So...once again, it's the weekend and time for the randomness that is my brain.
  Didn't do the cleaning I planned today, but did get the tools for it. Also I hurt my hands even more trying to do dishes yesterday. Still just sticking to folding laundry. These hand braces do help, but they don't make it go away.
  We went out and about today. Went by Pizza Hut. We ordered a family meal thingy, 1lg pizza and a crapload of breadsticks with drinks. For us getting just one pizza is hard. I almost always want either taco pizza or Meatlovers. He's not into taco pizza at all. He can't eat italian sausage, or any kind for some reason. If we buy plain ground pork, I can make biscuits and gravy, but if it's seasoned...Uh oh! So the nice waitress lady, I loved her, she said well you can have it half. I says wow really? I only didn't think they would because of the way a taco pizza is made. I worked in the restaraunt business for a long time, normally it doesn't bother me to ask for things like this. So we order half taco and half supreme with absolutely no sausage on it. The kids loved the breadsticks. They brought out more than I thought they would. Kids pigged out on those. My pizza comes. Yes, I said mine. Yeah, we did order a half and half but mine came out first. Apparently the nice waitress lady pushed the wrong button on the micros (it's a specialized computer thingy for restaraunts, makes it easier on cooks who can't read waitress writing) and well, I get half a taco pizza. What did he get, you ask? He got a WHOLE large supreme pizza. Damn it all! I wish the woulda gave me the whole taco and him half a supreme. I don't like peppers on my pizza! Let me tell ya about the nice waitress lady. We had some coupons we get in the mail every month. So we were figuring out what we wanted. That lady was adding up the specials they had and what was on the menu to figure what was the best deal for us. LMAO! I have to tell you, this really is rare in wait staff. You see, the more you pay, the higher the tip to the waitress is supposed to be. It doesn't really bother me when they don't do that for ya, because I know why they do it. A waitress here is paid 2.50 with micros expirience. The rest is tips. This is almost like depending on the charity of others. Some of it depends on how good you are and being nice. However there are cheap assholes who don't see why they should pay the waitress since the restaraunt does. There are some old fogies around here who think 2¢s is the ultimate compliment. Leave 2 pennies on the table tells her she was awesome. HELLOO! 2¢s don't pay the bills. They think they are doing great when really they aren't. Hell half the tourists that come down are these old fogies. Enough about that. If your waiter/tress gets your drinks and food you tip 15% as long as the food isn't cold and they are not rude. Above and beyond that should be atleast 20%. Of course this is relative. If the place is really slow, you should be waited on damn near hand and foot. You know, dirty plates off the table, refill glass when empty, etc. Don't go overboard on that. If the place is full, don't expect anything more than your food and drink. If you get them in a timely matter, trust me that she deserves 30% or more. If a place is full and you get stuff in a timely manner, that means she is quicker than the others and got your order to the kitchen damn near as soon as you gave it to her. These are the miracle workers, pay them like you mean it. Trust me that most people will not tip well as they expect hand and foot treatment even when the place is packed. Ok, enough about that, We left her over 20% and we were the only table. It was plenty.
  Went to the shoe store at the outlet mall. Hubby got new sneakers...needs them for work. Me, I wanted new sandals as my old ones are worn out and hurt my feet.
  Went to the BOOK STORE! Shoved the kids with hubby into the kids section. I went off to find the appropriate books. Which, of course, can mean any kind it just has to catch my eye. Can you believe I struck out in the damn bookstore? ME?! Not a thing. They had hardback bestsellers on sale for buy 2 get #3 for $1. Oh, Oh not only that, but they were between $4 and $6. Oh yeah, I struck out! Somebody shoot me now. I have lost my ability to choose books. I went through the whole store. So sad. Everyone together now 'aaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwww'. We did get 2 box book sets. For kiddies. They were 4 books, 4 mini color pages, 4 puzzles in each box. They are those thick cardboard ones for toddlers. One set is backyard animals, one is sea animals. I had a pic, but for some reason my camera is only taking fuzzy ones. Hmm. Steven had such fun walking from store to store to car. Yeah, we only hit two of them. If it were my choice we'd have taken all day. You know the kitchen store was in between the car and the bookstore. I tried to go there twice. It takes me hours to get through a small kitchen store. I know, I'm so bad!
  We went to target. WooHoo! yeah Target! You know, the only reason I prefer it over the others isn't any prices or deals, it's that they have bras that fit me and do not dig into my skin. Nor do I magically pop out of them! I love target! (refer to this post) I do so love stores with so many things I like. No sandals for me here either, but I did come close. There was this boys size 6 pair of sandals that almost fit me. My toes reached the end of the shoe. Guys on the average must have really big feet or something. There was no size 7 in those, so no shoes for me. But, we did get the boys matching sandals for this summer. Got make your own picture magnets kit thingy. Great things for mother's day etc. Gotta find me the right pic for bill's stepmother. She's really nice, she sent me a sweet little birthday card. You know, she likes me and is not rude. That's enough to make me wanna worship the ground she walks on. LMAO! Well, I do like her and even though his dad died, I do try to keep her up on what the boys do and stuff. I was looking through the books at target. JACKPOT! Yeah, I got not one, but two new books today. They are Harry Potter numbers 4 and 5. Goblet of Fire and The Order of the Phoenix. My anticipation is building. You're lucky you're getting this post out of me. I will be treasuring these for a long time. Also, bonus the kids will eventually love Harry Potter too. Bonus treasure from target today: A 3cd set titled "Rockin' 80s". I picked that up only because I'd never seen an 80's set before. I wanted to know who and what was on it. Can you guess????
  I will make you wait! Bwaahaahaa, or however that goes. Someone must tell me how to get the songs to be on my website. I know how to get them onto my puter, I will need to know how to put them on and prevent them from being copied or whatever. I have to tell you, the first song on it told me $9.99 was worth the cds. Yes, I would have paid it just for this one song. One cannot have too much of Quiet Riot "Come on Feel the Noize". I have only heard it lately because it came up once on my YIM Launchcast. Now, I can play it whenever I want to. So, I will devote one paragraph to each cd. Only to lessen my confusion as to where I'm at on the list.
  CD #1: 1.Cum On Feel The Noize/Quiet Riot  2.You've Got Another Thing Coming/Judas Priest  3.Down Boys/Warrant  4.Fantasy/Aldo Nova  5.Girlschool/Britny Fox  6.So You Ran/Orion the Hunter  7.Think I'm In Love/Eddie Money  8.Gimme Your Good Lovin'/Diving For Pearls  9.Never Say Never/Romeo Void  10.Best of What I Got/Bad English  11.Wango Tango/Ted Nugent  12.Tuff Enuff/The Fabulous Thunderbirds  13.Teas'n Pleas'n/Dangerous Toys
  CD #2: 1.The Final Countdown/Europe  2.Wait For You/Bonham  3.Poison/Alice Cooper  4.Burnin' For You/Blue Oyster Cult  5.Pretty In Pink/The Psychedelic Furs  6.876-5309 aka Jenny/Tommy Tutone  7.And We Danced/The Hooters  8.I'm No Angel/The Gregg Allman Band  9.Hold On/Santana  10.Voices Of Babylon/The Outfield  11.Jungle Boy/John Eddie  12.Fast As A Shark/Accept  13.Naughty Naught/Danger Danger
  CD#3: 1.Cult Of Personality/Living Colour  2.Metal Health (Bang Your Head)/Quiet Riot  3.Working For The Weekend/Loverboy  4.Cherokee/Europe  5.The Warrior/Scandal featuring Patty Smyth  6.I Wish I Had A Girl/Henry Lee Summer  7.Play The Game Tonight/Kansas  8.Rock And Roll Is King/Electric Light Orchestra  9.Birth, School, Work, Death/The Godfathers  10.Bonin' In The Boneyard/Fishbone  11.Me And The Boys/Dave Edmunds  12.What I Like About You/The Romantics  13.Eve Of Destruction/Red Rockers  14.I'm Not Your Man/Tommy Conwell & The Young Rumblers
  Now I don't know about you, but I only recognize about half the songs and/or artists. Keep in mind the title of the song is first the artist is second. I will be listening to see if I recognize them all. How many do you 'know' that you know? As soon as someone helps me to figure out how to get the song onto a post, I'll be letting you find out for yourself if you recognize any of the songs. Happy listening people.
  Oh yeah, the cartoons. I slept in, missed the early ones. Dragon Booster was a rerun. Spent that time cruising my favorite blogs. I especially love the 'Sparkling Glitter Rainbow Ponies' blog, don't you? LMAO {wink wink} I don't know who talks more about their sex life, Zelda or Tina. We are now biding time until the new Full Metal Alchemist at 10:30pm central time on cartoon network. I have to say this new Zatch Bell cartoon is interesting. It's on now. I'll probably watch One Piece again. It's odd, so it fascinates me for the time being. Nothing better on anyway.
  The name of the game today is ITCHY, IT FUCKING ITCHES! the goal to win the game is not to scratch. Being as I don't have 'girly' stuff, hubby had to bring me unscented body lotion. He brought me Vitamin E skin cream. I did read the label and it said it was a decent lotion too. Well, not for tattoos it's not. It gets gunky. After showering and getting the gunk crap off today, that stuff gets gunky pretty quick, I noticed my skin was peeling. Oh, no I'm sure we ain't supposed to do that. At target I picked up this nice magical stuff. Baby Magic All Day Moisturizing Creamy Baby Oil. with Aloe and Vitamins. I thought, well it's for babies, the label says technically it's not really baby oil, it just works like it. It's not oily at all, I have to say. Moisturized me up pretty quick. My tattoo is absorbing the hell out of it...no more gunky. Yeah, I know it's not a word, it's my describer for it, you figure it out. The label says 'moisturizes like baby oil without the greasy feel'. We are not as peely looking now. Today is day 9 of the 10 day regimen. Well technicallyy 8 ½. Soon won't have to worry about it anymore. I will make sure it doesn't get dry any time soon. I think I'll use this baby magic stuff as a lotion after showers on a regular basis. It's nice.
  That's all for now. Happy Cartooning! Don't forget to keep the kiddie cartoons in your life, it's fun! |

On the news last night, could have swore it was KOLR10, there was an interview with a pharmacist located in springfield and a representative of Planned Parenthood. As we all know, the morning after pill is prescribed for women who have had unsafe sex within the last 24 hours and wish to PREVENT conception (read pregnancy). Of course this could apply to someone who got drunk and didn't use a condom or any other form of birth control. However, I do not believe that there are a lot of women who do this and want the morning after pill. After all it's a high dose of normal birth control pills. Translate this to mean if used too often you get a very high risk of cancer from these things. More often than not this is used for women who are raped by a stranger, raped by a family member, drugged and raped by aquaintances, date rapes. Apparently pharmacists (read all) in Springfield, MO are refusing to fill these prescriptions. This upsets me (read PISSED OFF). The one pharmacist interviewed said it is the same as abortion. He was asked what if the girl was raped. He said she could give it up for adoption. He was asked what if it was his daughter. He said she'll raise it or give it up for adoption. Obviously this asshole either doesn't have a daughter, or is just that, an asshole (read also hypocrite). Since no one is saying anything about not being able to get regular birth control pills, we can safely assume the pharmacists have no problem with this. This is where we get the accusation of hypocrite. Oh yes, it's true. You have no problem with regular birth control, which also prevents conception you have no right to deny a woman this kind. It is no different. They both prevent conception. You would think that they would refuse to fill regular birth control prescriptions as they are used for the purpose of being able to have sex and prevent pregnancy too. Yes, I know some take it to regulate their cycles and other reasons.
Link to the KY3 article.
Link from KSPR33.
Link from KSPR33.
I have to say the KSPR33 news site is very crappy. There is no search on their site. KOLR10 apparently has no links to the story, I could have swore was on their 10pm news last night.
This deal on refusing to fill prescriptions is so wrong on many levels. If they are allowed to refuse, what's next. Some drugs have some very bad side effects, yet some must take them in order to keep living. Are they going to refuse those too? What about viagra and whatnot. I know there are quite a few who use it just because, but there are those who'd like to and have the desire for sex, but just can't get their 'member' to cooperate. Hell, they use it in the porn industry. If this is allowed, how many pharmacists are going to feel pressured into refusing these prescriptions even though they don't really have an objection to them. Peer pressure, political pressure account for a lot these days.
My main point: How dare these people deny raped women their right to prevent conception. Would we not have less abortions this way? Technically, this is prevention of life, it is administered before sperm meets egg. Ever watched educational shows? I'm fairly sure there is atleast 12hours after sex before the sperm comes even close to reaching that egg. On one hand, the raped girl can worry/fear one less thing concerning her rape and start to heal. On the other, she can worry/fear for up to 3 months or so, before she's sure there isn't a baby from that rape. Reality is you don't automatically stop having your period the instant you are pregnant. Some women have their period for the whole pregnancy. Yes, I have met someone with that. It's true. To all the religious zealots out there: You are trying to tell me your loving GOD said this woman must be RAPED, VIOLATED so that HE can give her a child? Give me a fucking break. If your god is that loving, you can keep him!
*P.S.* This is not a debate about abortion. This is one about a woman's right to birth control and preventing conception BEFORE it happened. If you wanna argue over abortion, you'll have to go over to that post.
If you've gotten this far, congrats, you can breathe now. It's over. You're ok. You have survived. Feel free to put in your 2¢'s worth. Be polite, make a valid argument. I will listen, hell I'll even debate. |

UGH! As we all know by now, I hate housework and try my hardest to avoid it. We also know it stems from doing it when I was younger for a 9 person household with one to help me. Sorry Jenny, at that time, you were really too little to be of help. Besides you were busy walking miles and miles from bus problems. You was an active 6-8 year old. I am also a procrastinator. I will use any excuse to avoid it. Some are valid, some are not.
I need to quit moping and get off my ass and just do it. Today is that day. I have put this crap behind me. The letter and whatnot would have been sent, but hubby didn't wake me up this morning before he left. It's still next to the tv. I am going to send it, and damn the consequences. I feel better now. I don't like it when people try to give me guilt trips. This is how I've reacted to this one.
Kids helped me sort the laundry today. I have several big piles. I let it get out of hand. This is why I hate doing it. I don't see any good reason to do half a load, so I wait. Then sometimes I get distracted and forget. Then there's just too much and it intimidates me. Not today. Hubby has been so sweet, I really should do his laundry. He has enough shirts for 4 weeks. He's almost out. Enough socks for 2-3 weeks. You get the idea. Sometimes that's why I let laundry go. I know he has clothes to wear. It's kind of like, why make the bed when it's going to get messed up again. I only make it when I wash the bedstuff. Yeah, you know it's not as often as I should. Today, I will attempt to do a lot of the laundry without getting discouraged.
The dishwasher is running. I got my dishwasher on the premise of promising to do dishes more often. Well, I run it when I run out of them. Part of it is, I hate to waste the water and soap running it half full. Really, until all the plates and silverware are dirty, the dishwasher won't be full. Depending on when the kids' daddy is home for meals is how often it needs to be done. Usually every 2 days. The last couple days, I was too down in the dumps to bother. I was desperately trying to distract myself. Books, blogs, tv. Yep, anything that will allow my imagination to take me somewhere else. That's denial and avoidance. One can only do that for so long. The pots and pans...well I try to keep up with them. I rationalize a lot. Well there's only a couple from dinner...that would be a waste of soap and water. Not that you need a lot of soap for hand washing. I really need to get better at that. I go through cycles. I will keep up, then rationalize and before I know it, I have counters full and get a wee bit intimidated again. It's really not a big deal as I use the soak and don't have to scrub method. I think I may do some of the big, non-dishwasher items today. But really, my main obstacle...I hate putting the dishes away. Doing too many heavy-ish dishes make my hands swell up. So I use that as an excuse not to put them away, because I won't be able to wash any. Well, it is true however, it's also an excuse. Maybe I'll work out a system and have hubby put them away. Only problem is I hate the way he puts them away. I can never find them. Like most women, my dishes have certain places in my cupboards. They also get stacked a certain way. Men do not understand this. If you stack properly, more will fit in the cupboard. Trying to fit things in their cupboards can be daunting too.
I know, bad girl, using big words. I swear I'm not showing off. I like to use big words. It's fun trying to find different words to say the same thing. I guess it's a little game I play. If you don't know what they mean, ask me or look it up in the dictionary. I do believe you could also google it.
Who knows how long the cleaning thing will last. Maybe this time I'll get it all done before I get discouraged again. I hate the cycle but have yet to figure out how to get myself to break it.
Have a fun day. Cleaning sucks. I don't recommend it. LMAO! |

...to me! Oh and apparently it's Jay's birthday too. I am 28 today. Somehow I don't feel older than I did yesterday, or the day before. When I aged a few years after getting the letter that accompanied my b-day card from grandma. I can only hope she has put off writing oldest sister, because she has actually done nothing. Yes, it may be my birthday, but that does not make problems go away. Oldest was tired of getting dirty looks, snide remarks, and being yelled at. She tried to pretend nothing was wrong but it wasn't allowed. So she left, early, flew to her inlaws. Let me tell you, it takes a lot to piss her off. She lets alot go in one ear and out the other. When it goes this far with her, I know me and my other sisters, my kids, my nephews are not far behind. Jenny thinks grandma won't believe me, she'll only believe Angie. I don't know, the best I can do is send these things. There is enough in there that she will atleast question some things and not interfere. I swear if she gets a letter that makes her feel worse than she already does My children will be permanently removed from the sphere of influence of their grandfather. Only spite and malice would have motivated either my father or his bitch wife to try to get my grandmother involved. That was wrong. That only hurts grandma by association, as it's her son, and provokes her in trying to fix it, and hurts her more when she can't. Not only that, it has already hurt me, and my sisters. That was very stupid of them.
I told hubby last night. I showed him the letter. He couldn't find anything to say. He asked, are you going to send it. I think I have to. I haven't had much success in getting unbiased opinions. No offense RA, but you understand and have had some expirience with things like this, and Tina's stuff damn near mirrors mine. That makes them biased. I did get one spouting philisophical crap about forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn't change the behavior. I've forgiven many times. It still happens, it still hurts me and those I love. Forgiveness is not what is needed here. Trashman is doing a WWTD...what would trashman do, but he hasn't been by yet, so I don't think I'll get an answer there. I did get some hits from the comment I left, but only one bothered to move through more than one post. People, the about me post is only the first one. More has happened since then. Please read the others. I need opinions and what would you do if you were faced with this. Just for a moment forget that you KNOW that your parents would never do this to you. Try the 'what if' thing.
Let me put it into context. The only thing I have actually done, as of yet, is remove myself from the presence of my father. I do not visit, no calls, he is not allowed at my home. My kids and hubby still go visit when he asks, which has been a total of 3 times since Jan. 1. He lied to my oldest sister so I had to tell her. Believe me, what happened to her was only icing on the cake. I knew I was next. Her behavior (which was to leave) did not, nor has it ever influenced me. Jenny knows because she was in contact with my father and the bitch he married has always been rude and mean to her, as has my father. I was feeling her out to see if she was told. Erica knew, she was there. They were rude and mean to her up until she was the only one left. Now the advantage to her is they have to be nice or they will have no one left. Each one of us has come to our decisions on our own.
That is all. Happy fucking birthday to me. |

I am tired of the lies. I am tired of the pretending. Because of someone telling grandma, it has caused us to lie and pretend for her sake, hurting us more in the process. The truth will out. I haven't decided how to do it yet, but she will no longer ask us to forgive and forget or tell us he didn't mean it. BULLSHIT. It has gone on long enough. I will not allow my grandmother to be manipulated anymore. She has never been told about her son. Only about the stepmother he gave us as kids. As bad as she was, she was never as bad as him. It will stop. I will not allow them to be hurt anymore. We did not deserve the life we got handed. It will stop. No more. I've had it.
What I will say depends on if I can find out anything soon. I was up half the night crying running what to say through my head. The smallest amount of information possible to get her to stop trying to interfere and not be hurt in the process. I don't think it's possible. No matter how much I love her, I cannot protect her from this and get their pain to stop too.
*UPDATE* Putting in the links that will do some explaining. I put them in the order I think I wrote them.
About me
Assholes
My Grandma...
Why?
I have put up the cover letter. I manipulated the time on it to have it posted below this one. Scroll on down. |

The cover letter.Posted by Hello

You'll have to click on the image to actually see it. It would take up too much space on the blog full size. Don't forget to zoom it :) This is how it's worded for now. I'm not sure if I'll change it. I'm not sure if I'll send it. |

Someone told grandma. I got a letter with a small lecture today. I know she means well, I know she doesn't know the whole story. She acknowledges that also. I was trying to keep her out of it. She doesn't need to know how unloving her son is. She doesn't need to know how much he still treats his children like shit. I want to know who told her. If he did, or the bitch wife, I will not hesitate to tell her exactly what the problem is. If someone else did, I don't know. I need to know who told her and how much she does know.
I mean would you like to know that your grandkids, the only time they felt wanted or loved was once a year? That whenever he was around her was the only time he ever pretended like he cared?
She asked how I'd feel if he went to the doc and something was wrong. Well, I'd feel about as bad about it as I do for a stranger. No more than that. He does not deserve what I feel for my sisters. If I want to cut myself and my children off from the pain that he gives it's my right. Why should I subject myself to that pain on a regular basis? My whole life I knew I was not supposed to exist. My whole life I knew I wasn't wanted. My whole life I knew I would never be good enough. I could never do right. NEVER. If I choose to reject that and deal with less pain it is my right to do so. Since he still does this to each of us, his children, why should I allow my kids to be subjected to it? Every holiday they've had since then the kids have gone over with my hubby. It's not like he will never see them again. It's that he'll never see me again. He will probably come close to never seeing oldest again, atleast for a long time. That's just wrong. He had no right. Just because you produce half the genes does not mean you have the right to put your children so far down, they never find their way out of the hole.
PISSED! |

  Well, this will be post number 3 today. No ones read any of them, so feel free to scroll on down. Today is a weird day. Ok, on to the story. At Brighton's today she wrote about a scare she had with her son when he was around a year old. I commented I know what it's like, she says go write it. Ok, I will. Right here. Now. Sorry, needed some kind of humor. As always, my thoughts are rarely in any kind of order so bear with me, I'll try.
  When steven was around a year old, his eye swelled up. It was about half shut. Take him to doctor. Pediatrician looks at his eye. Hmm go to hospital he says, we need to do a cat scan on it. Why we ask? Well, need to know if the infection is behind the barrier in his eye. The doc called it cellulitis. Being no doc, I didn't really understand. We know what cellulite is, I have it on my legs, most of us do. In my terms he explained he has an infection under (on the inside) his eyelid. They need to find out if it is behind his eye. Why? Well if it is, he has Meningitis. We do know what that is. This stuff kills. If it was behind said barrier it was fairly likely he wouldn't survive. That stuff gets in the brain and adios! Apparently there is some kind of barrier, say, halfway across your eye as the depth goes. Think straight line. If the infection, bacterial, is in front of, it's ok. If it's behind, it's not ok. They took the cat scan and the radiologist at the local hospital wasn't sure. He's not a pediatric radiologist. My son and I went to Columbia Children's Hospital. They're great there. It was after hours so the pediatric radiologist there wouldn't take a look at the pic until morning. The pediatricians there didn't think so, but they weren't radiologists. They would make no definitive answers. Steven was put on the baddest dose of antibiotics I had heard of. This stuff could have made him sick from the side effects alone. But, if it was behind his eye, this could save his life. Well, not such a hard choice to make. By this time his eye was swelled completely shut. He could still see out of that eye though. His eyelid was not only swelled shut, it was swelled out, so there was a small space for him to see through. He would look up just to see me. He must have been the happiest baby in the pedes ward. The medicine and his eye being closed did not bother him one bit. He was crawling around, pulling himself to stand in the crib. Giggling, whatever. He didn't have any side effects from the antibiotics either. No diarheaa for my baby. In the morning the radiologist took a look at the whatever and said it was fine, the infection was only on the eyelid, no danger of spreading to where we didn't want it to go. We went home, happy as a clam. The only thing that happened with him because of it, is he's now extremely attached to his two blankies. They are must have items. I wish I had taken pics of his eye. He did look funny. Especially when it was shut, but he was still seeing with it. It was a funny contortion.
  As long as we're telling... And then there was the time mikel was around 3. Unbeknownst to me, he had popped the screen out of his bedroom window and threw his toys out, then his blankie and pillow out, and decided to follow them out of the window. Yes my 3yr old jumped out his bedroom window and I'm fairly sure he landed on the air-conditioner thing. Yes he went to the ER, had all the stuff. No breaks, no internal bleeding. Just a couple of bruises and scratches and Spongebob in his ear. He was particularly proud to have spongebob in his ear. First time he ever let anyone put that thingy in his ear without a fight. Oh and there was the time when I thought he was too little to get into my top cupboards and ate some sinus medication. Much more than he should have. Found out he didn't actually ingest as many as it appeared. I guess it was more fun to squeeze the stuff out of the capsules than taste it. Remember: just because it says child proof does not mean they cannot open it. He was 2 years old the first time I caught him opening my ibuprofen bottle. Well, it was the only time too. They are now all locked up with a zip-tie like baby proof cupboard lock. It's the only child-proofing lock things that my kids cannot open. Every other kind: we've tried them, my kids have opened them anyway. No matter what childproof thing you think will work, your kids will find a way. Rope with a crapload of knots has worked better for us.
Have a nice day! |

It's amazing how nice silence is. I separated the boys for their nap. It doesn't work often, but apparently today it will. They aren't asleep, they just aren't making any noise. Put Mikel in my bed, because he's the one that drags their mattresses around the room. Steven isn't quite strong enough to do it yet. With Steven in their room, he doesn't get as many ideas about messing around. Steven only needs something for his hands to hold on to to climb up something. He's figured out how to use his feet to go upwards without footholds on a smooth surface. He no longer needs a chair or stepstool for anything and usually doesn't bother. Mikel didn't figure that one out on his own, Steven taught him how. Amazing the 2yr thought of it before the 4yr old. Steven's more adventurous, and Mikel's scared of everything and everybody. They are polar opposites in many things. Until steven was born, Mikel hardly ever bothered to get into things. Even now, it's usually steven that leads the charge. Used to be I knew when they were getting into something because I could hear the chair being pulled into position. They rarely use them now.
Yesterday I found out I couldn't get rid of the kids all day saturday. It would have been better if he hadn't said anything. I need them out of my hair, and yesterday I said so rather forcefully. I explained in my louder, frustrated voice: you complain about the house not clean and laundry not done and yet you expect me to keep them out of things?!! He had the gall to ask me if our 13yr old nephew could watch them, because he watches the 8yr old nephew on saturdays. I said "hell, no". Not that I don't trust the kid. I know what my kids will do with half a chance. The 8yr nephew is rather rambunctious himself. Doesn't get into stuff and all that, but even when I watch him here, he's a little to rough with my kids and leads them on stuff they aren't supposed to do. Not that they can't do that all by themselves. I can see the 13yr old letting them play outside. Mikel will listen, but steven needs constant attention. He is a handful on his own. They'd be tearing stuff apart. Get into every cupboard. They would trash the bathroom. Being a young boy, the 13yr would probably let my kids go to the bathroom by themselves and wait for them to come out. It doesn't take mine 5 minutes to dump everything. I'm sure no matter where they are no one locks up their medicines where my kids can't get them. Mine have no trouble with any kind of child proof bottles or the capsule thingies. I know, we had an incident with mikel eating some sinus meds and opening a bottle of ibuprofen or whatnot. That was a while back. Without an adult around or just another hand for the nephew, I can't let him watch my kids and 8yr nephew. Like I said yesterday, they divide and conquer, it's an art. I'd let him watch mikel, just not mikel and steven. Mikel doesn't do much if not around steven or at someone else's house. My little hellions, hard to find someone who can handle them. Such is life. I wish the aunts were here. They would understand when I tell them this is what my kids generally do, this is what to watch for. For some reason kids generally don't listen to that advice. Just cuz you've watched tons of other people's kids doesn't mean you can handle mine.
So, nothing special about my birthday for another year. I'm used to it, it shouldn't bother me anymore. Oh well, I already got my mickey and that's what I wanted. Maybe I'll send hubby out with kids and tell him not to come back until after dark. I could use the extra hands for scrubbing the walls, but I can't have everything. Such is life. |

Today could be a good day to wear my I hate Mondays shirt. No real reason, just bad mood carried over from yesterday. When Mikel decided to poop on his bedroom floor and he and his brother painted the walls with it yet again. They were in their room as punishment for dumping the remainder of the liquid soap. I never leave them by themselves for long, they tend to get into things or do stuff they aren't supposed to. I check on them about every 5 minutes. In that time they managed to paint quite the area. Well, atleast they didn't throw it onto the ceiling this time. Why do I have the only kids that enjoy painting their room? The last time they did it was a week ago. I had really thought they decided to stop doing it a while back. Before that it was 2 months they hadn't done it. Been leaving the door unlocked so they can just go potty and not ask. They play in the sink and put toys in the toilet. Lock the bathroom door, and they pee wherever they feel like, mainly down the air vent in their room. I don't bother to clean the toys they get all gross anymore, I just trash them. I have no clue how to break this habit. As steven holds it in until he gets a pullup on most days, I have trouble catching him after he goes. It's not always right after he gets the pullup on, sometimes it's after a while. They no longer poop like clockwork. So timing naps around it don't work anymore. I am at my wits end. It makes me so mad I want to scream. Sometimes I do. Usually they aren't in the same room. Hell, it's better than spanking when I'm really pissed off. I have to set them in a chair, so I can cool off. It'd be nice if their daddy would quit telling me that I wasn't watching them. You want me to clean your house and still keep an eye on them? They do these things when I am in the middle of something. I can't wash the dishes, or load the washing machine, or fold the clothes while they are awake. More often than not when they are supposed to nap they drag the damn bed around, make holes in the drywall, don't ask me how I don't know, climb in the window to jump down. Hit or bite each other. I have to check on them every few minutes. I can't accomplish anything until they sleep. They don't sleep for long. Usually by the time they are sleeping I am so frustrated, I have to find something to calm me down. Cleaning does not do that for me, I get more frustrated with that. I don't have much time in the day to do it, and it pisses me off anyway. A leftover from my non-existent childhood. Identifying your problem and attitude does not always fix it. They're banging on stuff now, and there's only stuffed animals in the room. AAAAAHHHHH!!! Don't get me wrong, I love my kids. We draw, we read, we watch educational cartoons. WE do, I don't use it as a babysitter often. Most days we watch sesame street and whatever is on next, usually barney or disney. This morning, so as not to frustrate me more, I had them sit on the couch all morning. Watching sesame street, then rudolph and the island of misfit toys. I know they wanted to get up and play, but I can't be two places at once. They play in different areas. Mikel is starting to ask to potty by himself. I have to respect that. I have to try to keep steven out of stuff and still notice if mikel is in the bathroom too long. That's when the sink gets turned on, the tp gets soaked, the toilet gets toys in it. It's amazing what kids can do. The other day when I was making sure steven was drawing with crayons only on paper, not on the walls, Mikel got out a butter knife from the silverware drawer and almost got an electrical outlet off his wall. I noticed he was quiet. That's when you know they are doing something they are not supposed to. They get lids off of unopened things. Like the juice bottles. I can't open those things. They can. UGH! He got a jar down from on top of my top cupboards again. I was helping steven pee that time. Divide and conquer, they have it down to an art. I need a break. I need my kids to go somewhere else for a day. Just one day without having to worry about what they are getting into now. A quiet house. A chance to do things. I'll get it on saturday. Hubby doesn't know it yet, but we aren't going anywhere for my birthday. I need to scrub the walls of their room. I need to get all the dishes done. I need to get their carpet shampooed again. I need to vacuum the floor. Yes, those machines are loud and they know it. I need to get all the laundry done.
I love my kids. I wouldn't trade them for the world. I wish they would be the little hellions for other people that they are for me. Everyone thinks they are angels. They are not. They are good for other people. I suppose it's that they don't know how far they can push, so they don't. Plus the novelty of playing with someone new. I wish I had a big yard they could run around in. I wish my yard wasn't next to the road. Ah, well. We can't have everything. Today, apparently, is rant day. Oh well. I never said I was perfect. I'm not. I never said they were either. Most days are good days, it's the bad ones that get you down. |

  I would have written last night after Full Metal Alchemist and Ghost in the Shell, but hubby was playing poker. So, I went to bed and slept like a rock. The night before, I woke up at 2am with my sinuses going "ALERT! ALERT!". Aaah! I had to be awake for an hour to wait for the medicine to kick in. There is no way in hell I can sleep with my nose running...I had to catch it. ;) My leg is sore on and off.
  As you all know we have a new baby. Well not me, but little sister. Finally talked littlest sister into visiting here. She has a blog too, but I'm not giving you the address. Atleast not until she gives permission and changes her profile to take off her name and stuff. Talked to oldest sister...positive news there. She had, I think 5yr in the military. Her hubby had an extra 2. He has a release date, so they get to come home to the states from being stationed in Germany these last 3 years in May. After being deployed a lot, he is still safe and healthy. Thankful for that. I was very worried as she is all the way over there and we are not. If anything had happened...Well, you know.
  Kids dumped my body wash and shampoo all over their room. That's ok, it smells nice now, especially after all the episodes of painting their room. Hubby bought them some train stuff. Thomas the Train from PBS to be exact. They love it. There are two places to flip a switch to stop the trains. Who knew that would be the most fun thing in the world, just stopping a train. They are so cute.
  Hubby's going to be working 7day weeks this summer. The restaraunt job wants him to do weekends. He said he'll do breakfast. He wanted to ask me first. I told him no 12 hour days. It'd wear him out. The chiefs shirt I showed you and the pants I haven't came in. He really likes them. I checked out the chiefs schedule yesterday. Wrote it down on the calendar so he won't miss any. Watched some of the NFL draft. It just so happened that I came across it just before Chiefs got their round 1 pick 15. I have no clue how the draft works. They chose an offensive lineman from the University of Texas with a pretty good record. I don't really know, I don't watch college football. They don't play on the level that the pros do. The thing I noticed in watching the draft was that last year the Chiefs had the #1 offense and the #32 defense. Normally the numbers are only around 5 or so numbers apart. Well, atleast it wasn't the worst defense. Can't wait till football comes back. Fun to watch, things happen. Baseball is boring. Most of the time there's no action in it.
  Yes, I am getting to the cartoons. Full Metal was new, the story wasn't what I expected, it was still very good. I don't think scar will be trying to kill ed anymore. Watched Ghost in the Shell, still confusing, but section 9 got screwed over and disbanded. The batman is still crappy. Justice League was a rerun, but it was one of my more favorite episode. There's something about the Green Arrow ;). I keep expecting Rave Master to revert to the first episode, as I am so sure that it's the last one every time I see it. Well, Haru did destroy all the shadow stones. W.I.T.C.H. is shaping up to be a great story. I think I like this cartoon. I'm on pins and needles waiting for next week. Dragon Booster is still doing reruns, but I really like this cartoon. Inuyasha is still reruns. I wonder when they'll start showing new ones. They're showing One Piece on cartoon network now. It shows on fox in the am. I don't watch it, I got in on a middle episode and seemed stupid. I watched the first two last night, and it's still kind of stupid, but the story had redeeming qualities. I might continue to watch it.
  I've been having a couple new visitors take time to browse my archives. The longest I've had is last month someone did for 16 hours. Today's longest is 1hr something min. Came from seven's. It ain't him unless he got a new isp and ip address. Interesting. I wish if ya'll were reading the posts, you would comment. Dalyna read my abortion post...I want to know what your thoughts were on that. I know you are on the other side of the spectrum. Well, the god thing anyway. You can comment on that post or this one, doesn't matter. I love my trackers. It lets me see what everyone does on my site. If you look at several or just the first page. How long you stay for, if it seems you walked away from your computer. I have 3 trackers. If you are curious, the extreme tracker allows anyone to view who's been to my site. Just click on the purple globe thingy in the sidebar. I'm getting close to 1000 visitors. It's not really that many people, as my readers come more than once a day. The cookie for that counter lasts 6 hours, so if you take more than that, you count as another person. With page reloads the number is 1200 something. Fun times! |

Ok, after hearing Steven say it a few times, I thought this one would be good for ya'll to translate. As it's the weekend, it may take longer for ya'll to guess and me to put up clues.
Game: Translate a 2yr olds words. Todays word is bwoon, as close as I can spell it to how it sounds when he says it. Good luck!
-->Answer: balloon<--
-->The winner: Restless Angel...Sorry Jack, she said it first!<--
Boy RA, you figured that out quicker than I did when he first started saying it. When we go to our local store they give out free balloons to the kids. I'll be doing another one soon.
If ya'll haven't checked out my tattoo yet, it's in the post below. My leg is still sore. Cartoons are great this morning, only on my second one though. I'll keep you posted. Hope Justice League isn't another re-run. A new Full Metal Alchemist is on tonight. Yeah! Have a fun weekend. I'll post this weekend's 'weekend randomness' after all the cartoons. That'll be either late tonight or tomorrow. I'll see about wheedling pics of little Peyton later on. Riding home in the car after a c-section you can feel each teeny tiny bump in the road. She's gonna be in pain, so won't be asking until around 5pm or so. Patience Dalyna, I'll do what I can. All the aunties need pics. Oh, and our oldest sister is back online. She said she was. She was just busy. :) |

Saw little sister and the baby today. Little Peyton is adorable. Forgot my camera. Oh well, I'll get someone to send me some digital ones. She was doing the breastfeeding thing, so I wouldn't have been allowed pics anyway. Soon, I promise.
So, without those pics, I will give you a different one. I got my Mickey tattoo today. As soon as I can talk hubby into taking a pic of it you'll see it. It's very nice. I love this tattoo artist. His name is Lucky. I gave him the pic you see on the top left and he made it better. Apparently with my pale skin, my colors will last longer. It hurts a bit to walk, but no pain no gain. I have strict aftercare instructions. Wash with anti-bacterial soap 3 times a day, use A+D ointment (this specifically) 3 times a day, for 5 days. Still use the soap, and use unscented lotion 3 times a day for the next 5 days. Oh, and I'm not supposed to scratch. LMAO! I know that one. I'm still bleeding a little so the pic may not be great. Lucky was right though, it looks like he slapped on a sticker. He is awesome. I don't want anymore tattoos, but I told him if I ever want another one, I'll come back to him. He's great!
Without further ado...the pic:

My camera isn't that great, so this will have to do. It's got a few misplaced red spots, that's where I was bleeding a bit. We'll do another one after it heals. As you can see, the image on my leg and the one on the top left of the page are not exactly the same. Lucky jazzed it up a bit and I like the way he did it better. |

Little Sister had her baby this am. Forgot what time she told me. He is early. He was due May 23. He is 4 weeks and 3 days early. For a preemie he is very good size. 6lb 6oz, 19½inches long. Her son Ethan was 20 inches at birth. Mine were about that size also. Apparently last night she had contractions and they tried their damndest to stop them, gave her the steroids to make babys lungs complete. Sent her home. Water broke. She had a cesarian. Apparently new baby wanted out. He broke her water with his fingernail. We can giggle now, as they are both ok. Called grandma and littlest sister. Trying to find oldest. We aren't sure the exact date of when they are supposed to be out of the military and home to VA. I will find her though. Celebrations today! I can't believe I forgot to ask her the baby's name. Well, she's not picking up her phone, I'll try to get it later. In my relief over her and baby being ok, I forgot. Silly me.
Ok, now that blogger is, hopefully, back I can publish this damn thing and edit it too.
New baby's name is Peyton Isaac. I did get a hold of oldest sister. They will be back to the states in may. Her husband will not be deployed again. He is home (the base in Germany) from Baghdad safely. That alone is another celebration. Relieved and thankful. Ok talked to little sister's hubby. She glossed over a bit. When they went back to the hospital, they had to choose. They gave a percentage chance for both mommy and baby to live, in having a natural birth. They gave baby 70%-80% chance with a c-section. To us, the choice is obvious. My sister is pretty much guaranteed to live and baby gets better percent chance than natural. Little sister is 21, her husband is 20. His first baby, her second. They got married last april. Their anniversary is in 3 days. I talked to him and could tell he was pretty shaken up having to make that choice. I'm glad everything is well, if it hadn't the poor thing would have been blaming himself for a long time. Baby Peyton was 'born' with his cord wrapped around his neck twice. They took care of that quickly. He has not needed to be hooked up to anything, nor given oxygen. He had a small blood sugar issue which was corrected right away. I hope little sister was out of it enough to not really remember the choices they presented her with. All is well now. Will see her tomorrow. Got a hold of everyone I was supposed to. She will be getting many phone calls.
Oldest sister is going out tonight. She's going to have margaritas. Now that her husband is no longer deployed and won't be, she has someone else to help her take care of their child. For all intents and purposes she has been alone since his birth. Her husband had no choice in this, he was deployed many times. Being an MP, that's just one of the responsiblities that comes with that choice. Brandon, my nephew, recognized his daddy when he came home. He had only been with him a handful of times and not for long. I was worried for them. I will be so relieved when they land in VA, here in the states. He's not officially released yet, and they can extend his stay. He's been deployed for most of the 3 years they have been stationed in Germany. Anyway, oldest needs to get out. Staying home with my kids isn't easy, but I still can make the choice to go out without them once in a while. Now, she can too. Wonderful news all around today. Today is a day for celebrations. |

  I was going to do the book report today. Alas, today is not the day for it. I have some questions to ask. I'm not really expecting answers, I think they may be for myself. Questions I need to answer. However, if you wish, you can answer too.
  Why is it that almost every blog that I have come across and 'kept' touches me? Everyone in my favorites has some kind of life expirience that mirrors my own. Some more than others. (We are assuming that all these people don't lie about their life expiriences.) Tina, for instance is like me in many ways. Quite a few of our beliefs and expiriences mirrors each others, yet we are not all that much alike. Weird. The RA is one I like very much. Her posts mostly hint at some things I have gone through. With much humor added. I sense a kinship almost. Se7en seems to be like many of the boys and men I have been and still am friends with. Sweet, honest, 'knight in shining armor' attitude. Love of learning and computers. I sense that in him. There's Inky. Really I sense a kinship in most of the bloggers. She's going through troubles of her own, and I find myself wanting to 'adopt' her, like I have all the friends I have in my life. Along with that is my sense of, let's call it mothering. I find myself wanting to track down the dickless asshole who's harassing her IRL and on her blog. I have family in the general area and I could ask them to take care of things. No, not like killing or things like that. I have relatives in law enforcement. There's the Trashman. For all his faults, I see him as someone I wish to 'protect' from the harsh things he's going through. He is very humorous and it's how he deals with life. I see him as one of the friends I had in high school. He reminds me of a few of them actually. I wish Jack would write again. Jay I use shamelessly. I go there to laugh. And laugh I do. Sometimes the comments are funnier than the posts. I go to Lois Lane's, but I have yet to comment. She is funny. I see her as the mom I wish I had had. That's why I don't comment, I'm a little resentful that I don't have a funny, loving mother. But hey, here is where I am the most honest. So you'll just have to deal with how I 'see' ya'll. Then there's my newest blog, Brighton's. Really she reminds me a lot of my sister, the oldest one. Fierce in protectiveness of what's hers. Willingness to do what it takes for her's. I wish her the strenght to stand up to her mother and sister and either force them to shape up or reject them from her life. No one deserves that kind of treatment. And like with my older sister, I feel the urge to reject the parent for her. That's how it happened with my father. It was the last straw. I put up with it when he did it to me, but when he did it to her, that was it. No more. Even with her older than me, I am still the mothering one. In this short time, Brighton has touched me the most.
  I still ask. Why couldn't I get parents that loved us? Why did we get a mother that has no use for us beyond what money we can give her or use of our vehicles? I will never forget her effect on my sisters. I will never forgive her for that. Why did we get a father that didn't give a fuck about us? Beyond what use he got of putting us down all the time. You're stupid. You're not worth my time. Why are you still here? Fuck him. If I have my way, I will protect all of my sisters from him. I am trying. I think I have eased some of oldest sister's pain. I hope. I don't understand. If you didn't want us, why didn't you let us go somewhere where we were wanted? It is beyond my understanding. He made my sister feel unwanted. I have rejected him. It hurt him, I saw it. I don't fucking care. He can see what it feels like. They way he treated her, all of us. I will not allow it. He has no right to make my sister feel unwanted, unwelcome at home. I will not forget. I will not allow him to do this to my children. He will never be alone with them. He will see them on my terms. They will not know that pain. They do not deserve it. I am amazed that all my sisters and I turned out the way we did. We had each other, that was it. My sisters are loving mothers and spouses. Well, littlest sister doesn't have a baby yet. How the fuck did we turn out to be loving people. We have been rejected and made to feel unworthy our entire lives. How did we find spouses who loved us and whom we love? With all that rejection, it's a wonder they weren't pushed away. Despite all that, I do feel we are lucky. We have all found love. It just sometimes sucks to 'hear' some of these persons have atleast one parent who loved them. I get jealous, a lot. And wish, once again, that I had had atleast one parent who loved us. Oh well, I still have grandma and grandpa. Atleast we had love for a short week during the summer once a year. I hated the pretending, but atleast they did love us. My father pretended for her. How did that happen anyway? His entire family are loving, yet he is not. He wants to use us as his personal emotional punching bags. We didn't ask to be born. What right does he have to make us feel as if we never should have been?
  That's all I can do for now. Kids are still up and much more and I will cry again. Thanx to all who have touched my life, even though we will likely never meet. |

Books! My books are here!!! {insert appropriate happy dance here!} Ohhh, I'm in heaven now! I got 3 packages today. I was searching on HSN.com for father's day gifts for hubby. Found a couple things on clearance. One came! Yes! I can't keep secrets for the life of me. I just had to tell him. I did make him guess. Took him a while because I told him I spent less than $20 on 2 items with s&h. This stuff was very clearanced. Shirt was either $7 or $12. I can't rememeber which. On item was the one price, you get the idea. Woohoo!! Excitement now! Can you tell?
Picture of the books: As you can see I have 2. Each one is a set of books. 'Texas Trilogy' is obviously 3 books. It is my monthly trashy romance. I am so excited! 'Time Quartet' is obviously 4 books. I will do a comprehensive book report on this one. I have read these before. The first one: 'A Wrinkle in Time' was required reading in English 7th grade. It is science fiction. It was my first foray and introduction into this genre. I liked it so much, I went straight to the library to get them all. I'm unsure whether I read the fourth one. I saw it on the Zooba list and had to have it. It will be good reading for my kids later too. If your kids haven't read it, you might want to suggest it. Don't worry, it's clean unlike my many trashy romances. Your child's imagination will reach new levels with these books, I promise. If you haven't read it, you really should. Even if you don't like science fiction, checking the first one 'A Wrinkle in Time' by Madeleine L'Engle is atleast worth the read. Atleast try it. You must trust me on this one. Full disclosure of all 4 books, I promise. As soon as I reaquaint myself with them. You know me, I'm sure to re-read 4 or 5 times before I tell you.
Picture of the shirt: Hubby is major Chiefs fan. Die hard, like the rest of his family. He doesn't have many chiefs shirts. He wears them to work, so they are stained and 'holey'. We joke they are his sunday shirts ;). He won't let me pitch them, so I endeavor to get new ones when I can. I'm giving it to him when he gets home from work. I have never been able to wait to give a gift after I get it. My family is used to it by now. They get their presents before the appropriate holidays because I can't help myself. I get so excited that I found the 'perfect' thing. A lot of thought goes into them. Ah, well he'll like it. When we went to the game last september, I think, he couldn't find a shirt that said chiefs that wasn't ruined. Ended up with a plain red one from wal-mart. He was soooo disappointed. It's like taking a kid into a toy store and telling them they can have whatever they want, no expense spared. And when they decide you tell them, nope changed my mind can't have it. I'll show you the pants when they get here. I'm so excited. He's working day with his brother today so he'll be home sometime after 5pm.
Have fun ya'll, I know I will. So EXCITED! |

  So, it's the weekend and it's time for weekend randomness. I normally post it on Saturday. Oh well. I know ya'll have been just dying to hear my thoughts. LMAO! So, in no particluar order, we begin.
  My hands hurt. A lot. I know what it is. I've strained the tendons in my hands again. Usually it's from typing too much. The 'cure' for it is some anti-inflammatory pills and not using my hands until they are 'healed'. Can't really do that. Have to cook, semi-clean, and take care of my kids. Steven likes to be picked up a lot. That in and of itself aggravates it. Oh well. I think I'm going to research some herbal anti-inflammatory stuff. If it exists and the side effects aren't too bad. I saw some ace bandage type things for hands, may do that also. Support them for a while, like I do with my ankles when they need it.
  Steven's pretty much potty trained. They haven't 'painted' their room in a while. They are fighting over toys now. I suppose it's just a sibling thing. Steven bit Mikel hard enough to leave marks yesterday. You'd think it'd be Mikel doing the bullying, as he's 2 years older. It's so funny to watch. They share so well and play together then all of a sudden Steven decides he wants to do what Mikel is doing. Steven smacks, pushes, or whatever to get his way. I do my best to curtail it, but he's only 2. Mikel's still mostly independent, likes to play by himself. Not so much as before Steven was born. Mikel has been saying the wildest things lately. He has some imaginary pet bugs. There's also the tiger that lives under his bed. It's very friendly. Some monsters too. For some reason the tiger only plays in Mikel and Steven's room, but the monster is usually in my room. Unless it's bedtime. LMAO! They are getting so big. A couple weeks ago we dressed up a 2"x12" so Steven could stand on it to pee. Just last week Steven didn't need it anymore. He grew 2" in a week! Damn. It worries me a little, my older sister had some extreme growth spurts when she was younger. She was in a lot of pain at that time. I guess that's where the saying 'growing pains' comes from. I keep an eye on Steven to see if he seems sore or cranky. I am so paranoid when it comes to my kids. Steven talks up a storm. I was worried for a while. He didn't speak pretty much at all until after he turned 2. I knew he would eventually as I could tell he heard and understood words. I'm sure it's a natural thing to be worried about your kids. I need to relax about it a little. It's a bit obsessive. One of those things that keeps me from sleeping.
  I need a new book. I've started jonesing. I still have the 10 books from the library, but they are no longer enough. I can tell, I've been getting a bit jittery and am obsessing over things to read. I re-read the first 3 of my dragonrider series books again. Oddly, it's not enjoyable this time around. I still like the story, just not reading it. That has never happened before. I'm starting to get very bored.
  Haven't been making anymore bars or buttons. I want to, just can't seem to find cooking pics I can use to make them. The clipart I found in searching has to many conditions attached to them. I think I'll be searching my harddrive soon. I'm pretty sure that word and works come with a lot of clipart. It's just a matter of searching for it. I want to put some up on Tina and I's recipe blog. Link is on the left.
  I never did tell ya'll what my secret passion was. If you remember me bringing it up. I can't get my folder back. It would take too much effort, I am not dealing with the bitch just to get it. I can replace most of what was in it. Not my drawings, but the things I use to draw from. Basically it's something that I love to do that almost no one knows about. I guess some of it is in my genes, and some lingers from having a childhood that was cut short. I have a collection of coloring books. I color a lot. I have my own special set of crayons and colored pencils. No one is allowed to use them. Many have not respected my art stuff, so I no longer allow them to be used. I have a special pencil sharpener just for my colored pencils. You cannot use it for regular pencils and have it still sharpen colored ones properly. I can draw anything except mickey mouse and peoples faces. All I need is a picture to draw from. Inevitably the drawing I make and the picture I use are very different sizes. It seems I draw bigger. For some reason there's a block there when I try to draw something from the pictures in my mind. I have to have a picture. Then I color it. I've always wanted to use color pastels ever since we messed with them in an art class I took. I found some rather cheap at Target. I also picked up canvas paper. As soon as I figure out what I want to draw on it, I'll produce one. It should be a fun venture. I'll need a picture though. I like color pastels because they are like crayons except you can smudge the color and mix it around with your fingers. To get the proper color you want. It's not like paint. I do, however, want to do that too. My grandfather painted until a back surgery left him nearly blind. His artwork is awesome. He is no one anyone knows, he has never sold a painting. I'd take a pic of the fire painting, but it's at my father's and I will not go there. Maybe I'll have someone take a pic of the one grandma has. I asked her for it once. It's her favorite, so no. My grandfather did oil paintings, textured paintings, and crayon melting ones. They are really neat too. He used our crayon left overs to make his pictures. I think he came up with that one after all the grandbabies, us, broke crayons and grandma bought us new ones. I remember watching him do one. I was probably around 8 or 9 so I asked a lot of questions. It was neat to watch. I do have an eagle painting he did. It's not as good as the fire ones, but then those are my favorites. Maybe I'll take a picture of it and show ya'll. I want to create something and then give it life. That's the way I see it. You sketch with your pencil, then color it and it comes to life. Hmmm. My hands need to get better before I can draw again.
  Cartoons yesterday were awesome. I almost missed digimon, it was a rerun but I still liked it. 'The Batman', which I still think is a very lame name, was still very crappily drawn. Yuck! Rave master was confusing, but then I missed quite a few episodes in the story line. Full Metal Alchemist was awesome. I thought for sure we'd solve the puzzle of what Ed couldn't tell Al before, but would when asked this time. Nope. Have to wait until next week. I want to see it now!, but then that's the point. Ghost in the Shell was as confusing as ever, but it was still good. I still don't understand why I watch a cartoon that I cannot understand. Inuyasha was a rerun. If anyone missed those last 3, there will be a rerun of them on Thursday night on the cartoon network. ;)
  Hubby came home after work last night and said he had bad news. They want him to work next weekend too. I asked him why it was bad news. He doesn't want to, I guess. I told him to say no then. He says he can't pass up the money. I said you can too. He's working with his brother during the week now, and he pays well enough. He's pretty tired, I don't think he'll do the weekend thing much longer. Whether he likes it or not, he's getting older. Long hours are taking more of a toll than they used to. I just have to get him to come to that idea without him knowing it. It's an art telling your man what he needs to do and how to do it without him knowing. I don't do it often, just when he needs it. If I don't he'll be burned out by next month. Too tired to even play with his boys. That I cannot allow. Not for my boys, not for him. Playing with the kids restores his sanity and takes his mind off the adult things, and his kids are very bitchy when Daddy doesn't play with them every day. They miss him. Yesterday they asked me all day if daddy was home. The bond between them is hard to explain, it just something you have to see. Most people take it for granted. I don't, I know what it's like to not have that bond. My kids have that, it's wonderful. I know I picked the right man to spend the rest of my life with. I know I made the right choice to have children with him. My kids will grow up knowing their parents love them.
  Well that's it for now. Have fun with what's left of the weekend! |

  Before we get into this subject: I swore I wasn't going to post for a bit. I wanted the abortion post up for a bit, as I feel it's an important issue, no matter which side of the fence you are on. However, going to my regular blogs one has compelled me to write about this subject. This blog is a new one for me, heard about some things over at se7ens. Went to visit, and put it in my bookmarks. No...not giving the url.
  I guess some background in order. Reasons for staying to read the blog I am talking about it. At first, the diary of a stripper threw me. I do not like the stereotypes that go with it. The things that happen to a lot of women who have made this choice. I'm not even sure it really is necessarily a choice. For some it's a must do in order to survive. Women are very good at that they are survivors. I never minded my husband going to a strip club, he has gone once since we were married. We had a fight and I still don't know why he went. He comes home to me, that was my sole reasoning for it. I understand guy's needs. Porn is one of them. Now I'm not so sure I want him to visit one at all. Ever. I still don't object to the idea per se, just what it does to women in the profession. Women in those places are sex objects, and I know what that's like. I do not like it at all. No, I never did or will do something like that. Nor will I ever judge a woman for that choice. Enough about that. That's not the point, just some background. There was a great post about effects from the woman's point of view. Today was a post about her daughter. No idea really what her daughter is like other than she has a mind of a 6year old and is turning 13.
  On to the show. I'm going to take you back to my schoolage and non-existent childhood. My pics below may look like I'm happy, but they were always rare moments. We're going to sum it up in a few sentences for background purposes. For the curious, Just go to the archives, later I may edit in the links. This is not really about me, more that you'll understand my motives for saying what I am going to say. After about 3rd grade, I was a child no more, rather a mother figure to my sisters, my friends, and just about anyone else I was aquainted with. I got along better with the adult friends my father had over for parties than I did with kids my own age. There were a few in school I was close to, and related to, but not many. I have always been easy to talk to. Even strangers will tell me their problems with no prompting from me at all. I see a 'problem' from both sides. I am able to point them out when needed. Even with my friends, I was more often than not a sort of mother figure. I've been a mother for longer than I've had my children. This will explain my fierceness in protecting what is mine. My sisters, my friends, someone who needed a 'protector'. This is who I am, it is ingrained in me. This defines me. I think this is enough background to give you the picture.
  In my life I have had few friends, but I was fierce for those who were. I am going to give you the description of a family that lived near me. First there was Charlie, didn't pay all that much attention to him. He was self-sufficient and didn't need me. A bit of a dork. I still remember him fondly. His little brother Shorty. Who was actually taller. I think Shorty is almost 7 feet at full growth now. He was my age. I am the only person he ever allowed to call him Shorty without feeling insulted. He was protective of his sister, whom I will get to, with problems of his own. I guess this is what drew me. I have always been more comfortable with guys than girls. Guys aren't the jealous, vindictive creatures that girls, especially teen ones, are. He was very sweet, had a bit of a crush on me forever. As far as I know he still may. I hope he finds someone. He was a gentle creature, very tender feelings. He was very smart. He was dyslexic. His father was constantly telling him how stupid he was simply because he had trouble reading through no fault of his own, and frankly he tried very hard to do so. My friends are all like that...not the crush but most everything else. His sister Jackie is the one we are referring to in this story. She was a couple years younger than us. I think he told me once she was about age 10, in terms of maturity. She will never get beyond that. Shorty had big dreams. He played basketball merely because he was tall. It's too bad he wasn't that great at it. He wanted to be a professional because of the money it could bring. What would this money bring? A better life and better care for his sister. That's all. This was his main concern in all the years I've known him. He wasn't embarrassed to have a retarded sister. He loved her, so much.
  We aren't going to have a linear story, yet again. Let's get to that word 'retarded'. Man that word pisses me off. I don't like it. I hate that that's the medical word for it. What does this word actually mean? It means slow. That's all. Yet it is a derogatory term to some of the sweetest, kindest, gentlest people you will ever have the good fortune to meet. Personally I don't like to use a label at all. I use the word slow, I do not like it. I find it more acceptable than the other one. You know the word used in music means slow the tempo. I was a band geek. It made me cringe to hear it in that context too. I can't express enough how bad that word disgusts me. I heard it a lot. No, not to me, to those gentle creatures I was telling you about. I did have a reputation in school. I had it by association, but I did prove it once. You don't cross me or mine. You don't insult me or mine. You do not dare to cross me. And for a time it worked. It only worked when I was within earshot. But atleast these gentle creatures did not have to hear these insults, or be confused by them for a short time. It was the best I could do for them. The way the kids in my school treated them made me want to cry. It's not their fault they're different. Different is not bad. I was, and am still, a bit envious. I mean wouldn't it be nice to not have all the problems in your life off your shoulders for a while? They don't have to deal with the problems in life we face. It must be nice. Then you have on the other hand, sadness. They may never know the love of a child of their own. They may never have a loving partner in life. The expirience of dating. The many things we take for granted, they will most likely never know. It's a tradeoff. On one hand, they are very lucky, on the other they have insults, derision and the inability to have what we do. They were born that way, just as we were born the way we are. I like the term 'special'. Because, really they are. They are special, unique, loving, gentle. Befriend one, and you will see how much they have to give. Befriend one and you will never be sorry for it.
  Ok, back to the subject at hand. We rode the bus with Jackie. In general, she was a happy creature. I remember once, the guys on the bus thought to tease her. One of them should be her boyfriend. She would brag about it, not that she really understood what it meant. Everyone would laugh at her. Oh, the rage. I think this may be when I almost broke someone's nose. Like I've said before, you mess with mine, and you mess with me. You don't really want to expirience what I am capable of. He saw my rage and ducked pretty damn quick. He, nor any of them, ever did it again. I know they did not. She didn't lie. I had, in essence, adopted her. Because of my friend, and because of her. Their family life, I judge to be, was worse than mine. And that was pretty bad. Their father was a lazy bastard. He was on disability and always whined he couldn't work and had to be supported by the checks and welfare. Even in my area where most of the kids' families were on some sort of it, it's still a shame. A stigma. Kids are vindictive, vicious creatures. He whined all the fucking time. That asshole was constantly starting a new 'business'. Not the pay taxes sort of one. Usually it was something like I'll fix my friend's cars and they'll pay me for it. I've seen that man lift engines and shit. He was definitely not disabled. Not only was he like this, he was worse. He stunk to high heaven. I swear he didn't believe in bathing. I have no idea why his wife stayed with this asshole. He wasn't exactly nice. His kids were embarrassed to have friends around. He was a pig. His wife, who was stepmother to his kids, was a very nice woman. She tried very hard. She worked full time, overtime when she could get it. She tried to keep the house clean. She tried to take care of Jackie. Make sure she bathed, brushed her hair, and doing the period thing that even Jackie expirienced. Being young in her mind, I'm not sure what Jackie's reaction was when every month she would bleed from 'down there'. The woman was tired, she was depressed a lot, she tried so damn hard. You can imagine what this is like. My mothering instincts came out. I have given that man a piece of my mind. He didn't like it much. He didn't say much about it though. I was, god I hate this, gorgeous and his son had a crush on me. He thought I was going to be his very own. Ah, HELL NO! This man creeped me out. I don't know what he was capable of, but let me tell you, I was never alone and without my trusty baseball bat around him. And I am very good with a baseball bat. He was a big man too. I'm not stupid. There were others I had to deal with, so I know what was in this man's mind. I'm not telling you this to feel bad for me. I'm showing you something. You'll see. Even with all this, I took care of those two. To the best of my ability. With all my problems, with the creepy disgusting father, I took care of them. No, I don't want any: 'oh props to you' or whatever. I don't want, nor do I need that. I am writing this for a reason. So that anyone with a 'special' child will know. KNOW that even though their child will deal with the assholes around them, there can and will be some that will see them for the angels they are. There are some with all the problems that comes with peers and being a teen, some will see the problem. Some will stand up for their kids when their parents cannot be there to do it. Some will do what is necessary to see the 'special' one's ride of life is as smooth, without bumps, as it is within their power to make it. They will be cherished for who and what they are. Some will look beyond the stigma. The blog I mentioned: the mother was saddened. As her daughter had no friends, and noticed none were there. This is sad. What is sad is that the daughter noticed. I'll tell you, as creepy and disgusting as it would have been, if Jackie had had a birthday party I would have been there. I would have dragged everyone I possibly could there. My sisters, my friends, etc. You know, I even invited her to my wedding. I went to that creepy place and gave them my invitation. The father is an ass, but I liked Jackie and her stepmom for that matter. I really did want her there. If he was the price I had to pay for it, I was willing. Yes, even at my wedding, I did notice that she was not there and was saddened by it. I celebrate the important events in my life with my friends and family. She was not my friend. She was my family.
  I guess this preaching has come to an end. So now, think about what you have been told. Remember it's not their fault they are different. Remember to treat them with respect and dignity. Remember that they are quite possibly, the people who will touch you the most in this short life we all have. They are special. Do not forget. |

You are cordially invited to take a trip with me down memory lane. Instead of using a post for the pics, I put them up at the bottom of the page. Just scroll down. My new scanner is fun! |

  After reading the title, if you think that this post might piss you off CLICK ON THE HATEMAIL BUTTON! Think twice before making rude or hateful comments. I always welcome a different point of view. I, myself, have many. So if you would like to present an argument, or voice your opinion, great. If you cannot do so without being hateful or rude, remember, you were warned!
  So, onto the subject. In reading my daily blogs, there is someone who has a political one also. On that site there is a reference to endroe.org. I did not visit the site, as I do not support the cause. Explanation to come. The gist I got, from the post, was that the endroe movement only wishes to force our congressmen/women to judge the merits of a supreme court justice nominee not ONLY on their view of abortion and shoot them down on that alone. Instead they want the nominee to be judged on their overall view of many issues. I can agree with that. However, there was no mention of their ability to set their views aside and judge a case based ONLY on evidence and arguments presented to them at the time of the 'trial'. I know that can't really be called trials, they are in essence appeals of different decisions of lower courts. This in and of itself bothers me.
  Maybe it's naive of me, but I always thought that was the essence of our entire justice system. AND I thought that the Supreme Court, being the last word on appeals, should be held to this standard without exception. From what I understand of things, and I was good in school and read all the textbooks, When a case goes to trial: the judge is expected to judge on the evidence and testimony presented. the jury is expected to also. They are not supposed to judge based on their own beliefs, and/or prejudices, and/or politics. We are all human and make mistakes, I get that. One would believe that would be most likely to happen in the jury. As judges do this kind of thing for a living and are, for the most part, elected one would think they should be held to a higher standard. I know they are not. How, you ask? One only has to read the yearly article in Reader's Digest on the worst judges in America. They pick only 5. Of all the ones I read this year, only one lost his license to practice law at all, and simply went to a different state. I believe that a supreme court justice, and therefore the nominee, should be held to a higher standard. Fuck up with that and you're out. That doesn't and, probably, will never happen. Once one is approved, they are there until they die or resign. Our chief justice has cancer and is sick, yet he is still on the court. WHY! That's just fucked up. They should be required to be at every single one of them. Barring their death or a conflict of interest. They are of the highest court, one would think anything else could be scheduled around their cases. They chose to be considered for our highest court, where they, in essence, decide many of our laws. No, they don't write them. They interpret them. Enough about that. That's only the thing that got me started...on to abortion....
  Where to start...hmmm. The pro-lifers. I know you can't really lump them all in together. Still I will qualify with a BUT.... The image they project, on tv, in pamphlets, etc is one of extreme intolerance. So when I say pro-lifers are intolerant, think they are superior, and are religious zealots, I have good reason. No, I do not believe that all are that way. However, if you are lumped in there, it's your own fault for allowing those people to give the rest of us this very bad impression of you. And no, the person's who's site I was talking about, I do not think she is any of those things, quite the opposite in fact. I am making a generalization, just as a lot of pro-lifers do about women who do get abortions and the doctors who perform them. If you are pro-life and wish to express your views, feel free. Just read the entire post before you pass judgement. My thoughts are never linear, so you will have to make do. The way I see it, if you define yourself as pro-life you believe that under absolutely no circumstances is abortion is acceptable. Soon, I promise, I will give you a few scenarios and it will be either something you refuse to 'hear', or have never thought of before.
  My beliefs: Obviously I am not a pro-lifer, so that makes me pro-choice. In essence, yes, but I do have qualifiers. I do believe there are some women who make this decision simply because they didn't CHOOSE, yes I said choose, to use birth control. Just as having sex is a choice (this will be qualified later) so is using a condom and another type of birth control. It's all about choice. Then there are women who did not have a choice, yes it will be covered. Back to the ones who did choose to have sex. Ok, maybe she did use a condom, maybe it broke. Maybe she did use birth control, maybe it didn't work. She still chose to have sex. You choose you pay the consequences. Now before you get your back up, I will explain. Regardless of whether the pregnant woman chooses to: a) have the baby and raise it herself, b) have the baby and give others who can't concieve a chance to have a baby, c) abort the baby, they are all still consequences. That single choice, whichever she chooses, will have consequences for the rest of her life. Yes, I will concede that some women do not have a mother's instinct and do not care about the choice they make, this is rare. Choice A) raising this child will be hard, even with the other parent there. Raising a child is not easy. Choice B) giving someone who can't concieve the chance at raising a child. Now, before you say anything, you do not know that the baby will get adopted, it could end up in the system. It's hell to try to get, in essence, permission to adopt. So the system and not a loving family is a likely scenario in here. Also another possiblity, while I think/sincerely hope this is also rare, that the child will get adopted but not be in a loving home. This can range from emotional to physical to sexual abuse. These are possibilities a woman will consider when thinking about this option. Choice C) abortion...the hot button word. Getting rid of the baby. No one...ever can presume to know what any one woman was thinking, or what led to her decision to exercise this option. This is something you cannot know, cannot 'own', unless it is something you have done. It's still something you will live with for the rest of your life. All the what ifs, what might have beens...do not even presume to know what this is like. Only in having the expirience can you truly know. I am going to equate this to miscarriage. No, I did not say it is the same thing. I said the word equate. It is still the complete loss of your baby. Did you know that they call miscarriages, in the medical profession, spontaneous abortions? Yes, they do. Now, before this pisses you off, know that I had a miscarriage when I was young and this is what they said to me. Actually they asked me if I had had an abortion. I did not know I was pregnant. Shock...horror...disgust...fear...sorrow...depression...guilt...all my fault. Things you cannot imagine. All in just a few minutes time. So...point being...do not, ever, presume to know what any of those decisions, a b or c, would do to a woman unless one of those choices was yours. Trust me when I say, you do not want to know my wrath if you get arrogant with me on this one.
  I believe strongly in the woman's right to choose. It is her body, not yours. ABSOLUTELY no one has the right to tell her what she has to do with it. In all those studies, ones I've seen reported, never did I once see the question even asked. The all important one. Yes they asked if it affected the woman for the rest of her life, if it was a painful decision, etc. Never did I see asked: If you had the decision to make again, same scenario, would it be the same? Would you still choose abortion?
  Scenario #1: You're pregnant. Yes!, you want your baby. Go to the obgyn. Have tests, ultrasounds, etc. The baby is dead or dying. Your obgyn tells you, look we have to take the baby out, or you will die. Yes, this can and does happen. Out of the many women who get pregnant each year, it's rare, but it does happen. When the baby starts to deteriorate(sp?) it gives off the same nasty stuff that a dead, has been born person does. It's going to make you sick, most likely die. Choice: take the baby out, or keep it there. This is still technically an abortion. Even if the baby is dead. I believe they call it a partial birth abortion. The baby is already dead, should the woman die too? Should it not be her choice? The same doctors who do this, are the same ones who work in the abortion clinics. Not all of them work only in the clinic, many do volunteer their time. Of course, on the other hand, not all who do perform abortions work in clinics. They work in hospitals and dr.'s offices. Those who value life cannot honestly say they do not support abortion in this scenario. If you say you do, I name you a hypocrite.
  Scenario #2: Your daughter is brutally raped by someone she either knows or doesn't know. That part does not really matter. Key word here: raped. They now have the morning after pill, you know the one the pro-lifers didn't want to be on the market. Would you expect your daughter to carry the child of this violent act? I suppose, if you would do that, you would also expect her to raise this painful reminder. Not only do you condemn your baby girl to have this constant reminder, but you have also just condemned your grandchild to an exsistence in which they will, most likely, be hated for the rest of their life by their own mother. There is a connection, in most women, to a baby they carry. Even if your daughter chose to carry this child of a violent act and give it up for adoption, what did you just sentence your baby girl to? A pregnancy is actually 40 weeks. That's not nine months...it's ten. That's almost a year. We all know it takes years of therapy, family support, etc. for a raped woman to get past it. It'll still be there for the rest of her life, but with a little luck, she'll get back to leading, hopefully, a fairly normal life. I cannot imagine what it would do for her to carry this reminder, then to give it up. I have only honor and respect for women who are able to do so. Carry and give up, or carry and raise...that must take awesome courage. I'm not and refuse to belittle that. You're going to make your baby girl do something like this? You want her to keep that pain for as long as you can possibly keep it there? If you say, you could do that...to your own flesh and blood? I have no choice but to call you a hypocrite. I know, being a mother, it's impossible to do that to your child.
  Scenario #3: Your baby girl, is not only raped...but she is repeatedly raped...by a member of your family. We call this molestation. You would make her keep this child? This reminder of a betrayal, so deep? This pain she has kept inside for days...weeks...months...years? This loss of trust? I'm sorry to anyone, who was raped, that this offends, but I believe this is far worse than being raped by a stranger. This is someone they trusted. Was a member of their family. You expect me to believe you would force her to keep the child? Don't lie to me, better yet do not lie to yourself. If you love your child, you would never do this to her.
  For me, those are my 3 most acceptable reasons for abortion. I do not believe it should be used as birth control. Simply because you made the choice to have sex. It shouldn't be that easy. And it's not, not really. They still have to deal with the emotions, the consequences, of this choice.
  We have come full circle...back where we started. If they succeed in overturning Roe v. Wade, well that scares me. When I commented at the above site, which I will not give you the URL for, I said that. Only that it scared me. She didn't want to get into an abortion debate...I respect that. But I can voice my opinion here. And if she ever chose to make a post about abortion itself, I will certainly do it there. Like I said before...it's the extreme face we see of the pro-lifers. Their message is that abortion should be banned, forever, no matter the reason, no matter the scenario. They have claimed that if they ever succeed in overturning Roe v. Wade, they will ban abortion. This is what bothers me. There are legitimate reasons for this choice. You cannot condemn those who make it. You do not have the right. I do not have the right. I am sure that they condemn themselves enough for all of us. They do not need your help to do this.
  Breathe now, it's ok. Comments are now open for your opinion. Any hateful comments will be dealt with by me, or our local 'knights in shining armor' over at the hatemail site. If you haven't done so, now might be the time to visit over there, before you comment here. |

Today's word is Uhh-Pair. No the last part isn't really the word pair, just what it sounds like when he says it. It's a 2 word phrase. The way he says it is a little misleading, but a few repeats of it may help. First clue after a few guesses.
-->Clue #1: He points when he says it<--
And the winner is: Tina...she guessed it with only one clue. Sorry, no prize. |

I think I will get it! Hubby had forgotten all about talking about it, but I reminded him. Had to a little forcefully, but every once in a while it's a must. So, around my birthday, which is a thursday, I will get my mickey. If you want to see, click on the first tattoos post. Also the mickey graphic I'm going to get is on the left, on top of the sidebar. I printed him out in full color and black and white. We'll see what the tattoo artist says. Looks nice both ways. As I know you can't use white ink, not sure exactly how it will be. I'm excited. I'll post pics. It never looks exactly as it will right afterward, but it'll be close enough. It's going on my right ankle. Well not on, just above it. |

Yes I know, it's vacuum. However the point is not to guess what the word is, but what he is referring to. No it's not the vacuum cleaner, although he does call it that.
-->Ok, I'll give a clue: It's a machine.<--
-->Clue #2: It has an engine...that makes a very loud sound<--
-->Clue #3: It's used outside. Not an automobile<--
And the winner was....Se7en. He didn't guess until all 3 clues were up, but seeing as it's a guy's playtoy, I think he'd have gotten close with just 2 clues. LMAO!
-->Answer: A Lawn Mower, nothing fancy, no bag on it, pushmower. I don't know why he insists it's a vacuum, but maybe it appeared that way when he was watching the neighbor lady mow her lawn.<-- |

I think hubby is finally gonna let me get my mickey. Well, he doesn't really care per se, it's just hard to get a babysitter so that you can get a tattoo done. That and my last babysitter I no longer trust. My birthday, as you can see on the counter, is soon...the 28th. It's a thursday, but maybe for the weekend he'll get someone to watch the kiddies and we'll go get my mickey. I took several pics of the tattoo I do have, but I gotta tell ya, it was damn hard to do. It's on my left ankle. It's hard to twist your leg around to get a damn pic. Then resizing to get around the right size. Also, my camera isn't doing so well and had to adjust so you could 'see' the design. No, it's not very well drawn, but it was free and the guy was just learning and I volunteered to be the guinea pig. It's supposed to be a ying yang....One side white tiger black stripes, One side black panther white stripes(highlights). What it ended up was 2 tigers together in the circle. As you'll see, there's no real way to fix it, but that's ok, I actually like it. It's time for shorts and anklets, so I get to show it off...for people who actually notice things. I'll be posting the mickey graphic too. May have to redo it if the transparency craps up the pic. I printed it out and the size it is, is about 2-2 ½". It will be just above my right ankle. I want it done in outline really. I know you can't really do white in the ink, your skin absorbs it pretty fast. So the color I want to do it in is that green/basic ink color. That green they used to do before they had colors. I will be going into a shop or two to make sure whatever artist I choose will be able to either free-hand accurately or be willing to trace him. I do not want a fucked up mickey. It took me years to find the exact fantasia/sorcerer mickey I wanted. I also want the musical sheet with the notes on it too. The whole pic.
Here goes...first pic is left size it was taken, but 'warmified' it and did some highlight so the design would stick out like it does when I see it...second pic is roughly the size it actually is, and yes my skin is tanner than it should be, think ghost white...3rd pic is the mickey graphic I want for my tattoo. Roughly the size I want too. I judged this by using my printed out mickey, held it up to the screen over the one in the program and adjusted till it looked right. For some reason the program prints smaller than actual size on the screen. My ruler says mickey will be @2 ½"Hx2"W...without further ado, the pics: First pic removed, I didn't like it.
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Update #2: It's done now, blow dried my hair about half way...never was good at that. My hair is thick and very straight. Won't hold even a perm. So...look in the mirror, brush my hair straight from the part...which is dead center and always has been, and what do I see. Can't guess? Hubby missed a big ass fucking patch on both sides. But...You can't tell when I brush my hair back to behind my ears. I think it may be that that part was a bit darker. I could have swore he got the whole front...had to keep telling him that the back felt dry in patches. (Poor guy, it's hard to even get shampoo and conditioner all through my hair it's so damn thick. He had to try with hair dye. He's done it before.) I'll have to wait until my hair is completely dry. I pulled it back into a semi-ponytail and the color is nice. Yes, it does look good on me...I have the complexion and even the freckles for it. It's the color I thought it would be...not exactly the color that's up here in the post. It's got a purplish tint to it. I think that's cool. I'll do some pics so we can all see. I like it. It is pretty much the same color my hair gets when I'm in the sun alot.
*update* There's no going back now...Color is in...have to wait another 20minutes to rinse. If you beg...maybe I'll let you see a pic of the new color. LMAO! Not really, if I get around to it I'll get hubby to take one of the hair, but not my face. I don't like to have pics taken of me.
It's time. My hair is a medium-dark brown. I am now getting white, not grey hairs. This makes them stand out more. There aren't many so it's more noticeable. Plus every once in a while I get tired of my hair color. Let me explain about my and my sisters' hair. It actually has all the colors in it. One of my sisters is blonde...we aren't referring to her. Our hair also has a lot of red in it. I have to be careful about swimming in chlorinated pools, because my hair will go bright orange. Carrot color. Needless to say I don't swim. When there are bright lights or it's really sunny out you can see a lot of red in it. Also, if I'm outside a lot during summer my hair goes redder, an auburnish color. So once in a while, I change the color a little and put more red in it. I don't like to be in the sun a lot...I burn really easy and don't tan.
This is what my haircolor is now...except you can see the red in it:
This is what my hair color will be, which is what it ends up like in summer anyway: I know, most people can't change color to red without it being obvious. True redheads have pale complexions. I can get away with it because I am pale. It's very rare when I can find a foundation that doesn't make me look tan or paler than I am. It's really hard to find the right shade. Believe it or not, a lot of the ivory's make me look tannned.
This is the product: |