems self explanatory. COPS law enforcement technology grants. I believe COPS is an anagram for Concerns of Police Survivors. My sister worked as a secretary there. They provide help and scholarships to children of Police Officers Killed In the Line of Duty. There national headquarters is right here in my little 'city'. Other state/local law enforcement assistance program terminations. Ok, those were ones I picked out that are on the TERMINATE list. I will google later so, I can make an informed opinion about them. Again, I copy/pasted what caught my eye. There is a whole 'nother list called MAJOR FUNDING CUTS. If interested, go read. This site claims to have exact text of the budget proposal. It is a whitehouse site, so I can only assume it is exactly as it says. I will go through at a later time, when I'm ready. |

Iran Admits 'Deep Differences' With Europe.Hmmm...What to say. In here it quotes Iran leadership about not using their new nuclear abilites for weapons, only for electricity. As the UN weapons inspectors have found no evidence of them even trying to develop a weapon, I say we should give them the benefit of the doubt. Especially since they're not going to be quaking in their boots over a threat of military action. Whether or not we really are capable of invasions, our Media reports that we are stretched too thin. Depending on who they choose to believe, I'm fairly sure the consensus is that right now, we don't have the troops to go invading again. Without a draft of course. |

Saudis May Give Women Right to Vote. Huh, not sure here either. They say they want to, but they say it's going to take time. Well, boys no time like the present, yes? |

Iraqi TV Airs Tape of Purported Confession. Huh, not sure what to believe here. |

I am separating the previous post into different ones for ease of commenting, if you should choose to do so.
If you have a loved one in the military, and know their unit, you can find out if they are on the casualty list.Now, this only applies to an extent. Next of kin is notified before anyone else knows. So, casualties from today will be unknown until after they are notified. This applies to someone outside of the next of kin circle who wants to know. What this means to me: I can check to see if my sister's husband is still alive. If an unknown is posted, it still tells branch of military and place of happening. He is army and in a certain city in Iraq. My sister is in Germany, so if this happens to her, she will fall apart, and may not recover in time for us to be there for her. |

I figured I should post something new this morning. I left up the last two posts for 2 days, because I felt a bit strongly over it. I have my page set up to show 1 days post on the main page. It irks me to have to scroll and scroll and scroll some more. If I wasn't as passionate about the Safe Haven Issue, I would have waited a day to post it. I don't like my page to be cluttered. Ok, I admit it, I am obsessive, not to mention weird. I am, after all, awake at an UNGODLY! hour. (grumble)Freakin' 6:30 in the morning!(grumble more) I know it's not 6 am now, but man that's early. I go to sleep around 2 am or later.
Husband has to go to work early today. Mean Bitch, the kitchen manager, is on vacation this week. He's doing full day twice, and his buddy 3 times. I am so glad this is his last week. Without Mean Bitch and her waitress buddies saying mean things and giving him dirty looks, he'll be so much happier. We're going from 11.30/hr to 8.25/hr. It might be 8.50 he did talk the guy above 8.00 which is what he usually starts workers at. This line of work will be totally different. NO MORE RESTARAUNT HOURS! Off nights, Yeah! Off weekends! Allowed to go on vacation even if it is summer/tourist season, Even Better! I just walked him to the door. It's snowing, hard. Ok, well snow can't exactly snow hard but you know what I mean. Back on point. He's going to install boat docks. Something like that anyway. He may have to work late, but I don't care, I'm used to it. That and it will never be past dark. You can't install/fix stuff if you can't see. I may complain once in a while about not having enough money for things I want, however reality is I don't really care all that much. I get my monthly book, my internet, I'm happy. I mean, if I really was pissed off about it, I'd go get a job. However, I refuse to do this. I have reasons for this, 2 reasons: Mikel and Steven. I don't want them taken care of by a stranger. Hell, I have trouble letting them go over to their uncle's house so that my husband and I can go out. I know uncle and aunt take good care of my kids. That's the only reason I allow them to baby sit. It's funny, I used allow. ROFLMAO. I mean I want them to babysit for my convenience or whatever and I still, atleast in my head, use the word allow. I do not trust easily. I can be all sweet and sugar, and will be until you piss me off. However trust is different. Trust is me telling you things, I don't normally discuss. People have this tendency to think I want to hear their life story. Strangers seem to think I want to dispense advice over a problem they are having. I think I give off vibes. What do I do about it? AAAAHHHHH!!!! I listen to their problem and answer. (Smack the forehead, it's a DUH! moment.) I seem to have a unique way of stepping back and giving them a different insight into their problem. It's a curse. Crowds make me naseous and want to throw up. Stranger come up to me to do this and I'm shaking like a leaf. Shy, yes.
Next I will explain the hatemail thing. I have moved the button to the top of my sidebar. This way it cannot be missed. I added the alt=" " tag to the img src=" " code, before the />. (I sent them an e-mail for this. It's amusing, I had forgotten that my e-mails read as coming from my husband. This was done for his family. So now seven and whoever reads the e-mail think I'm a guy named Bill. I'm not, that's the husband's name. OOPS.) The alt tag, merely tells a browser that if picture is displayed, do nothing. If picture is not displayed, use alternate text. If you have a browser other than IE, you can check it out for yourself. In fact if you would like your page to be seen on any browser, you should download firefox or netscape or something. In fact, in this case, clicking on my alternate text words, you are sent to the hatemail site. However, if there is no anchor tag present I think you just see the image. It purposely loads because you purposely clicked it. Ok, Ok, on with the explanation. On the sidebar, at the right, you see a list of blogs I read. (I think it's time to add more to it, just haven't yet.) A few of those I am obsessive over. They make me laugh, as do the comments that are posted. So, I go around 3 to 4 times on any given day. Some days I really need to laugh. That's only when I can't get 'lost' in my books any longer. Around this weekend, I first became aware of some meanish comments on jack's blog. (I think he's not blogging anymore, his site only has one entry, everything else is deleted. Very sad, he was funny and made me proud of police officers in general. In my area our sheriff takes advantage of the fact that he's sherriff, his kid should be in jail, you know for drugs and whatnot. We also have a City officer that pulls people over for fun. No profiling, nothing like that, he just does it when he's in the mood to harass someone.) Now, when I read the comments, I was mostly clueless. Jack mentioned deleting a comment someone made at their request. I have never seen on his site, any censoring what so ever. Never any do not say your opinion by him or any commenters. Some jerks decided to go to her site and make hateful comments, and also send her hatemail. I am unsure how the 4 ladies got involved in the whole thing, it doesn't really matter. The point is there are quite a few jerks out there that feel it's perfectly ok, to harass the ladies. I do believe there was mention of death threats. Any way, there were some who saw the comments and/or e-mail. So, here come the knights in shining armor. It's so sweet. I still get warm fuzzies over it. No, I don't get hatemail, or even rude comments. Hell, I don't have many readers. Judy has lost her way and not been back in a while. (Side note: I turn 28yr only 15 days before she does. I find this amusing. A weird coincidence.) So I moved the button to the top, but left the link itself without the pic on my links section. This way, if anyone should come across here that may be having trouble with hate mail, they can go to the hatemail site and the 'crew' there will help and take care of it. They will post the hate e-mail, the address it came from, the IP, the name and where appropriate notify the proper authorities. Each one of the 'crew' has their own field of expertise. They are very capable of doing what they say. So if you have not yet, you really should 'clicky' on the button and see the site.
I did warn you my thoughts were fairly random today. Back to husband and his job. He is very good at it. He has been a line cook since he was 18, he washed dishes at 14. He is fast and good at what he does. Mexican food is what he knows. To give you a general idea, I will 'paint' a fair picture for you. A line cook is considered 'fast' if he/she can put together 2 tickets with 4 persons apeice. Okay in layman's terms, 8 dinner plates. Here after to be called 4 tops, 6 tops, whatever. He can have the whole dining room sat at once, and no one wait longer than 30 minutes for dinner. Picture dining room sitting around 200 persons. He has no trouble putting together 4 4-tops(16 dinners.) This means burritos, enchiladas, chimis, combos, what have you. No ticket ever has the exact same thing for everyone. Putting together a 15 top is no problem either. The big tables are usually the hardest. See, when dealing with smaller tickets, if there is food that takes longer, it can be manipulated a bit. Like steaks, or fajitas. A 4-top with four combo plates will be fixed and sent out before a 4-top with 1 fajita and 3 combo plates. Only because grilling the meat takes longer. He has an uncanny instinct on who's doing what, who needs help, when the meat on the grill has been turned and he can start the plates. Yes, as you can see, I worked with him. I was good at my job and learned to anticipate his needs. Get your mind out of the gutter! I did appetizers, so there were times I had free, where the line cook almost never does. I ran for beans, rice, cold line stuff whenever I had time. So, we cannot work together now, because mind reading is expected. When I'm busy I can't notice he's out of stuff. Long story. We met and married IN the restaraunt we were working at at that time. There are also basic rules for food in a restaraunt. The food must be x temp on the hotline. Food must be x temp in coldline, walk-in, freezer, etc. There must be lids on EVERYTHING. Meat can only be kept for 5 days after it is first cooked. These are health reasons, not just because I like it that way reasons. He was so frustrated with this. I went so far as to go to the State of MO Health Dept. Website and get exact info on what is unacceptable. You know the level at which your restaraunt gets SHUT DOWN! There are quite a few they were guilty of. These people smoke over the food. The women also have long hair, free. No ponytail, no braid, no hat, nothing. My husband finds more than one hair in the food, every day. He also throws out rotten food, that is on the line at the time. When food is on the hotline, that means they are feeding it to the customers! Their restaraunt has a consistent number of customers each day. They don't really fluctuate. They prep food say, tuesday: it will not be used until thursday at the earliest! So this tells you that the food that is served on saturday was more than likely prepped on thursday. Bear with me, there is a point. They are closed on sunday and monday. So, on saturday leftover food goes in the walkin. He has tried to get them to freeze it. So come tuesday, the food is on the verge of going bad, it's on it's fifth day. Remember, I said meat for 5 days from and including the first time it's cooked. No, they don't even use it all on that tuesday, they leave it for wednesday. Can you say food poisoning?! Yeah, the employees won't eat it, they know better. Yet, they still serve it. The owner knows this, but he still trusts his manager staff. I have to tell you, if the kitchen staff won't eat the food, it should not be served. I know the owner knows this. I gave him a folder of printed out materials from the health department. It was pointed out to him, he chose to ignore it. He hired my husband on the spot for 11/hour. That is not done here. An expirienced cook is hired at 8 to 9/hour. This tells you how 'in demand' my husband is. He is that good. The owner also allowed his employees to harass and abuse my husband. Mean Bitch, I want to break her nose. That is the expression I use for people that are mean to my family. However, I am fully capable of breaking it, if I thought I could get away with it. Like, not go to jail. They are lazy. My husband could get that kitchen so efficient they would do less work in less time, they just don't care. This is why I don't mind 8/hour. We can pay bills and feed the kids. I don't care. I want him to be happy. There have been a few jobs that ended up with the owner deciding to be rude and/or obnoxious to him. My husband is very laid back and will take a lot of abuse, just because he dislikes confrontations. One of said owners were yelling and screaming at him for things he had no control over, she knew he wouldn't give as good as he got. It's a long story. The only thing I have ever asked is that he have a job before he quits the current one. In fact, I am the one that encourages him to get a new one when that happens to him. No one deserves to be treated in this way. I'd rather not have my internet and books, in order for him not to come home upset every night. I'm just glad it's not necessary.
That's all for now, I may update later. |

Tina's post today brought something to my attention. I remember the uproar over young mothers abandoning their babies. I cannot pretend to know what motivates these young girls to do this. I can only speculate. Here are my speculations: Fear of parents. Fear of what schoolmates will say. Fear of physical/mental abuse from a)father of child b)mother or father c)pregnancy resulting from rape or molestation. I did get pregnant at 16, however I had a miscarriage and didn't know it was possible for me to be pregnant at the time. It's a long story. If you want more info on that, go to the january archives, it's at the bottom of the about me post.
So, now I'm curious. What states have this law? Does my state have it? Turns out we do, however I was unaware of it. Makes me wonder how many kids don't know about it. I googled using safe+haven+law. First site that came up is A safe haven for newborns. There is a map on the page. I live in missouri. This is the link for that.
State of Missouri
Safe Place for Newborns
Toll Free Crisis Line: 1-877-440-2229
House Bill 1443 - (Approved by Governor July 2, 2002; Effective August 28, 2002)
Online Text of Bill note:this is only for MO, use the first link to find your state.
Highlights:
* Age: Less than 30 days old
* Safe Havens: On duty hospital staff, firefighters, emergency medical technician, and law enforcement, any other medical facility.
* Liability: : Immune from prosecution on child abandonment and endangering welfare of child who is less than 5 days old; affirmative defense for child abandonment and endangerment of welfare to child who is between 6-30 days old
Update: found a site that lists all states that have it. Also has info about what education is on it. Unfortunately, the only education on it in my state is DFS has brochures. It's a pdf, view it if you want to know info about your state.
This bothers me. Not that we have the law, that I was unaware of it. It passed in 2002. If I didn't know about it, how many children don't know? This is something that should be well known. This is why I have a problem with abstinence only sex education. Everyone makes mistakes. We, as little girls, are taught that we should be ashamed of our bodies and subsequently our budding sexuality. As a teen I had sex too young. I know it now, I knew it then. Why, you ask? Because he wanted to. The mentality of girls today is worse. They feel to have friends, not just boyfriends/girlfriends, they must have sex with them. (You have heard of 'freinds with benefits', right?) I'm not saying this applies to all, but if you watch any news at all, you must have caught a few stories about these things. Katie Couric did a Dateline Special on this. A two hour show. If anything, this should tell you it is more prevalent than you think. I don't think it was a great look into the problem. Most of the kids denied any sexual activity and had just 'seen' it go on. They knew their parents would see it, in fact their parents were in the next room. Did they tell the truth? We have no way of knowing. We must be open and honest with our kids. They are not angels. They are not perfect. They WILL make mistakes. They will be making these decisions. We, as parents, must give them the right information. We must be open and honest. We must share our expiriences. Don't you learn from other's expiriences/mistakes? Your child can learn from your mistakes. Hiding your past is only going to make them resentful of you lying. They may even think it's no big deal, since you didn't tell them about it. There is no sense in telling them it's wrong to have sex, you know that one day they will, eventually.(We just hope it's not until they are 50 or something.) They know you don't want them to. What they need is for you to give them good reasons not to. Don't lie about birth control. Teach them to use it. You do not know when they will make that decision. One day they are going to have sex. Whether it's before marriage or not. Just because you're married doesn't mean you should never use birth control. Some people aren't ready for kids yet, even then. They must have the ability to support themselves first. You can't tell kids that condoms don't work. It's a medical fact that they do. Never has it been claimed that they always work. They have disclaimers everywhere that they can break and may not prevent pregnancy/STD's. Question: Would you rather your child have unprotected sex, or use whatever means necessary to lessen the chance they'll catch something/get pregnant? Yes, I will tell my children not to have sex. Of course I don't want them to. They are my babies. However, I will educate them. I am not stupid, I know that one day they will make that decision. I want them to use a condom every single time. No hesitation about using them. I want them to make sure the girl is on birth control also, in case the condom breaks. I will make sure they know how to put one on. I will make sure they know the right size to buy. I will make sure they have them. I will make sure they know about STD's. I will be sure to show them all the nasty pictures showing each kind. I hope it will prevent them from having sex. Being more realistic, I hope more that when they choose to have sex they will always use a condom. No exceptions, I want that to be second nature. I don't want them to think about not using one. That is my greatest fear. They will go out into the big bad world and have sex with some girl, get her pregnant and/or catch a disease. I know abstinence is the only way to guarantee no disease and/or pregnancy. My kids will know that too. Did you know that many kids today do not consider oral sex to be 'sex' as we know it to be? Did you know some consider it to be a form of birth control in and of itself? Did you know some believe they cannot get STD's this way? How did this come about in our society? Don't go blaming it on Clinton. Oral sex has been around on tv and in movies before he got his blowjobs on the news. You want to know what I think? If you're still reading you do, you haven't closed your browser window. If anyone is to blame for the way kids consider and have sex today, it's their parents. It is not and never will be a school's responsiblity to teach kids about sex. Parents are the only ones to blame. Not tv, not movies, not music lyrics. You have control over the computer and tv access. You can choose to remove it from your house. Your kid doesn't need the internet at home to do schoolwork. That's what the library is for. You choose what movies your kids see. You choose what books they read. You can choose to throw out music with lyrics you don't approve of. You choose whether or not to monitor their online activies. You, and you alone. I understand some parents can't be with their kids all day. It's called unplug the cords and take them with you. Take the tv out of your house. Don't have one. It will not kill, nor hurt, your kid not to have a tv. They can read a book. Books are better, they make your brain work harder. They require imagination. Remember, only you have control over what your child does at home. The law says you must feed, clothe, and house your child. Nothing else. They do not need designer clothing/products, tv, movies, radio/cd players, phone, computer. If they have these things, it's because you allow it. Let's quit blaming the gaming industry, movie industry, music industry, tv for what your kids do. There are warnings on music, movies, games, even tv shows. If it comes into your house, it's no one's fault but yours.
Take the blinder's off. Your kids aren't perfect, they never will be. Educate them. Give them the tools they need to grow up and be a contributing member of society. Take a deep breath, it's over now. Until I think of something more to add ;) |

Today, I was reading Judy's blog. Her post has a link to King Nate's blog. On there is a link to a news article. So, basically some people are getting fired over writings in their blogs. This particular article says, it seems, that someone got fired because they posted that they hate their job. Whoopee freakin' doo! Everyone says that from time to time. They just usually say it to people they know, in real life. I didn't find a reference to the blog itself. That would have been nice. You know, for us to judge for ourselves. It was a newspaper that did the firing. Free speech and all that, apparently not for newspapers, I guess. At least, that particular one. I really want to know what that blog said. Did it have the company name in blazing letters? Did it actually say bad things about them, or just the usual today I hate my job? How did the company find out about this person's blog? Why did they view it in any case? I don't think they'll get away with this one. If she was blogging on company time, I would think that would be the reason for firing. So I don't think that happened.
I don't think people should blog while they are getting paid to work. I guess I have a different work ethic, I don't know. Maybe, it's just that I've never had a job that had a computer, let alone access to the internet. For all I know, I might be tempted. If you've never been there, you really have no place judging. No one really knows what they'd do in x-situation unless they've been there and made that choice. This applies to everything. I don't see anything wrong with blogging/surfing while on lunch. However, I think it's appropriate to ask if it's ok with the company. I mean, they do pay for internet access. Maybe they have unlimited, I don't know. From reading a few places, an unfamiliar word comes up synonymous with internets sites: bandwidth usage. I think it means when you have a site with pics on it or other kinds of files, and too many people view or download it, it can shut down the server. The server isn't just one person's site, it's many people's sites. Maybe some companies have their own servers, if it's a big one, I'd assume it's necessary. I know there are fees for extra usage of bandwidth. I'm just one person, and I don't have my stuff stored on my own particular server. Some on geocities, msn, and some of the stuff you see on my site is in other places. I know you can upload files to your own server. FTP and all that, but I don't think I have that option. So, I guess I'm saying it's only polite to ask about accessing the 'net for personal use from company computers.
Apparently there have been a few cases of firing over blogging. As I have seen no other articles, this is hearsay. Interpret it how you want, but if you 'hear' something a lot, there usually is at least a grain of truth to it. I've atleast viewed quite a few blogs. I got bored one day, and wanted to see how random the 'next blog' button thing at the top of most blogger.com blogs have. So I went from my page and went until there was one without that button. Then from 2 other sites. Then from my own again. It really is random, I never viewed the same one twice. So, in all those that I viewed, I don't remember any that gave out their address, place of employment, and rarely their real name. Usually a nickname or one they chose for themselves, like mine is. It makes me wonder how many people put their real name, company name or address on their site. So how do their employers know? Did they give out their site to co-workers? Did they access it at work, therefore being in whatever memory thing and the tech guys saw it?
I haven't put my real name on here once. My kids, yes, but there are many names exactly like theirs. Even with Mikel's spelled differently. (I got curious one day and googled it. There were more than I expected with his first and last name.) My married name is not uncommon. Especially in Arkansas. My husband's family doesn't know for sure if their related to them or not. Somewhere back in the line there were slaves and what not, with kids resulting. Apparently on that side there is some shame and hiding of it. That's ridiculous. No one has control over who their parents are let alone their ancestors, nor what they did in life. There's no shame in being related to black people. Family's family, and let me tell you it's nice to have family that cares. Since I have cut my parents out of my life, to protect my kids, I know this. That's a whole new subject, I should get back on point. I have been nice enough not to put my husband's place of employment on here. They are treating him like crap, and I haven't actually named them. Maybe it's because it would somewhat pinpoint my location, I don't know. I like the idea of being anonymous. It's a bit easier to bare my soul that way. Of course I don't always do that. I do soapbox a bit. Some things just make me angry. I'll link and list them for you. Assholes, Outrage!, Same Sex Marriage, OMFG, Idiots, Why do I let them piss me off?, A few things have occured to me today, About me; what made me who I am today. They are listed last to first, so if you like start with the last one listed. Some are intensely personal, some I just feel passionate about. I do feel I've done a good job saying it's my opinion, if you don't like it then don't read it. I don't mean you shouldn't read period, I mean if it's going to offend you then maybe you shouldn't read it. They are, after all, my opinions and views on life as I know it to be. I know there are people who will disagree with me. I don't mind that. As long as you have an open mind, I respect your opinion. Everyone is shaped by their expiriences in life. Everyone's expiriences are different. Yes, most of my life was not good. Yes, I am resentful for it. No, I don't believe that mine was the worst it could have been, nor better/worse than yours. It was different, that's all I'm saying. So, before anyone judges me, I would prefer that they keep an open mind and remember that I'm not speaking to that one person in particular. I am writing because it's an outlet for me. It helps me to stop crying. Helps me to 'deal' with it. Yes, a few of my posts are written with tears. I was so pissed off and upset with the assholes post, I could barely see what was written. Yes, I feel guilty about it. No, I don't think it's my fault. No, I'm not going to change my mind.
So, this didn't turn out at all like I thought it would. I would appreciate that you read this in it's entirety. It may be necessary to read the posts I listed. It may not. Before you judge me, I suggest you do so. I will respect your opinion. I do expect you to respect mine. Thanks for listening. Breathe, you're ok. You've survived once again. |